I’m in a season right now where God is reminding me (on an almost hourly basis) of how very little control of my life I have. You see, as a Type A, that is a very scary and uncomfortable position. I mellowed a bit in my twenties (working full time while going to law school five nights a week will do that to a gal), and thought I was doing really well now that I’m in my early 30s.
But two small kids, homeschooling, working three days (yeah, right. This week it was quite a bit more), trying to be a good wife, stay on top of the house, minister through Women’s Ministry and Sunday School, pretend I have a friend or two – I’m wiped out and spiraling out of control. Throw in teaching a class at Purdue this summer, writing manuscripts, a blog, running a state chapter of ACFW, the upcoming conference. I am so out of control it’s not even funny.
And I can sense my Father smiling as I type this. He’s whispered in my ear all year that new things are coming. The sense of expectation I have is huge. But the reality is I’m stuck juggling all the same balls with a couple more added in for fun. Yet that soft whisper speaks to my heart.
“I’m doing something new. Don’t look backwards. Look to the future. I am making the way.” (Isaiah 43:18-19). That passage has become such a comfort to me the last few weeks. I want God to move on my time table. To act even faster than I hope. Yet, He says, “I’m doing it. Sit back. Relax. Enjoy the ride.”
He’s also whispering I Peter 3:4 to my heart. “Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” I am not a quiet spirit. That’s why I’m such a good attorney and pretty good teacher. I don’t mind being front and center, thinking on my feet and taking whatever anyone wants to throw my way.
But I have a feeling God is most interested in how I handle the wait while He arranges the next steps of my path. So I will try to quiet my spirit. To rest in the knowledge that He is in control, He is the God who makes the impossible possible, and that He loves me so much more than I could ever fathom.
And I will also breath into the embers of expectation. And listen to the whisper that says, “I see you, I care, and I am moving on your behalf.”
Cara Putman has a blog The Law, Books, & Life and plays Jake Tremaine at Scenes & Beans, the character blog for Brandilyn Collins latest release Violet Dawn. She is blessed to live in Indiana with her husband, two children and a very patient dog named Mason.