Due to too much time blogging and not writing time restraints, I’m getting more choosy in the books I’m featuring here on Portrait. When I got an invite to participate in the blog tour For Parents Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa A. Rice, I almost passed it up. But it was this that caught my eye:

Shaunti Feldhahn is known for unlocking the mysteries of relationships for men and women. Now she turns to a parent’s relationship with a child, particularly a child of the opposite sex. Drawing on the results of a nationwide survey of kids and teenagers, she explores questions such as:

• What do moms need to understand about the “tough and tender” boy who values respect over love?

• What do dads need to understand about their daughter’s need for affirmation?

• What are the six biggest pet peeves teens have about their parents?

Understanding the answers to these and other important questions can help parents make the holidays a time of celebration and unity, not strife and friction.

For Parents Only offers a unique look into a child’s mind and frees readers to communicate in healthier ways as they discover that understanding their kids may not be as complicated as they think.

What parent couldn’t use this book? And I’m giving away two copies to the mom or dad who can convince me why they need this book more than anyone else! So don’t be shy!

 

For Parents Only

by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa A. Rice

 

MY REVIEW:

For Parents Only is a fun looking book, small enough to fit in your purse or computer bag. I was immediately drawn to the bright colors and fun photo, but it’s what’s inside that really impressed me.

The authors don’t claim to be experts in child psychology, but what they do offer is the insight they learned from interviewing hundreds of teens and preteens. Many of us have forgotten what it’s like to be a teenager, Shaunti and Lisa help us remember.

I’m not through the book yet, but what I love about it is you can read it in really short snippets, like waiting in line to pick up your kids from school, or waiting in the car at football practice, or waiting at dance lessons, etc.

So far the thing that stands out to me in this book is that kids don’t really mean to be rebellious or go against their parents, they just want to do what they want to do. And most of it stems from wanting freedom. As a Christian mom of a 13 year old, it got me thinking. How can I give my child the freedom he craves?

I also learned this interesting fact. “The frontal lobe of the brain-the area that allows for judgment of consequences and the control of impulses-doesn’t fully develop until after the teen years.” That statement alone has helped me not “go off” on my teen several times this week!

Needless to say, it’s a great little book that packs a lot of meat. Definitely worth sinking your teeth into! And I’m giving away two copies! Just let me know why you want/need this book!

To purchase the book go to Amazon.com: For Parents Only

Shaunti Feldhahn is the author of For Women Only and numerous other books, with sales totaling nearly one million copies. A nationally syndicated newspaper columnist and public speaker, Feldhahn earned her master’s degree at Harvard University. She and her husband, Jeff, have two young children. Lisa A. Rice is the associate editor of Christian Living magazine, the mother of two teenage girls, and a screenwriter and producer.

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Grace started taking gymnastics when she was three, but it was a nightmare just getting her into class. I was still homeschooling the boys (the were at PE during this time) and I really wanted to take advantage of the workout room for parents. I would never know if she’d “let go of me” and go to class. Sometimes I would sit in the class, sometimes the teacher would take her from me. After some time we decided it wasn’t working for either of us. I didn’t even sign her up the following year, then this year she asked to go back.

She’s been in class with girls at least two years older (and up) than she is and she’s doing great. Her coach is really proud of her. He’s had all my boys and this is the first time he’s really taken the time to talk with me after class. He’s impressed with the fact that though she is younger than the girls, she is really trying to get the skills.

Though we’ve run into days where she just freezes and doesn’t try a skill, we now know it’s because she’s really not sure how to do the routine. I’ve told her just to ask the teacher to help and she does. Mr. T is really impressed with her and sees a lot of potential in her.

Timmy was really worried about starting school, mainly because I would complain that he wouldn’t sit still and pay attention while homeschooling. He was really afraid of being sent to the principals office. He’s been in school for several months now and he loves it! He’s having so much fun with his new best friend and when I asked him if he misses me at school he said, “no, because I don’t really think about you. I’m too busy. But if I think about you I miss you.”

Timmy loves to be the teacher’s helper. He’s always volunteering for jobs. He says he has eight, though I’m sure I won’t be able to name them all. There’s the bathroom monitor (he tells on people when they break the bathroom rules), he’s the pencil sharpener, the anti-bacterial gel squirter, the Damian monitor (a boy in his class needs help with stuff at times), and several others I forget.

