Self Doubts
As I sit here trying to put the finishing touches on my one sheets and sample chapters I am filled with an overwhelming doubt in my call and abilities as a writer.
What brought this on? Well, besides the scramble and the stress and pressure to make everything perfect, I realized that the momlit I’m brainstorming may not really be a momlit, but women’s fiction. So I’m confused as to how to present this WIP at the conference.
And then there’s the everyday reminder of how many awesome writers there are in the blogosphere. Other blogs have hundreds of subscribers and comments. Their storytelling far surpasses mine in the arena of humor, while mine tends to be on the heavy side, and that’s when I question myself.
Should I be going to this conference at all?
Will I make a fool of myself thinking I can write?
Will editors roll their eyes and chuckle behind my back after they read my stuff?
Am I even prepared to talk with an editor or agent after 6 months of not writing?
Am I fooling myself into thinking that just because I like what I write others will also?
So many doubts all of a sudden rising seemingly out of nowhere. I’ve always had confidence in my call and my ability to write. I don’t think I’m doubting that. But I guess I’m doubting whether I’m good enough to stand out in the crowd of all the great writers at the conference and here on the web.
I know God is not interested in the numbers. And it is up to Him to promote my writing. All I have to do is be obedient to the call and write. Whether He uses me to touch one or one hundred, it really shouldn’t matter. Either way I God will be glorified.
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September 17th, 2006 at 7:37 pmI doubt so much that I can barely right at all - I don’t have a problem behind the anonimity of my blog, but I’m frozen right up on my “real” writing. Good for you for being brave.
And hey, who wants hundreds of readers? From what I can tell, that results in just as many hate letters as fan mail! Who wants that?
That’sexactly it. If it touches one person, if He needs it to speak to one person, then it is worth it. He has a plan. Pray for wisdom, then act on what He shows you, knowing He has promised.
September 17th, 2006 at 8:21 pmThe fact that He called you, and you are obeying, puts you where you are supposed to be. Don’t be anxious for anything!
I wish I could be there and meet you and all the other wonderful people from ACFW. (BIG FROWN) Sigh, maybe next year.
September 17th, 2006 at 10:13 pmGina, I think you are a great writer. I’m proud of you for having the guts to pursue your writing. I am exhausted thinking of what you’ve put into it - I certainly could not juggle all the hats you wear without dropping most of them! Your “One or a hundred” attitude is very biblical, and it is a great reminder to me Who I’m seeking to please in what I do, too. Thanks.
September 18th, 2006 at 8:54 amGina, don’t look at the road God has other people on. I always trip myself up when I do that. But simply look at YOUR road. Satan is whispering lies into your head. Don’t listen to him.
September 18th, 2006 at 11:38 amThank you for expressing my doubts about the conference and meeting with editors and all that jazz. My excuse: it’s my first time. I’m expected to not impress.
September 18th, 2006 at 12:06 pmThanks everyone for your encouraging words. Every now and then the doubts rise up, and getting that little extra encouragement helps put them in their place faster!
September 18th, 2006 at 12:09 pmJust pray and let God lead you in the right direction!
I really enjoy stopping by your blog btw…feel free to stop by mine as well!
Jessica
September 18th, 2006 at 12:57 pmhttp://dhost.info/jessicascorner