So nice of you to ask…

A whole lot of nothing so it seems, but if I break it down, my schedule has been just as crazy as ever.

This has been the month of plays and recitals (well, April/May) with my son playing Gideon in his high school play the SAME weekend I scheduled the Susan May Warren conference. But good thing she loves high school musicals (though not as much as football, I’m sure) because she tagged a long with me and had a good old time. The next weekend I was in charge of concessions on one of the play nights. Lots of fun. Lots of work.

The Creative Writing classes I’m teaching have written a play and are putting it on.m MY brilliant idea was to ask the kids if they wanted to write a play, they said YES. Now we’re trying to pull it together for Friday! We could use all the prayer you can spare! Good thing this is the last week of school. Though homeschooling may continue through May and beyond!

Then my daughter had her dance recital last weekend and my son has cello this and cello that! He’s done with his normal lessons, but the extra concerts and auditions threw a curve into my schedule.

Writing? You want to know about my writing? Well, there’s nothing to tell. After the Susan May Warren conference I basically stalled big time, trying to figure out what I wanted to write. It seems I have a lot more to learn about writing a romance so, for a while I shelved my 50,000 word WIP. Go ahead and say it with me…YOUCH! But “the book of my heart” story wasn’t flowing so I decided to go back to the romance. I think with more study and a little (okay, maybe a lot) of help, I can make it work. My agent and Susie are behind me on this and say it’s a good story. I just need to figure out how I want to tell it!

And in my weightloss story…I’ve made a breakthrough. 7 lbs. and counting, but that’s another story for another day!

This post is in honor of sending in my Genesis entry and not impulsively checking it one more time… If you’re entering, hurry and get yours in!

10. You were too busy doing your taxes.

9. Your critique partners didn’t get your entry back to you in time.

8. You spent all your time looking up grammar rules on line, making sure your ands had the proper comma placement.

7. You realized at the last minute your really did use THEN and THAN correctly the first time and had to go back and change them all again.

6. Your kids kept interrupting you while doing your final read through, that you had to start all over again and ended up reading through it ten more times, not realizing the deadline had passed.

5. So many people had already critiqued your entry that you figured there’d be no one left who could judge it.

4. Your critique partners got so sick of you emailing and instant messaging them every five minutes with questions, that they blacklisted you from the contest.

3. You kept changing scenes around at the last minute and realized your cozy mystery had turned into women’s fiction. Then you had to start from scratch because women’s fiction was full!

2. You printed out your copy and mailed it only realizing too late that it was suppose to be sent by email.

And the number 1 reason why you didn’t get your entry in on time…

Everytime you read through your entry you found ANOTHER mistake, like the dangling participle in the VERY FIRST SENTENCE, so you figured why enter at all.

I’m two hours into my writing weekend and after spending the first hour and a half researching and getting into my characters’ heads I’ve managed to write about 500 words. I’ll be keeping a running tab on my word count and activities so check back if you’re curious. I’m hoping this will keep me motivated and accountable.

Friday

8:30 pm  500 words Already stiff from sitting up and writing in bed, so shifted to an reclined position. Not excited about moving to the desk just yet and I’m already regretting not packing more healthy snacks!

10:00 pm 820 words  Got a little hung up on research (still am as I try and research child welfare and radio commercials in 1941 (can’t find a thing) and I already ate tomorrow’s lunch but didn’t raid the vending machine! Going back in to finish some research and crank out another scene or two.

12:04 am 1100 words Finally writing a brand new scene which I have the frame work for on notebook paper. Random thought: Why is writing making me so hungry??

1:13 am 1600 words Probably wasted the last 30 minutes on mindless web celebrity surfing. Going to call it a night soon after I outline the new scene. Introducing two real life characters and new conflict for my hero, plus heroine has to swallow her pride and ask hero for help. Should be an interesting writing day tomorrow!

Saturday

10:00 am 2,023 words. Will fill in the morning activities later. I’m on a roll!