The other day while waiting for my other boys, Mrs. Hale, Timmy’s teacher, leaned over and said “Timmy is so cute. He’s such a joy and I look forward to seeing him everyday.”

What mother wouldn’t be proud of these kids?!?

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Grace did so well having her teeth cleaned. Watching Sponge Bob on the TV (in every room) was a HUGE help, but she would have done great without it!

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I can’t believe this week is tech week for Chris (Peter) and Joey (Edmond.) When I invited my sister to the show I told her it was in two to three weeks. Boy was I wrong! Opening night is in two days!

Time really has flown, mostly because we’ve been carpooling with three other families and I’ve only been down to the theatre a couple of times. Plus, Joey and Timmy have had football games a couple of nights a week. Last week was their last games! I thought we’d have a little bit of a break, but things are picking up again with the boys’ rehearsals on Monday and Tuesday of this week and then performances on Thurs.- Sunday of this week and then Fri-Sunday of next week.

I’ll be busy the rest of the week but will try and put up some photos of the play. In the mean time, if you’d like a glimpse at last year’s show when Chris was Edmond, check out my sidebar under the category “It’s Show Time!” I’m sure there’s a photo or two!

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It took me a while to get this program installed because I’ve been busy with the holidays and for some reason it had trouble finding the page when I used Firefox, but it worked in Internet Explorer. Go figure! I’m not a computer genius, but I finally got it installed.

My husband said it was a HUGE file which to me translates TONS of information! I’ve played around with the Math section and though I have no clue about math nowadays, the program seems simple enough with a “Math tool box” which contains categories like the Equation Solver, Formulas and Equations, Triangle Solver and Unit Conversion Tool. Just click on a category and everything you need to solve your problem is there. Though Parents BEWARE. I can definitely see this as a homework DOER not just as a HELPER. When I played with it in front of Chris, my 7th grader, he reprimanded me for CHEATING by finding the answer to a made up equation.

Math isn’t the only thing Microsoft Student has. It’s contains all the subjects your children study in school like science, history, geography, languages, writing and a place for fun learning. Though it seems geared for junior high and high school, my 5th grader looked up the explorers he’s been studying at school and they were there all nicely packaged with photos and links to other information.

Chris especially liked the 3D tour of an ancient tomb and castle. If it wasn’t bed time he would have “played” on the computer a little longer. I can see Joey, my 5th grader, using this just for fun! He’s my little sponge. He can never get enough information and I can’t seem to keep him supplied with the answers. The next time he asks a question I will feel great about telling him to look it up online. Microsoft Student makes it easy and fun with all the subjects and information at a glance.

I even found some fun games my kindergartener and second grader can use. I tried to assemble an insect and got it wrong. I’ll have to ask my little ones to help me next time!

My children haven’t had to spend a whole lot of time on line searching for information, but this will definitely help them when they do. Last time my son was looking for information on someone in history several links popped up that were not appropriate for him to see, including a photo! The guy he was looking up seemed to have the same name as someone in recent news. With the Microsoft student software and Encarta Online Encyclopedia, I won’t have to worry about my children stumbling upon things they shouldn’t when they’re using the Internet for school.

Here are what others are saying!

“As our teens trek home with increasingly heavy homework loads, we sometimes feel helpless as they tackle advanced assignments late into the night. After sports, school, or music practice, junior high and high school homework can be a daunting task, and we parents cannot always be a dependable resource (I can’t remember the last time I had to do algebra!). For your teens, Microsoft Student offers a perfect solution to this parental dilemma.”

As Mom Expert Rachel Hamman has said, “If only a tool like this existed when I was in school! Microsoft Student is an amazing homework aid, which sets itself apart from anything out there. It provides my daughter with tutorials on math, science and foreign languages. If you are like me, it’s been a few years since you’ve done quadratic equations or solved for “x” and this product fills in when your own knowledge is not adequate. The program also provides templates for creating comprehensive presentations. Microsoft Student utilizes Encarta Online Encyclopedia, which has links to 25,000 prescreened, age-appropriate websites, where I can rest assured that I’m getting factual and accurate information. Microsoft Student has allowed my daughter to spend less time seeking for information and enables her to spend more time learning!”

