Sh! My One Little Secret!
I am who I say I am. A writing mom of 4 who struggles with balancing my career while raising a family.
Aside from a couple of name changes on this blog, ever word of it is true, straight from my heart and often times brutally honest. I’ve never been one to hide my feelings…when I write.
I may seem like an organized, extrovert, out in cyberspace, but the internet can be deceiving. I’m an introvert at heart who freaks at social events. I’d rather stay home in the safe confines of my own little world then venture out to a party or church function. And don’t even step foot into my house right now. I have several different projects going on in several rooms, none of them nearing completion. In all honesty, it looks like a bomb exploded in these rooms. Nothing like the neat and organized websites I manage!
I thought about attending some of the real life “blog gatherings” before, but I’m afraid I’d be terribly dull, like this blog at times:) I would probably not measure up to my readers expectations. Feeling insecure, I’d most likely cower in a corner or say something incredibly stupid or inappropriate to hide my nervousness. Then when everyone wrote about their fun experience meeting all the online bloggers, I’d probably be overlooked. People might even wonder if I was actually there.
But I’m learning to be okay with my place in this world. Just like my blog, I’m not overly popular. I’m not very good at small talk, and feel incredibly awkward in group settings, with one exception.
Writing Conferences.
I seem to wiggle out from under my shell at these gatherings. Though still not comfortable in group settings, I manage to forge a place for myself and at times appear outgoing. There’s something about being in my element that brings out my confidence, and I think that’s where I lose my inhibitions and begin to shine.
I know without a doubt I was born to write. Though I have no idea how it will all play out in my life, I am confident in the fact that I am a writer, whether I get that illusive book contract or not.
So maybe I was wrong. Maybe I am who you think I am.
An honest writer trying to journey through this life, and stumbling along the way, getting lifted by my wonderful real life and online friends.
Or maybe I’m an FBI informant in the witness protection program living in Ma…
Wait, I did say I had ONE little secret!
Who do YOU think I am?
This post was written in response to Darlene Schachts’ challenge and Allison Bottke’s Blog Tour. And special thanks to Art Bookbindery for donating an iPod Shuffle to the winner of this contest!.
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LOL, that’s funny! You and I sound a lot alike. I’d much rather stay home too, and I can’t do smalltalk to save my life. But when I’m in my element (we’ll see whether or not “my element” is a writers conference) I can be fun. I think. Anyway, I believe you are who you say you are:)
August 31st, 2007 at 7:31 amLOL, I’m the same way. I can talk up a storm online, but I’m lost in real life unless I’m with family or longtime friends!
BTW, there’s a Mr. Linky up at Ms. Schachts’ blog that you can add your post to.
August 31st, 2007 at 7:43 amNow that’s a very cool way to go about sharing a side of yourself with us. Thanks for revealing your secret…or two.
Blessings,
August 31st, 2007 at 11:46 amElisa
I’m very trusting, so I believe you are who you say you are! Great site!
August 31st, 2007 at 12:30 pmI’m very much like you–meeting new people makes
August 31st, 2007 at 2:12 pmme very anxious and uncomfortable. But you’re right,
there’s just something about writers’ conferences that
allows me to put myself forward, talk to people I’ve
never met before, and feel confident doing it. I think
it stems from the knowledge that not only am I
surrounded by people who understand what it means when
I say, “I’m a writer,” but also from the knowledge
that most of the other people there are also introverts!
what a fun, FUN post!
August 31st, 2007 at 4:05 pmAwww such a nice secret! How sweet! Sadly mine is not so sweet!
August 31st, 2007 at 10:56 pmWonderfully transparent post, Gina. Love your blog and your honesty.
Oh, and don’t know if it’s a joke or not, but the Spanx comment is absolutely hilarious. Is that the secret? LOLOL!
If anyone uses those, tell me how they work. LOL! I NEED some. He he he.
You sound like someone who would be a joy to know and a blessing to be friends with.
Hugs,
August 31st, 2007 at 11:07 pmCheryl
ROFL!!!
I love your secret. I can totally relate. The funny thing is, I read it because I was chatting online with one of my writing buddies and she told me I had to read it because it sounded so much like us! And she’s right.
I remember the first conference she and I roomed together at- we were both so nervous about bringing our online friendship face to face, and yet we got along famously. We’ve roomed together twice now, and I’m so glad I’ve got an introverted dork friend I can hang out with at conferences.
And now I know there’s another one out there. But maybe you’re not as big of a dork as my friend and I.
August 31st, 2007 at 11:09 pmHey! I know the introvert in me hides itself behind the facade I present when I am out in public. So, never fear. You are not alone in your fears. My problem is I overindulge by covering up my fears and nervousness by talking too much when I am facing them, therefore making me seem as though I am more confident than I really am. I would probably seek you out and talk your ear off. “Diarrhea” of the mouth is a terrible syndrome that has cast me from those who feel secure in their surroundings. And, I am not very popular because of this. I think I am overeager to impress others. But, in reporting, I have learned to quell my desire to “explode” with all that is Jennie McGhan and gained a better understanding of how to listen. Unfortunately, that seems to only work when I am in “work mode.” Hmmmm…Well, I hope you have learned I am an honest writer also.
August 31st, 2007 at 11:50 pmGlad to find out there are other moms out there like me. Our houses could be twins.
Michelle
September 1st, 2007 at 10:08 amI have thought about these same things! ANd I have come to the point that My GOD is big enough to take care of everything and anyone that means me harm. Worst case scenario..you are a huge man escaped from prison and reading christian blogs..that may be very good! LOL either way, I do love Jesus. and i am very glad to happen upon your writings! princess to princess…come visit some time!
September 1st, 2007 at 10:28 amI think you’re an incredibly warm, big-hearted, Italian woman whom I can’t wait to meet in real life…someday! I think a lot of us writer-mom’s struggle with the same issues whether they be guilt or self-esteem…
I’m a people person, not shy at all unless I feel really intimidated. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the writer’s conferences I’ve attended though, so can only imagine what I’ll be missing out on in a few weeks with the ACFWers! :O( Next year!
September 1st, 2007 at 11:27 amSometimes I wonder if perhaps the website reflects the person we long to be rather than the unfinished work that we are. Our insecurities hold us back so much, don’t they? I have always said that my biggest problem is that i can’t express myself verbally the way I want too. It never comes out as well as the thoughts in my head, but the blog lets me take my time, and get my thoughts out properly.
September 1st, 2007 at 11:29 amOh my, I can relate. I’m much more relaxed with people online, I guess because they can’t really “see” me. However, once a person IRL gets to know me, they do see the real me… Thanks for sharing!
September 1st, 2007 at 11:59 ami enjoyed reading about your secrets. =D thanks for sharing.
September 2nd, 2007 at 9:48 pmYou had me intrigued so I had to come and read the rest of it.
September 7th, 2007 at 7:36 amGlad to hear that your secret wasn’t about you being a horrible
person. Your post shows that you are human and you have your little
quirks just like everyone else. And I think that your little secret
is actually a very common secret for alot of women. I for one
am not an outgoing person at all. I think I can hold my own sometimes
but to actually strike up a conversation with a stranger is not my
thing. My friends are made through my hubby. Other than the ones online.
But since I can’t see them, I know they are there, but than again there not
there. If you know what I mean.
Anyways thanks for sharing more about you.