12:00 pm 3,057 words 

1:00 pm 4,011 words Whoo hoo! Word count had definitely improved, but writing quality has suffered! But I’m learning to “let things go” and push ahead. Even if the dialogue and actions are cheesy. I can always go back and fix it. Now I’m just 6,000 words away from my goal. It’d be great it I can hit that today and then tomorrow will just be gravy!

2:20 pm 4,330 words Ate lunch. Did some You Tube research, yay, research and now I’m ready to go home or at least take a nap, but instead I’ll write this lousy scene. Interpret lousy any way you want. You’ll probably be right!

3:45 pm 5o66 words Realizing I much prefer the conflict scenes, than the wise old mentor or romance scenes and I’ve one coming up! Oy! I need strength! Doubting I’ll make 10,000 words by the end of the night!

4:11 pm Haven’t written a word. Suddenly regretting giving up chocolate and wondering if I should procrastinate some more by having an early dinner. Hey, wait. Didn’t I ate about 2 hours ago? Sigh!

5:00 pm 5,868 words Slow and steady wins the race, or dives you completely insane. Haven’t come to a conclusion about that yet!  Going back for part two of the romance scene I’m working on. Digging deep on this one.

6:00 pm 6103 words  I basically skipped the scene working up to the almost kiss and went straight to the tension and almost kiss. Ready to move on and fill in those blanks much later! Though trying to decide where the hero and heroine goes from here. They’re not telling me right now.

8:45 pm 7,002 words Took an hour or so television break and got back to it. This is shaping up to be a good day, but unless inspiration hits me in the face in the next three hours, I’m not sure I’m going to make 10,000!

Sunday

10:30 am 8148 words Probably should write one more scene before I check out of hotel to find a quiet place to write. Thanks for all who’ve already commented and sent me emails. It helped pushed me over my slump hump!

1:45 pm 8,986 words Going for the home stretch!

3:00 pm 10,050 words Made goal for the month in one weekend. Anything else I write is gravy!

I’ve been planning this for a loooong time, but there was always multiple things happening each weekend. But the time has finally arrived. I get to spend almost two days in a hotel room writing. I hope to crank out at least 10,000 words, (more will be better) and not get hung up on all the details! Pray for me! I’m sort of a perfectionist when I write and have trouble finishing a first draft, but my first 50 pages sure do shine!!!

I’ve realized a couple of these weekends a year are how I have to write during this season in life. Whether in a weekend in a hotel or all day in a coffee shop. I need a huge chunk of time to get the words flowing. And when I do, they flow!

How do you write? In little bits or big chunks? And what’s the easiest way for you to get back into your story if you’ve been away for a while? That’s how it’s been for me and I’d hate to spend an hour warming up!!

They say copying is the greatest form of flattery, or something like that. And I’m copying Georgiana’s post.  After you finish here and leave your comment/list, go check hers out!

Top 5 things I’ve learned about writing NaNo…

5. That I still have to do some amount of research or I shut down, the story stalls and it’s better to do the little bit of research to satisfy that then to dry up.

4. That I can write more than I thought I could and write badly enough to get the words down

3. That I prefer to edit as I go (perfectionist in me) and it takes real discipline not to stop and show the emotion…

2. That my characters all have heart problems! LOL! But I’m okay with it now and use it as my standard response to go back and fill in a real visceral emotion later.

1. That I still don’t have as much time to write as I’d like and when I do have time I can crank out the words BUT I need a huge chunk of time to do that and it’s probably a good idea to schedule several writing weekends instead of trying to write every day and come up with 500 words of junk in 2 hours!

What have YOU learned?

Okay, I succumbed to cyber peer pressure and joined. Do I think I’ll write 50,000 words in a month? Noooo! I don’t even think I’m going to write 5,000 words in a month, but at least I’ll be a little more motivated to sit down and write something.

My goal  is not to crank out as many words as I can, but just to get my BIC (Butt in chair) writing! And I think I’ll reach my goal!

So if you’re crazy enough to do NaNo please buddy me: Portraitwriter If you’re doing NaNo, leave your NaNo name in the comment section! NaNo’s website been a bit difficult tonight so it might take some effort to find each other.