We’ve only started using it at our home, but I have a feeling the boys will be fighting over using it. In fact, this would have been awesome to have while homeschooling! So all you homeschoolers out there, go and check it out. But remember to use Internet Explorer if the link comes up wrong when you click on the Microsoft Student with Encarta link!

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Visit the November Carnival of Christian Writers at

Writer . . . Interupted!

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Today I stayed home while my husband took the kids to church. I needed the solitude. The peace and quiet that comes with an empty house. I was on people overload yesterday at my sister’s house and saw my attitude and patience spiraling down, quickly. So before we even arrived home last night, I knew I wasn’t going to church.

I thought I was going to sleep in and catch up on all the sleep I’ve missed over the last few days, but my body clock woke me faithfully at 7:30, though I stayed in bed an hour hoping to fall back asleep. Didn’t happen. So I got up and helped my hubby get the children ready.

Now the house is quiet and the praise music is on and I’m going about my post travel clean up and laundry, enjoying the peace and though my nose isn’t buried in my Bible, my heart is open and ready to hear.

And maybe, now that the house is quiet, I will!

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From what I can tell so far, The Kindle is the newest high tech rage in reading books that might actually replace the printed book some day. I just started reading about it and several editors are posting on it. It looks like a cool and convenient gadget.

Want to read a book by Thomas Nelson? They have over 600 available and it’s ready at a click of a button without wireless or wires. (Not sure if there’s a monthly fee or not) I’m still trying to figure it out, but I won’t be running out to buy one. For one thing it’s out of stock at Amazon (who seems to get a kick back for every book you download, but don’t quote me on that) and two, at $399 it’s out of my budget. Though it would really help declutter my shelves.

It’s got me thinking. Is this this where books are heading?

Read all about it and let me know what you think!

Mike Hyatt: WhyTraditional Books Will Eventually Die

More on Kindles

Chip MacGregor on Kindles

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As I’ve mentioned before, it’s my birthday…month. And for my birthday I’m giving away books to the winner of this party game!

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glitter-graphics.com

Whether you’re spending a quiet holiday by yourself, or are surrounded by family and friends, don’t forget to give thanks!

Here are some of the things I’m thankful for:

Spending this holiday with family

My health and the health of the ones I love

Funny, creative kids and a hard working husband

The gift of writing and the freedom to pursue it

Staying home with my children

My friends I’ve met through this blog!

What are you thankful for:

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They say be careful what you wish for. And whoever THEY are they’re right.

For the past fifteen years we haven’t had family in town. When the kids were young and we had only one or two, we’d fly to grandma’s for the holidays. Then came number three and four and we drove to see family for the holidays. Not every holiday, but we made the trek, some years 24 hours in the car (with a pit stop half way at my inlaws).

It was fun and exhausting all at once. When the kids got older we started staying home more for the holidays, especially Christmas. Lugging dozens of presents across country was no fun!

Though for the past ten years we’ve been alone for Thanksgiving. There was a couple of years we invited college students over for a big meal, but then the mentor program ceased and so did our big turkey dinners.

Some years following I’d go all out and make the traditional feast, some years we’d trek to our local tourist town and take in a Christmas show. Last year it looked something like this: 

Not very appetizing, I know and it wasn’t. I was slightly depressed about the holidays, wishing for the days of my youth where all the aunts, uncles and cousins would gather at grandma’s house. I missed those days and wanted them for my children.

Well, my wish may come true from here on out, and I’m not sure how excited I am about it. (Actually, this year I am kind of excited!) My sister and her family moved five hours away and my mom will be moving to my town after Christmas. While I’m thankful to have family so close, it will definitely change the dynamics and lazy days of the holidays.

This year we’ll be visiting my sister for Thanksgiving. It will be fun and will feel like a holiday instead of another day like it has for the last ten years.  I’m happy about that. It’s all the potential stressful holidays to come that I’m not thrilled about!

Are my carefree holidays of the past only a memory? Probably. But did I get what I wished for? Most definitely!

So did I have it good before or are their better holidays ahead? I’d love to hear your holiday/family thoughts.

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I’m using the five star rating and giving a short review of each book I’ve read so far.

