Confession time! It’s getting harder and harder to rejoice with friends and fellow writers when they receive the “call,” that first book contract, or for that matter their ninth book contract! Years ago I couldn’t rejoice at all. Jealously and longing for my own “news” was all I could see. Then God delivered me of that. Yes, it was God because it’s in my nature to covet, especially when it comes to something I’ve really been dreaming of for a long time, practically all my life.
But I gave my dream to God and trusted him to do what he would with my writing. Problem is, I’m weary and he doesn’t seem to be doing anything with my writing! I’m at the point where I’m feeling so numb and complacent in my writing journey that it’s torture to sit in front of the key board. But here I am 7 am and I’m asking what’s the point?
I asked God that question this morning. What’s the point of all this labor and torture? What’s the point of writing and editing and editing some more? Others seem to crank out a book and get it published on the spot, me, I toil and toil and nothing, nada, no fruit, not even a sprout.
So I asked God for a word. I opened the bible randomly to the Parable of the Talents where a farmer gave his worker money “talents” and the ones that multiplied the talent were given more. The one that hid it was admonished and thrown out! Okay, Lord! I’m trying to multiply my talents, but it ain’t working. So I figure I’d ask God for another word, half believing I’d get one and whalla! Psalm 45. No flipping through the Psalms to find one that applied to my situation. I turned straight to Psalm 45 and read verse one “My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verse for the King, my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer.”
Whoa! First of all, that’s the ACFW verse for the “Noble Theme” writer’s contest, now the Genesis! And Whoa, what’s God trying to tell me? That my writing should be for him and him alone, that I should be doing it for his glory and not worry about the rest? I wish I could. I wish I could. But it doesn’t seem to be enough to keep me writing past this current WIP. What’s the point of writing if no one ever reads my words? Some days it’s just too hard. Yet, I’ll keep toiling until I can’t any longer because my heart is stirred by a noble theme…