Introducing a wonderful mom, writer and friend. Tina and I got to know each other through email, both of us writing against a deadline and asking for prayer. Then I got to meet her at ACFW and heard her testimony for the first time, and was immediately taken to her sweet and honest spirit. Her writing, mothering thoughts have greatly inspired and challenged me and I know they’ll bless you!
Welcome Tina Forkner!
Tell us a little about your family and your call to write.
I think the politically correct term to call us is still “Blended.” If you’ve heard of Sandy Patti’s book, Life in the Blender, that’s us, but we only have three kids. As for my call to write, I’ve felt it since I was a little kid.
Tell me a about your recent contracts and up coming releases.
I recently signed my first two-book contract with Waterbrook Press, a division of Random House. The first book, Ruby Among Us, is a contemporary women’s fiction novel dealing with intergenerational relationships between mothers and daughters and is tentatively due out next year. I’m excited about this book, which explores the dual nature of God’s permissiveness and providence in the lives of its characters.
What do you do to encourage yourself during those stormy days every writing mom has?
Pray desperately. Really! My husband is also a huge encouragement to me. He nudges me out of bed every morning on time because he knows that once kids are around, I won’t be able to concentrate.If I really need a break from writing, I will take the kids to breakfast or talk my husband into being lazy and drinking morning coffee with me. It’s a good way to get him to goof off. Those left-brainers are too serious sometimes.
Do you think it’s possible to give yourself fully to raising children, writing, working full time, and keeping in shape?
Absolutely. I really do. Except for the keeping in shape part.I think it’s a matter of priorities and making sure our families comes first, and then having the confidence to filter out all the garbage we hear that makes us feel guilty.
How do you balance being a mom, wife, and writer?
You would have to ask my husband and kids, but I pray a lot. I also try to stay organized, but am not very good at it. Here’s a tip to share with moms. Recently I came up with a plan for dinners. I made up several meals and froze them for later in the month. Now my mom is getting into it and sending me all kinds of four step recipes that are fast, as well as ideas about what freezes well. At least I feel more prepared this month. And last week when I was asked to provide a meal for a family in need, I was able to pull it out of the freezer and take it over. That was fun, because normally I would say no to something like that due to time constraints. Does anyone else have good links or tips to share with all of us about bulk or simple cooking?
How do you position yourself to HEAR God’s voice when all the noises of life are swirling around you?
I’m not really the kind of person who sits around listening for the voice, but I try to be in tune with Him in everything I do. It’s so easy for me to get caught up doing everything my way, so I have to check in often and make sure I’m not taking the whole world on my shoulders when I don’t have to. Sometimes it helps to just take a walk and get away from everything.
If you do feel your priorities slipping, what do you do to get back on track?
Cry. It really helps for awhile. But then I start cutting things out. My husband is very good about setting priorities, so he encourages me to say no often and I take his advice! I can take on short-term commitments with the kids’ school, church, etc., but everything else I say no to. I have to because writing is a job, even if it’s a fun one.
Has there ever been a time God told you to set aside your writing to focus on other areas of your life? If so, how did you handle that?
Yes, temporarily. That would have been when I was a single mom. That probably explains it all. But even when I wasn’t writing, I was always thinking about it.
Did you ever feel like you’ve “missed” God in regards to writing, that maybe you should be doing something else?
No, never. But I have felt that I have “missed” God inside of my writing. It’s been hard to figure out how to write about faith. In more recent years, my personal faith journey has really started to show up in my work.
When do you find the time to write, and do you ever feel like you’re neglecting your children when you write?
Typically my husband nudges me out of bed at 5am and I’m in my office by 5:30 (most mornings). I write until 7:30am when it’s time to do the mom thing. After the morning school drop off, I have a little over an hour to write more before I go to work outside of my home. I devote evenings to family and rarely write at night, but yes I sometimes feel like I’m neglecting my children by working, whether writing or outside of the home. But logically, I know I am not.
It’s very hard to find a supportive system sometimes, but there are many folks out there who support us moms who have other “work” to do in addition to raising our children. Writing can be especially difficult because it’s so creative and requires lots of emotional stamina. This site, Mom Interrupted, is a great place to find encouragement, as is the site www.momsatwork.org. There is a great article at the Moms @ Work site about a gal named Cheri Kaufman. She isn’t a writer, but the way she manages her time is really inspiring (she also sort of looks like me. LOL).
How do you handle interruptions in your writing life?
I’ll assume you mean day to day. I don’t answer my phone and I am learning to keep the internet off while I’m writing. But when the kids knock on the door, I see to their needs because if not, they’ll just keep coming back.
How do you get back into the flow of writing after you’ve been interrupted?
Sometimes the time is gone and I just shut everything down. Sometimes I read a book because after all, it is work! The most effective way is to have my husband run interference while I sit back down and start pecking at the keys.
Tell me about how you got your first “writing break.”
Well, it was obviously what they call a “God thang.” I got in contact with my agent through a relative and the day he called and asked if he could represent me was an exciting day. He did all the work and when the initial call about my book contract came, I was at work. I borrowed the Executive Conference room, hoping my boss (the CEO!) wouldn’t walk in at that moment. I was supposed to be answering his phone! The call was surreal and I tried to play it cool, but inside I was turning cartwheels. There were a few more big calls before things were official. The moment I put pen to paper I was at home with my husband. That is when we both knew it was real.
What do you write and why this genre?
I write fiction about women. I choose to write in this genre because I’m interested in interactions and relationships between women, especially intergenerational.
My mom has four sisters, plus all her sisters-in-law, so maybe growing up around all that
estrogen is what shaped my genre.
What do you hope to accomplish through your novels?
Oh goodness. I don’t know. I think that if someone reads one of my novels and realizes they are still ok, or that they can still be accepted by God, I would be happy. I hope people can identify with my characters, even if it’s on a deeper level they won’t ever admit. If someone reads one of my books and decides not to be condemning of women in difficult circumstances, I would be even happier.
What advice would you give to writing moms who are where you were six months ago?
Normally I don’t have advice, but as moms we’ve all been there haven’t we? Sharing is what helps. I would say put your family first no matter what. Nothing is more important than family, not even writing if it’s your heart’s desire. I know it doesn’t always work out exactly how we want it to, but for me what happened was when my husband saw me making sacrifices of myself and not of my family, he started to respect my work ethic and jumped on board to support me.
For me, because I also work outside of the home, I feel called to sacrifice sleep instead of time with my family. Now, it’s not uncommon for my husband and family to offer me extra time to write. My husband uses that time to bond with the kids, but I’ll probably be getting up early for a long time yet.For other moms, it might be staying up late or writing while their kids are asleep. I have honestly written while nursing or while my baby slept in her front carrier on my chest. That might be considered desperate, but you do what you have to do. Get rid of the guilt by putting the kids first and then you have nothing to feel guilty about. Find extra time. It has to be there. And if it isn’t then maybe it’s one of those tough times when God is asking you to simplify and writing might have to go, but only for a season.
Is there anything else you’d like to share?
Only that I like your site very much and I am honored you invited me for an interview! Hang in there writing moms. As you already know, there is nothing more important than your callings as Moms. Whether you are home schooling moms, stay-at-work moms,
Stay-at-home moms, step-moms, grand moms, it doesn’t matter. Being a mom is number one and writing comes after that. If you keep at it, God will reward your efforts.
Oh, and if you get a chance, please take a peek at my interview over at www.noveljourney.blogspot.com. I’m also playing around with my own blog. It’s www.tinaannforkner.blogspot.com
Happy Writing!!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and wisdom with me. May God bless you as you write, raise your children and pursue His calling in your life.
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