*****Nobody by Creston Mapes (Suspense)

This was my first Creston Mapes book and it won’t be my last. The story hooked me from the git go, but it was the character’s voice and struggle that made me love this book. The story is quick paced and full of surprises with the message of how one simple homeless man touched so many lives. Definitely worth reading!

***Widows and Orphans by Susan Meissner (Mystery)
I need to preface this review with “if you’re not a writer you will probably enjoy this book!.” I really wanted to like this book, but I couldn’t get past the over use of “He said, angrily. She said, quietly.” If you’re a writer, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Other than some minor craft issues, the story was enjoyable and kept me reading until the end. I will definitely give this author another go because her Women’s fiction has been highly recommended.

***Briarpatch by Ross Thomas (Mystery)
This book was recommended to me by an agent and is secular with some risky scenes, though not too bad, so caution to CBA readers. I think the agent wanted show me how to write witty dialog. This had plenty of it, though the plot got a bit confusing at times and the ending left me questioning “so who really killed his sister?” I did enjoy the character’s voice and the plot kept me intrigued until the end.

I’m currently reading:

Canteen Dreams by Cara Putman (Historical Romance)

and

Try Dying by James Scott Bell (Suspense)

They weren’t on my original list, but I’m enjoying them!

Up next:

The Trophy Wives Club by Kristin Billerbeck. Can you believe I’ve never read one of her books yet. I have a real aversion to reading books written in present tense first person.

Hollywood Nobody by Lisa Samson

Janet Evanovich

If you’d like to join in visit this post! And look for your chance to win free books!

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Read all about it here!

Then go and read her interview on Portrait here!

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I crafted a really great post on faith early this morning while I was in that half awake state! Unfortunately when I woke up fully, I couldn’t remember what it was about . So here I sit after church, still clueless about what to write so I guess I’ll just babble…

Faith is a funny thing. For me, it’s easy to have faith. To believe in a supreme God, a loving God who sent his son Jesus to die for me. Yet it’s often times hard to live out my faith.

I claim to be a follower of Christ but often times there’s no evidence of my faith, especially in regards to my family. More often I am short tempered, impatient and unforgiving (in the moment.) More often my sin is so obvious and my faith so invisible. More often I go through the motions of life, talking with my God and savior on a daily basis, but rarely letting their influence rub off on my life. Why is that? Am I so thick headed that it’ll take another forty years for me to get through the desert.

I hope not.

Thankfully, God is forgiving and full of Grace. (unlike people and family at times) He meets me where I’m at, and all I can do is repent, move on and pray I’ll do better the next time!

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This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing TRY DYING
(Center Street October 24, 2007)
by
James Scott Bell

 

REVIEW: I really wanted to be more into this book before this blog tour posted, but alas I’m a slow reader! But so far I’m enjoying the book, as much as I enjoyed meeting the author!

James Scott Bell is a former trial lawyer who now writes full time. He is also the fiction columnist for Writers Digest magazine and adjunct professor of writing at Pepperdine University.

His book on writing, Plot and Structure is one of the most popular writing books available today. The national bestselling author of several novels of suspense, he grew up and still lives in Los Angeles, where he is at work on his next Buchanan thriller.

On a wet Tuesday morning in December, Ernesto Bonilla, twenty-eight, shot his twenty-three-year-old wife, Alejandra, in the backyard of their West 45th Street home in South Los Angeles. As Alejandra lay bleeding to death, Ernesto drove their Ford Explorer to the westbound Century Freeway connector where it crossed over the Harbor Freeway and pulled to a stop on the shoulder.

Bonilla stepped around the back of the SUV, ignoring the rain and the afternoon drivers on their way to LAX and the west side, placed the barrel of his .38 caliber pistol into his mouth, and fired.

His body fell over the shoulder and plunged one hundred feet, hitting the roof of a Toyota Camry heading northbound on the harbor Freeway. The impact crushed the roof of the Camry. The driver, Jacqueline Dwyer, twenty-seven, an elementary schoolteacher from Reseda, died at the scene.

This would have been simply another dark and strange coincidence, the sort of thing that shows up for a two-minute report on the local news–with live remote from the scene–and maybe gets a follow-up the next day. Eventually the story would go away, fading from the city’s collective memory.

But this story did not go away. Not for me. Because Jacqueline Dwyer was the woman I was going to marry.

