Welcome author mom Kristin Billerbeck to Portrait of a Writer…Interrupted.

Kristin, tell us a little about your family and your call to write.

I’m married to the engineer sort and we have four kids; three boys and one girl. I totally consider myself a boy mom since I was raised around so many, so I’m learning about the world of princesses. Writing is something I do in my sleep, it’s just so ingrained in me. When God’s not in it, it shows, what can I say?

How do you balance being a mom, wife, and writer?

If you ask my kids’ teachers, probably not very well. LOL I’m allergic to homework — I wasn’t great at doing my own, so with the four of them in one of the most competitive area…well, I learn to say I’m not perfect a lot. Scheduling is really key though. When I’m not creative, I try not to waste time at the computer. I hit the grocery stores early Saturday morning before soccer, do laundry while I’m writing and I usually stay up later than I should to decompress and get some “we” time. But I think the writing makes me better all the way around because I have a creative outlet. Oh, and someone cleans my house.

Do you think it’s possible to give yourself fully to raising children, writing and keeping in shape?

I’m a big advocate of taking care of yourself. In the early years with my babies, I was terribly sick with M.S. Now, if I start to feel run down, I schedule a morning at the Spa. Yes, that may sound spoiled, but I know if I overdo it, this body shuts down, so I pay attention to it and listen. As far as staying in shape, that’s a priority to my husband, so I make it my priority. I work my day around my iced mocha, but other than that, I can take or leave most fattening things, and I cook healthy because my husband appreciates that. Two vegetables on his plate and he’s a happy man.

We all do what is important to our husbands. Mine doesn’t care if someone else cleans the house, so I just let that one go. I’m where I need to be, and not guilty over the rest. I’ve been very anti-hydrogenated oils since first diagnosed with MS (the body doesn’t process them like normal fats) so I’ve raised my kids without most packaged snacks and I think that’s helped us all around the house.

The one time I did really gain weight was during our stay in the country. Naturally, that’s when I went on the Today Show. God has a sense of humor.

We’ve also backed off from the processed foods and hydrogenated oils for behavior reasons and I really do see a different in my kids ability to focus better at homeschooling when they eat healthy.

What do you do to encourage yourself during those stormy days every writing mom has?

I quit writing. I’ve heard from too many writer-moms not to miss out. I schedule my deadlines far enough out where I don’t have to. I’m a working mom, there’s going to be guilt, but like all Moms, I’m doing the best I can. Dr. Laura always says ALL moms should be home. I don’t believe that. I am home, but I believe I’m best serving my God in this capacity. I am not the domestic type, but I do my best.

Do you ever feel like you’re neglecting your children when you write?

You know, we have worked out a schedule. When they were little, it was from one to three. When they stopped napping, I told them that time was “mommy time” and they had to keep themselves busy. Kids have so many needs, and we can’t meet them all. I think it’s good to know your limits. Being sick taught me a lot of this by default.

If you do feel your priorities slipping, what do you do to get back on track?

You can tell if your family is neglected. They’re sorting through laundry baskets for socks and feeling like strangers to you. I want to KNOW my kids, know when they’re hurting, who their friends are, etc. If I’m getting off, I make a point to rein it back in by family time. Again, the schedule helps. We have family dinner every single night and at 8 p.m., we come together for family time — be it a game or a TV show (they love Wife Swap). It’s been a hard year with a move, my husband going back to work and the kids in their new/old schools. There was a month where I wrote nothing.

How do you position yourself to HEAR God’s voice when all the noises of life are swirling around you?

Honestly? That’s one of the reasons I’ll schedule a spa treatment when the world gets too noisy. In my house, someone is talking ALL the time. God speaks to me in so many ways. I’m one of those people He has to slap upside the head here and again, but I want to do His will and tell Him so. When something is more difficult than usual, I ask questions. Am I off? Are my priorities screwed up? I immediately go to the Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. These books calm me and remind me about His wisdom vs. my own.

I think one of the biggest ways He speaks to me is through the gift of empathy. Which can also be a curse. But I can feel people’s pain when they tell me something, I want to walk through it with them, and when I get calloused to things like this, I know I’m off and have to reconnect with Him. I think that’s why I love the Silicon Valley so much. Everyone is living the lie, trying to attain perfection, be the smartest, best, healthiest, etc. And yet, there’s so much pain, and if you only open your heart a little, God shows you the needs. That kind of noise is often where He speaks to me and tells me to get busy.

Did you ever feel like you’ve “missed” God in regards to writing, that maybe you should be doing something else?

I have always tried to be humble in writing. To sit back and wait on Him to ask me to the front of the table if He wants me to go. If He says it’s over tomorrow, I can deal with that, because I know Who it’s about. He will always give me something else to do. I think in the pursuit of publication, one really has to find their humility. I hear so many new authors thumb their nose at certain types of writing or publishing, and if God wants to hone your gift, you have to be willing to go where He has you.

When do you find the time to write, and how do you handle interruptions in your writing life?

I’m quite certain I’m ADD — though I have no official diagnosis, I have no attention span either. I can actually leave off mid-sentence and get started the next day where I left off. I learned living in the country (which I HATED!!!) that God is so in control. Nothing you do can fight against that, so when interruptions happen, you have to stop and say, okay, God wants me here right now. I lived a year with no phone and it taught me a lot about contentment.

Tell me about how you got your first “writing break.”

My first writing break was Tracie Peterson picking me out of the slush pile at Heartsongs, and giving the manuscript to Rebecca Germany, who helped me hone it into something publishable.

What do you write and why this genre?

I write because I absolutely love words and books. I love the power of story. I write chick lit because it embodies all aspects of womanhood. I have a real heart for young women and want to reach out through fiction.

Tell me a about your recent contracts and up coming releases.

Calm, Cool & Adjusted has just released from Integrity Publishers. It’s the last in the Spa Girls trilogy and the story of Poppy, a fun, but obsessive-compulsive chiropractor with a health fetish.
My next book is set to release next year and it’s called Split Ends and chronicles the life of a young Beverly Hills hairstylist to the stars.

What do you hope to accomplish through your novels?

I want women to know they are not alone and they don’t have to be perfect because nothing can separate them from the love of God.

What advice would you give to writing moms?

Keep writing. Keep reading. Keep a schedule, even if it’s not exact, it’s better to build the expectations among your kids that Mommy time is important, just as their playtime is.

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Just that having small children is exhausting. I always heard mothers say, “Oh, it only gets worse as they get older. Their problems just get bigger!” I’m here to tell you, I don’t think that’s true. A pained sixth grader tells you what’s the matter, a colicky baby just makes you want to pull your hair out. Take time for you during those years, you’ll all be better for it. And lose the guilt, you’re doing the best job you can. Not everyone is Mrs. Cleaver.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and wisdom with us!

Wisdom? Not sure about that. LOL

For a review of Calm, Cool and Adjusted visit Writer…Interrupted!

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