I do have a competitive spirit and think the healthy competition will spur me along! Other than that, I’m not really going to sweat it (she says as she wipes her brow.) Really!

I had a nice chat with my agent this morning. He’s been working hard to sell my two stories and while there’s been a positive response to my writing, the stories haven’t been fits so far. After reworking one of them, we’re still hopeful and I’m looking to see if I can add a new thread to the shorter one. In the meantime, I started working on another WIP, and I shared with him several other ideas I had. He said two of them had great premises, so I’ll be brainstorming those soon so I can share them with editors at ACFW.

ACFW! It’s only a few weeks away and now I have some direction as to what to do there. I was sort of floundering since my finished WIPs had already been seen and I didn’t have any new ones to pitch. His advice: Research the editors and what they’re looking for and talk about those stories that fit their house.

Good advice and just what I needed to get my creative juices flowing.

More on the new WIPS as soon as I flesh them out! Thanks to all my readers who still come by to check out what’s happening in my world. I’ve been lax in returning the favor, but please leave a comment (with URL) and I’ll be sure and stop by to check out your world!

When my last rejection came the other day, I felt disappointed and frustrated. I was really hoping this was it. When all the fruit of my labor would pay off. But nope! Not yet! In fact, after a summer long winning streak (various family members won three rounds of Wicked auction tickets, a trip to NC and appearance on a PBS television show and a full scholarship to a music conservatory for the year) it would have to be me to break our winning streak with a loss! Mainly, a rejection for my latest WIP.

This rejection didn’t hit me that hard. Disappointment only lasted about 20 minutes, due to the “if figures” factors and even though I expected to sell this WIP, not selling was just a typical part of my writing career thus far.

Days later, I’m still plugging away, wondering if all this work will be worth it. If all the years toiling will actually bring about fruit and when I finally get published will I honestly even be excited! That’s my biggest fear. I fear that after all this hard work that I won’t be excited when it actually happens and I’ll just heave a big sigh and say “It’s about stinkin’ time!” I so don’t want that to be my attitude, but it feels like that’s the path I’m headed. It feels like I’m working my tail off with nada to show for it, while others who are working hard as well just get handed contracts left and right. And frankly, I’m tired of hearing about it right now! (Go ahead..give your collective sigh and then get honest with yourself. You feel the same way if you’re reading this and struggling with a similar road to publication!)

I’ve already been down the “why not me?” road before. And I’ve accepted that it’s not my time yet. But I think I’ve come full circle to the “why itsn’t it my time, Lord?” What more do I need to do? I’ve practically scaled back writing and seem to have my priorities in order. When? WHEN? WHEN???? But God knows best is my pat answer and while it’s true, I don’t have to like it!

Today, I crossed the line from apathy to anger. (Don’t worry, by the time you read this, I’ll have fallen well back into apathy!) And I’m really starting to get angry at God. I don’t think I missed him on this one. On writing and being published. But why in the world is it taking so long to be published? (Yeah, I know. Not as long as some of you out there. But let’s face it. Longer than others!) The rejections I’m getting is that my writing is good, but my stories just don’t “fit!” So where do I fit? I’m not sure. And should I conform to just get a contract? Or should I write the stories God keeps giving me (which take a year or more to write) only to never sell them?

I’m a fighter no matter what! And I’m not one of those writers who writes just to write. I’ll write until I publish…or die trying.

Thanks for listening! I feel much better now! See, already slipping back into apathy!

I realized I haven’t updated the progress of my WIPs lately. Digging Up Death, which I fondly refer to as DUDly, is undergoing rewrites after I dug it up after I buried it. It made the rounds, and though I hadn’t heard a yeah or nay, from two editors, my wise agent and I decided we should start the reconstruction. So my married protag is now divorced with kids and I like the new twist. I’m thanking God I really didn’t have to change the beginning that much. I just needed to layer in the romance. The ending which I have yet to come to is a different story and at this point, I’m not sure how it will end.