In this fast-paced thriller, lawyer Ty Buchanan must enter a world of evil to uncover the cause of his fiancee’s death–even if hie has to kill for the truth.

“Bell is one of the best writers out there…he creates characters readers care about…a story worth telling.”
~Library Review~

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I gave it a shot. I’ve some really good likenesses on other blogs, no such luck for me. One of my matches was Magic Johnson! Magic Johnson?

Here are some of my best photos. My highest match was 71% so I guess that means I’m not much of a match! Thank goodness!

So do you think like I look like any of them? And what’s up with the Ellen Degeneres and Julia Roberts lookalike? They came up twice?

Is there someone I look like that’s not pictured? Let me know and I’ll do a side by side comparison!

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With no family in town, finding babysitting has always been a hassle for our family. That’s why ten years ago we started the Babysitting co-op. A group of families got together and started swapping babysitting and keeping track of how often each couple went out and watched others. It’s been great for these past ten years, but for some reason as our children have gotten older and busier, it’s getting harder to find families to babysit our kids when we need them to.

Our oldest is just getting to the age where he can watch the little ones for a short time, but we’re still not comfortable with him (and neither is he) watching them for long periods of time at night and teenage babysitters are extremely hard to come by.

So what’s a family to do?

Enter Care.com

It’s an innovative and safe way to find quality babysitting!

I’ve only browsed the childcare/babysitters in my town, but they also have petcare, tutors and senior care givers.

I was happy to find Christian babysitters from churches I’m familiar with. It’s really easy and simple to browse the list of available caregivers. You pick the age, price range and distance (among other things) to find a list that’s compatible with your family needs. Then just browse the bios. References are available and for a limited time care.com is offering this service FREE to my readers for three months. So why not give them a try?

To sign up for three free months visit this link! http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=oIbDBoEmAU0cT1wsoFcmLw_3d_3d

After playing around of Care.com I can say this is just what I needed LAST YEAR, when I was looking for a part-time nanny to come to my home a couple of days a week while I homeschooled. These girls are in my town and I’m familiar with the churches they attend (though not all are Christian). I tried finding quality care through the local universities, but this site makes it so easy!

Here’s what one mom has to say about the service! 

“Just as I signed up for my complimentary subscription, I found myself in my own caregiver panic situation. My long-time babysitter just told me last Monday that she needed to get a full-time job, which I can’t offer her. So I went onto Care.com, found a few people in my area to choose from, and checked out their references. In just a couple of days, I pinpointed someone who matched my family’s needs exactly, interviewed her, and fell in love with her! I’m always nervous about hiring a new babysitter unless she’s been referred by a close friend, but Care.com made me feel completely comfortable that the sitters on the site were pre-approved and qualified. It was easy and convenient, and I’m thrilled with the results.”
~ Dana Hilmer, Mom Central Consulting principal and author of Blindsided By A Diaper

Ready for your FREE trial? Visit this link! http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=oIbDBoEmAU0cT1wsoFcmLw_3d_3d

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If you’re a parent of children who plays video games, then I’m sure you’ve struggled with whether a certain game is appropriate for your child. In years past it was almost impossible to know how violent or inappropriate a game was without sitting down and playing the game with your child.

Things have changed thanks to the ESRB rating system. Similar to the movie rating which guide parents in choosing the movies they allow their children to see, the “ESRB ratings were developed to serve as a guide to help consumers make informed decisions about which games might be appropriate for their children and family. ” Many of you may be familiar with the ratings system which looks like this:

On the front of almost every computer and video game sold today is the lettered ESRB rating symbol suggesting age appropriateness. On the back it describes in detail the rating, and content of concern and the reason for the rating. For more specific information and other answers to the ESRB rating go here.

If you’re unsure about a game your child wants, you can find the ESRB rating for that particular game on the home page of ESRB’s website, which allows you to search by title, rating, content descriptor, publisher and platform. My son is wanting some new games for Christmas. Before I say yes, I’m checking out that link!

While the ESRB rating is a great tool to help protect our children, it’s not the only thing we as concerned parents can do. The ESRB website has an easy step-by-step guide to setting parental control features on the newer game consoles like the Wii, Play Station 3 and XBox 360 to prevent your child from inappropriate games.

