Writing Mom: Trish Perry
TRISH PERRY lives in
Tell us a little about your family and your call to write.
I have two fantastic kids: my adult daughter, who has grown to be one of my dearest friends; and my teenaged son, who is one of the most grounded Christians I know. I also have a gorgeous grandson from my daughter’s marriage. All three of them crack me up constantly.
And my family has always honored and supported my writing efforts. I started writing seriously twelve or thirteen years ago, while I earned my Psychology degree. The Lord helped me do well with my degree work, and I could tell I was in His will. But mere months before I graduated, I experienced a specific moment when He made clear to me that He wanted me to focus on my writing once I finished my degree. I assumed I would eventually go to grad school and become a counselor, but that wasn’t what He had in mind.
How did you get your first “writing break?”
I have a hard time pinpointing which event was “the” break. But certainly getting that first contract was a huge step, made possible through the efforts of my hardworking agent, Tamela Hancock Murray. I had just finished a spiritual warfare novel and was working on a romantic comedy. Tamela judged a writing contest in which I entered the first three chapters of my new novel. She called the contest organizers and asked who the author was, saying she was interested in representing her. That was the start of a wonderful relationship for me. Within months after I completed my manuscript, Tamela won a two-book contract for me.
What do you write and why this genre?
As I mentioned, my first novel (as yet unpublished) is spiritual warfare. I wrote it because the Lord put that book on my heart first. I actually expect to publish it someday; I think it’s a good story. But I’m sure it needs significant tweaking. My next two books were chick lit, and that’s what I’ve published so far. I was so ready to write something light and fun after that spiritual warfare story, the chick lits came fairly easily to me. I know all about branding, and I’m willing to do whatever I need to do to develop a solid reader base, but I’m also open to other suggestions and ideas from my publishers. I just love writing and would like to do it forever, regardless of the genre.
Do you have any recent contracts and up coming releases?
Yes, my third novel releases July 2008. The title is Beach Dreams, and it involves several characters from my two published novels (The Guy I’m Not Dating and Too Good to Be True). In an interesting twist, the book will release as the third book in the Sally John Beach House series. It’s a contemporary romance with a strong dose of chick lit. Ideally, my readers and Sally’s readers will cross over and discover another author’s works. I must say I’ll get the better end of that crossover, should it happen. Sally has quite a following.
What do you hope to accomplish through your novels?
I never set out with a message in my stories, but themes present themselves through the interactions between my characters. I love that about Christian writing. I think God is behind those theme developments. And it’s such a blessing when a reader writes to me and tells me how a particular facet of my book was exactly what she needed to read at this point in her life.
But what I hope to accomplish when I write is to entertain. As a reader I enjoy a book because the story and the characters make me laugh, cry, or become otherwise emotionally invested in the outcome. I hope to have that effect on readers, too.
And now for the tough questions…
How do you balance being a mom, wife, and writer?
I’m only a mom and a writer at present, which probably makes life a little easier for me than for some other authors. I always put my family before my writing, so when my kids were younger, I didn’t get much writing done. Danielle Steele I ain’t. I remember reading about how she managed to do it all, and I knew her methods would never sit well with me (she said enviously). But now that my kids are older, they need my time less, and they respect and understand my work and what I need to give to it. If I’m under a tight deadline, life simply gets less flexible here at home, and my kids know the rigidity is temporary.
Do you think it’s possible to give yourself fully to raising children, writing, and keeping in shape? If not, which one for you has to take a back seat?
Absolutely not! Well, let’s amend that. If you’re under a crazy enough deadline, chances are you’ll have to put something on hold. Not only can you make yourself crazy trying to accomplish it all, you risk doing a lousy job in all three areas.
You listed the three tasks in exactly the order I would have, if asked to prioritize. As I mentioned above, I sacrificed much of my earlier writing time to raising my kids, and I don’t regret a moment of that. I have phenomenal relationships with my kids, and that doesn’t happen without an investment of time.
If I’m under a tough deadline, I do what I can to stay in shape. But the day’s writing comes before working out. There’s a svelte, well-toned vision of beauty trapped inside this squishy, deadline-reaching writer’s body. I remember what it was like to have a tight tush. Maybe that will happen again some day.
When do you find the time to write, and do you ever feel like you’re neglecting your children when you write?
There was one point a couple of years ago when I felt I wasn’t there enough for my son. I figured it out when he said, “You’re never here when I need you,” or some such subtle comment that just about ripped my heart out. I was also involved with leading a women’s Bible study and singing on the worship team at that time. I dropped out of the worship team and stepped back from a leadership role in the Bible study. Those changes freed up enough time that I was able to write and be there for my son when he needed me. I remember his comment whenever church organizers request volunteers and my hand gets itchy to get on up there. I’ve learned to say no—or to keep my mouth shut—to keep my priorities straight.
How do you handle interruptions in your writing life?
I screen all of my phone calls through my answering machine, and I bring a hard copy of my current project with me if I have to leave the house on an errand. I’m never frustrated waiting in a line at the Post Office, for example, because I work during that time. And I try to group all of my errands together in one day, to minimize time away from the computer. My son is old enough to know when I need to be alone with my work, and I schedule my writing time so that I mostly write when he’s gone, regardless of what time of day or night that might be.