Buried Deception, the one I wrote for Love Inspired Suspense, can use your prayers right now. It’s been with Steeple Hill for about a month now and it’d be really nice if I actually sold this one. Maybe if I did, I could get back to using this blog as I originally intended instead of a advertising forum just to make money.

But if there’s anything I’ve learned over the years, it’s God has seasons of life for us. Speaking of seasons…I’m now writing for examiner.com and Salttribe.com. Both have new content I probably won’t post here until I get my new design which I’m clueless about when I’ll get around to figuring that one out.

Anyway, strangely enough, I’m content. I still have way too much to do, but there’s a peace and I’m not particularly anxious about any area of my life right now. And that’s a good thing.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter how fast I run this publishing race, I’m not going to reach the finish line until God wants me to. So as I finish up edits on my current WIP, I’m looking toward the future and plan on stopping to smell the roses! That means slowing my writing down which would be like a snail instead of a tortoise!

Why slow down? If my writing career is in God’s hand, and I ultimately have no control over when I publish, why should I “kill” myself in the process. I’ve already “written” away so much time with my children, time I’ll never get back. If God’s timing is perfect, then even if I polish it in 3 months, which ain’t happening, it probably won’t be God’s timing. Right?

Or maybe my thinking is all wrong! Maybe it’s not so much the timing as in “when my kids get this age, then God will give me the green light.” Maybe it’s the timing of “the book” he wants me to write, which in that case, my whole theory of slow and steady wins the race is off, and I need to put on my running shoes!!!!

What’s your take on this? Where are you in your writing career, or in getting your “dream?” Tortoise or hare?

I’m not a romance writer, but after my agent’s repeated suggestions, I wrote a romantic suspense. He says romance is selling well in the inspirational market and after my first mystery didn’t sell, and I already had this romantic suspense book partly written (for an anthology,) I finished it. Now all I can do is wait, and rewrite my original mystery with a romance angle.

I’m not thrilled about turning my married protagonist into a divorced, single mom of three so she can find love and live happily ever after, but I do want the book to sell, and it already made the rounds. I’ve been told editors liked the idea, but wished it was a romance.

So here I go again, writing a romance. Is this where I want to stay? No! But I’m hoping it will be a stepping stone to what I really want to write and in this economy and market, sometimes we have to take a different path if we want to get ahead!

I never considered myself a work-at-home mom. Mainly because even though I stayed at home with my kids and wrote, I didn’t really make money at it. Making Work at Home Work by Mary Byers shed new light on the whole work-at-home (WAHM), stay-at-home mom (SAHM) thing.

I could say with confidence that for ten years after my first son was born, I was a SAHM. I did the whole play groups, multiple outings to the zoo and fast food play joint, and every now and then dabbled in sales: Discovery Toys, Creative Memory consultant and later I wrote monthly for a local magazine, but I didn’t consider myself a WAHM. I was a SAHM with hobbies that earned me product perks and a few extra dollars, but nothing that qualified me as really working.

Without even really knowing it, five years ago I made the switch from SAHM to WAHM when I started writing again. I guess the thng that kept me from this realization is that I didn’t actually bring home a consistent paycheck, though there was a couple of years when I wrote for a monthly magazine for pay.

The problem I had running my “business” from home is that I treated it like a hobby rather than a career. And honestly, I still can’t reconcile it as a business without a paycheck (neither can my hubby.) After just reading the first chapter of Byers book I realized these last five years I’ve been floundering between being a WAHM and SAHM, between being a mommy and a writer, with never clear bounderies or schedules for either. If I had seen my writing for what it is “a business” than maybe I would have made a business plan and been disciplined enough to keep real working hours instead of getting lost in cyberspace.

One thing I’m anxious to dig into is Byers handy WAHM Q&A profile that can help identify some of my problems with this whole WAHM/SAHM mentality. I’ll be posting the rest of my thoughts on this whole WAHM/SAHM definition tomorrow, so please come back and leave your thoughts!

