Next Time I’ll Have to Think Twice Before I Say…
family stuff is going pretty smoothly so I don’t have much to whine about!:)
Ha!
Today was a really rough day. Just when I thought I was enjoying my teen (with minor exceptions to normal moodiness,) he pushed me back over the edge! Unfortunately my moms says he’s a lot like me at his age. Except I wasn’t as disrespectful as he is. Maybe because deep down we do have a good talking relationship, and he feels he can “share.” Maybe it’s because he’s just thick headed and always thinks he’s right!
It started last night. He did something he thought was justified because it prevented his little sister from invading his privacy. When I asked him to apologize he said, “No, I didn’t do anything wrong.” I disagreed with him and asked him apologize again. He refused again and justified his “wrong” behavior. We went back a forth for about a minute, but instead of engaging in a tirade, I took away his game time with weekend and walked away…angry and disappointed. He had a typical outburst of something to the effect of “Great! No matter what I do you take away my PS2 time.”
Today the subject of his disobedience/defiance/rebellion came up again. He said he’s standing by what’s right, no matter what and it doesn’t matter if I take something away because I’m going to take it away anyway and there’s nothing more that really matters to him.
We talked some more about his disrespect, but he doesn’t see it. He thinks he’s right, and I tried to tell him, that was fine to think he was right, but his choices had consequences, and he had to be willing to live with them. He still doesn’t get it and thinks I’m out to ruin his life. (Doesn’t every teenager?) But what really gets me, what really hurts and brings me to tears is the disrespect and the fact I don’t know what to do about it.
We talked some more and both settled down. I shared my heart about some things, and we ended on a good note. But not a repentive one.
Later his attitude seemed to change, and he came down happy and silly and fun again. But still no apology to me or his sister. So I’m not sure what to do? Do I force him into submission? (Never worked for me as a child or adult.) Do I let it go? Or do I address the issue again?
You know, I think I already know the answer. I should pray. But it’s so hard to do ONLY that. I know I need to let the Holy Spirit do the work. He’s done his job in the past when I let him, but it’s so hard because it hurts so much not only for myself, but I hurt for my son.
To top off this lousy night, I got really made at hubby…but I’ll save that for another post!
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Oh man! I can sooo identify. They’re just sure we’re out to ruin them! It’s often so hard to know how to handle certain situations without breaking their spirit. Sometimes I do think it’s best to correct, discipline, then leave it in God’s hands. I’m with you!
March 4th, 2008 at 10:47 am[…] it Pours it Thunders! In my last whine, I mentioned that I got really mad at hubby. If I hadn’t have had a rough time with my teen […]
March 6th, 2008 at 4:33 amMy grandmother used to say, “When they are small they step on your toes, but when they are older, they step on your heart. Teenage years are so hard, but if it helps any - This too shall pass.
March 7th, 2008 at 9:20 pmThanks Georgiana and Valerie, LOVE your grandma’s saying.
I just keep reminding myself what it was like when I was a teen. BTW, my son apologized to me and my daughter and said later on when he wasn’t so mad he saw that what he did was wrong. I’m not sure if it was because he wanted to play PS2 this weekend or if he was really sorry, but I’m leaning toward the fact that when his emotions settled he could see clearer and the lure of PS2 most likely helped clear his vision.
March 7th, 2008 at 9:26 pm