My boys recently pooled their money to buy the Wii and with the many sports games I wasn’t too concerned about what they were playing. But now there’s dozens of other games to choose from. The ESRB rating helps me make informed decisions on the games they are allowed to play, but I recently learned the Wii can also be programed to manage what content is accessible to the console users.

I have a 5, 7, 10 and 13 year old playing on the same game system. A game my 13 plays may not be appropriate for his younger siblings. To prevent the younger ones access to that particular game, I can set the Parental Controls to the strictest setting and share the 4 digit PIN code with my oldest so he can have access to his games. This link walks you through setting the Parental Controls on the various game systems. If it wasn’t for this site, I don’t think my kids would have let me know about the Parental Controls on the Wii.

My son also likes to access the Internet on the Wii and I just learned that I can control what websites he visits through the Parental Controls.

Esrb.org provides other helpful tips for parents including resources for family-friendly video games.

Though it’s always important to know what your children are playing, it’s not always realistic that we can sit down and watch every minute of every game play. But it’s good to know the ESRB has these guidelines that make our jobs as parents a little easier and our children’s minds a little more protected from inappropriate content and unnecessary violence.

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When I last wrote I had mentioned I had a really great conversation with Steve Laube, one of the agents who liked my One Sheet in the late night chat and who I had an appointment with the next day. But I didn’t share any details.

There’s not much to share on the writing side of things (yet!) because we didn’t talk WIP. There were several of us starting to gather in the lobby. Randy Ingermanson, Meredith Efken and I had already made ourselves comfortable. I sat in a lone chair and Meredith was on the couch. Then Steve arrived and sat down on the end of the couch which was next to where I was sitting. I can’t remember who struck up the conversation first, but we chatted about lots of things. Our common friend Rene Gutteridge, the time I was supposed to meet him and Rene at a small conference but instead the night before I was to leave, God asked me to give up writing. That led to a conversation about his family, my family, homeschooling, and why I started Writer…Interrupted. His engaging smile and genuine interest in what I was saying made me feel comfortable and like I was talking to an old friend.

Some time during the evening Chip MacGregor showed up and started Tango dancing with Meredith. It might have been during my conversation with Steve, but it was interesting to watch and learn that Chip was a ballroom dance instructor. Talk about your multi-layered character!

While he was dancing and well, being Chip, I thought about when I would have the time to talk with him about my WIP. A friend had referred me to him and we had chatted through email, but every time I saw him he was engaged in a conversation. And I wasn’t about to talk shop with him during the late night lobby chill session, so I just enjoyed the growing camaraderie in the group. I’m not sure what time it was when I started to drift, but I didn’t want to pull myself away from this fun group.

When Chip announced he was calling it a night, I decided to join him in the elevator for the ride up. It was a short three story ride, but with our frazzled brains we managed to squeak out a conversation. He remembered we needed to meet and I had to remind him that he liked my One Sheet in the late night chat. I told him I’d been trying to catch him but every time I saw him he was meeting with someone. He said he was just chatting with people, but I said I didn’t want to “jump on him.” He followed up in typical Chip fashion, “oh, you should have just jumped on me.”

He told me to catch him tomorrow and I did. But that’s another story for another day… and definitely worth waiting for!

If you’re dying to read about the previous ACFW posts, here they are:

ACFW Day One: Living to Tell the Story

Meeting James Scott Bell

ACFW Thursday: Late Night Chat

ACFW: Friday

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Yes, I’ve been that busy, but it is my birthday month! Last year I had a month long celebration on this blog. This year it totally slipped my mind. So if it’s not too late, I’d like you all to celebrate my (GULP) 39th birthday! I’m not really focusing on this year’s celebration because I already have my sites set on when I turn 40! My ultimate dream party would be to rondevu with a bunch of my friends on a cruise next November. Anyone game?

Speaking of games, want to play one? If money wasn’t an object what would you give me for my birthday? And if you were me, how would you spend this year’s birthday! (I’m still debating whether I want to write my weekend away or forget the writing and relax and have fun!)

To the one who gives the most creative, right on the money answer, I’ll give a present to you! Go here for all the rules (not many) and contest whatnots!

Any idea what it is?

Books of course. To be determined after I take a look at my book shelf and see which ones I can part with!

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