How do you get back into the flow of writing after you’ve been interrupted?
I usually read the tail end of the chapter before my new one, or I read what I’ve done so far on a current chapter. If I don’t fall right into the flow, I literally drop my head into my hand and pray. Sometimes I have to wait awhile, but if I just start hammering away after prayer, not worrying about perfection, the chapter starts to fall into place. Then I go back and clean up what I started with. It’s a little like batting warm-ups. I go back and remove the warm-up.
What do you do to encourage yourself during those stormy days every writing mom has?
I mean this with all my heart: If I ever find myself getting down or stressed about my life or my writing career, I remember Who is running my life and career. I know where my blessings come from. I remind myself that He’ll continue to help me write entertaining books that will occasionally touch a chord for particular readers. That assurance and those rewards are what encourage me.
On a more practical level, when I’m going through a stormy day, writing is a great escape. If I need help to get into my characters’ environment, I find it through movies and books in the same genre as mine. So I’ll watch a movie scene or read a few pages to get into the mood.
How do you position yourself to HEAR God’s voice when all the noises of life are swirling around you?
Every morning, when I’m the only one up, the first thing I do is sit and wait, without praying, just for a few minutes. I usually don’t “hear” anything from God, but I firmly believe He blesses me with thoughts and ideas that emerge later in the day. Sometimes the ideas emerge through the noises of life swirling around me. I hear a comment or see an interaction between two people, and I recognize something that would translate well into my story (or a future story).
But I don’t write full-out in the midst of life’s noises. Many writers talk about writing in the middle of a coffee shop or while listening to mood music. Not me. The noises of life shut my “write” hemisphere down if I have to hear them for long. Earlier I mentioned writing while in line. I’m like Rain Man during those brief periods. I strain to guard my delicate focus, to the detriment of the humdrum events happening around me. I usually have to be prodded out of my characters’ world to do the real-life thing for which I’m in line. If I’m too aware of what’s happening around me, visually or audibly, I simply can’t exist in my characters’ world. And let’s face it, when we write, we should be right there in our fictional worlds, either inside our characters’ hearts or observing them closely. Unless my heroine is facing her conflict in the middle of Starbucks, I’m blown back to reality when I hear a barista yell “Vente-Double-Shot-Soy-Caramel-Macchiato!”
If you do feel your priorities slipping, what do you do to get back on track?
I pray, of course, for guidance. And I determine if I’ve allowed anything to encroach upon my valuable time—isn’t all of our time valuable? Even the time I lounge with my son in front of a silly movie; that’s valuable to me. And, of course, my writing time is valuable. My time with God and my time at church are also valuable. If I find my priorities slipping, there’s usually something extraneous that has to go. After all these years, I know what’s most important in my life. It’s a short list. Everything else is luxury. Sometimes I have room for luxury; sometimes I don’t. Again, it’s a matter of knowing when to say no.
Has there ever been a time God told you to set aside your writing to focus on other areas of your life? If so, how did you handle that?
Certainly. As I mentioned before, I wasn’t able to give much time to my writing when my kids were younger. They were my focus. I simply had to think long-term and accept that the day would come when I could write more than I did then. And it did.
This past year required a hiatus, as well. Within the span of one week, my second book released, my parents both experienced significant health crises, and my husband turned 49, stated he wanted “to start over,” and left us. It didn’t take much prompting from the Lord to get me to step away from my writing for a while. My loving agent, my understanding publishing house, and many dear friends blessed me during that time of transition.
If we continually turn our writing over to the Lord, the experience is an amazing blessing. One of the greatest things about writing is the ability to look back over your efforts of the past week, the past month, or even several years and relive the results of the work you did for Him. And those results are like snapshots of your heart at given points in time. Even when the story is about fictional characters, it tells much about you, too.
Did you ever feel like you’ve “missed” God in regards to writing, that maybe you should be doing something else?
One of my favorite revelations was with regard to this very issue. The day my first book released, I suddenly got nervous. What if my friends hated my writing? What if my family was disappointed by my book? What if I misread God’s guidance?
Within an hour God blessed me by showing me that fear didn’t come from Him. He reminded me of the joy I have in writing. He reminded me that I felt similar joy while pursuing my Psychology degree. And then He reminded me that, rather than His guiding me by making me fail and feel inadequate with my Psychology efforts, He simply drew me toward a desire for writing. When we seek His will, God doesn’t guide us by crushing us. He guides us by drawing us. I know as long as I feel this joy in writing, I’m in His will. If He ever wants me doing something else, he’ll lovingly draw me there.
What advice would you give to writing moms who are have their hearts set on publication?
If you feel the kind of joy I just described, just hang in there. Don’t fret about the time that passes you by while you do the mom thing. The mom thing is the most important thing I’ve ever done in my life. Write when you can and know that easier writing times will come.
I have always felt blessed that the Lord didn’t give me a contract while my children were very young. My contract came once my kids understood the time I needed to devote to my writing. He knows when you’ll be able. When your family will be able. Trust Him.
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