More about the book:
Making Work at Home Work shows moms how to develop an entrepreneurial mind-set without sacrificing their families. It covers important topics such as developing a successful business philosophy, balancing time between work and family, setting realistic goals, and handling the challenges of being both “Mommy” and “CEO” while running a profitable home-based business.

About Mary Byers:
Mary M. Byers successfully juggles both a freelance corporate writing and speaking business and her responsibilities as a wife and mother of two school-aged children. She is the author of The Mother Load: How to Meet Your Own Needs While Caring for Your Family and How to Say No . . . And Live to Tell about It. Visit her website to learn more: www.marybyers.com or her blog www.makingworkathomework.com

Contest:
Contest! Win a copy of Making Work at Home Work (or another one of Mary’s books–your choice) AND a $25 Amazon gift certificate (for some WAHM essentials – Day Planner, bubble bath, funky file-folders, toddler DVDs)!

Sign up for Mary’s quarterly newsletter where she offer tips and advice about all facets of a women’s life: WAHM, mothering, women’s issues. More info here! (http://www.marybyers.com/index.cfm?pID=569)

Join the Work at Home Blog Ring. More info here. (http://www.makingworkathomework.com/2009/04/new-making-work-at-home-work-blog-ring.html)

Can’t wait? Buy the book Now:

That’s the novel my agent has shopped around and it seems like “Digging up Death” should never have been dug up! My latest rejection was pretty detailed and I heard that’s a good thing. Means I’m on my way… problem is it takes so darn long for me to write a novel, I might be six feet under before I cough up a publishable one!

Am I sad? Yes. Discourged? A little. Confused and wondering what the heck I should do or write next? Yes! You betcha! I don’t want to think about pouring another year of my life into a book that will be rejected. I feel like I’ve already robbed so much time from my children because I haven’t been able to figure out this balance thing. I was really hoping this would be the one! Honestly, I’ve read worse books in the last month that got me wondering how in the world did THAT get published, surely if they can, I can.

But God knows best! Sure glad he does, ’cause right now I feel like I know nothing!

I know just a couple of days ago I was ready to throw in the writing towel, (forgive the cliche!) but I might have a new story passion. No, my current WIP is not yet edited, but I needed a break and this story kept bouncing around in my head. The characters kept talking to me…so I might need to tell their story yet.

Problem is, it’s unlike anything else I’ve ever written and it scares me. I’m not sure what it is, Women’s fiction, contemporary, but I never wanted to be labeled a mystery/suspense writer, though I love it and I know you have to zero in on a genre to keep readers, but I don’t have a contract yet, so I’m gonna play the field while I can. It might stink, but here’s the rough opening. What do yout think? Would you want to read more? Or should I stick to mystery/suspense writing?

Prologue

I remember the first time I found it…I found him. I didn’t know at that moment what it was, but the feeling grabbed hold of my heart and clung to it like sand to my wet body. It was more than a feeling really, but a knowing like after searching for hours in the sand and finally uncovering that one perfect seashell and realizing that the broken and damaged ones which might have once satisfied, now just wouldn’t do.

If I had known then what I know now I wouldn’t have waited so long to return.

Chapter One

Fire Island, NY 1975

“Take that back, Michael Chandler or I’ll sick this crab on you.” I held the tiny sand crab out as if it was a giant lobster. Not much of a threat since sand crabs didn’t have pinchers, but it was all that I had to defend myself. Heat scalded my seven-year-old head that early July, the ocean breeze whipping through my mousy-brown, sun-streaked hair.

Michael Chandler sat on his haunches, digging in the sand across from me. “Why should I take it back? It’s the truth, ain’t it?”

“It might be the truth, but it’s not nice.” Gabe, Michael’s identical twin in appearance only, pushed overgrown bangs out of his eyes with his sandy hand. “Jesus loves you just the way you are Hadley, freckles and all.”

Jesus. I’d heard the name before, shouted by my Jewish father, but never in the same sentence as the word love.

Michael looked up from his digging. “Why’d your parents give you a boy’s name?  Haadleee. Saadlee. Makes me maadlee.”

“Is not a boy’s name. Ernest Hemingway’s first wife was named Hadley.” Mother said so. And she knew all about writers ’cause she’s one herself. That’s why we always spent our summers on Fire Island. So mother could write, and we could get away from the distractions of the world.

Michael snickered. “First wife? Figures. No girl with the name of Hadley could ever get a man to love her forever.”

I remember the feeling. How Michael’s words choked the air from my lungs, worse then when I tumbled through the surf, fighting the waves, grasping to find my way to the surface. I fought back tears. I wouldn’t let Michael Chandler see me cry. Not ever.

Gabe put his sandy hand around my shoulder. “I like the name Hadley. It’s pretty and different. Reminds me how God made all of us unique and loves us no matter what other people say.”

And in that moment I remember feeling as if God was hugging me, that he had reached his big God arms down inside a skinny boys’ body and gave me a tight, fatherly squeeze.

Sitting on the shore of Fire Island, I basked in the feeling that I was at a loss of words to name.

 

No news is good news, right? Well, that’s how I’m looking at it right now. Actually, I have had news on my WIP my agent’s been shopping around. I’ve been hearing good feedback about the writing, it even made it as far as committee at one publishing house and got a very nice rejection at another that went something like this…Gina is a good writer, and you’ve probably already sold this, but we just aqcuired a similar story from so and so. Hey, I don’t mind being compared to so and so.

But it seems since my story is not your typical romantic mystery it’s just not fitting with most publishing houses. Still, I haven’t given up hope. It’s still hanging in there at five or so and if it’s to be with this book, then it will happen. In fact, that’s what my agent keeps telling me, “Gina, it will happen. Your a fine writer.” How can I be upset over that! So though this current WIP may not make it to print (I’m hoping and praying it will because it’s a darn good story, if I do say so myself) maybe the next one will.

But bottom line for me is I can’t sell out this current story. I can’t make it into what it’s not, and I’m hoping and praying some editor, some house out there will see it for what it is and take a chance on it and me!  If not, there’s always the next one, which by the way is 3000 words from being finished!

Yep, know that. Understand it. I’m even appreciative of it. BUT good news is always better in the big scheme of things and since I’m leaning on the ONE who holds my future and writing career in my hands, I’m not really anxious. Working on a new WIP helps to take the edge off waiting. But wouldn’t it be great if I got “the call” soon!

Not only would it be awesome, but we could really use the income, especially if I want to go to ACFW Denver this year. (Keep praying for us to sell our old home!) So in the meantime, I’ll keep waiting, and writing and looking for new ways I can earn a buck or two. Have any brilliant but no so painful ideas?

Not sure where that expression comes from, but I haven’t written any new words since my weekend away. BUT I did have a great brainstorming session this weekend so I know where I’m headed. AND I got tons of research information in from people, so I have a lot to wade through. AND I talked over some nonfiction ideas with my agent.

There’s lots to do, but I’m trying to get on a good schedule. I’m still not waking up before 9 am, so that means I really need to get to bed early if I’m going to get my writing in.

On another note, homeschooling went well today and I’m ready to jump on the elliptical! So far, it’s been a fairly productive day! How’s your day going?

And how do I know? Because several of my unpublished friends have received contracts in the last TWO to THREE months! Let me count, Ronie, Myra, Christa, and I know I’m forgetting one or two others, but that gives me hope.

What also give me hope is my agent who’s working for me and said this about my manuscript currently in front of editors. “You’re right — all in God’s timing. You’re a FINE writer. It’ll happen…It’s good — in a normal economy, it would have sold already.”

Someone in the industry believes I’m a fine writer, and I’m hopeful he’s not the only one!

I’m sure an extra prayer or two on your part couldn’t hurt!

The moving boxes are almost packed and put away. We’re just about settled into our new home and are making good use of it. In fact, over the holidays we had a total of four big “gatherings” in three days with miscellaneous friends popping in and out! It’s been a blast and exhausting, and I have yet to take down my Christmas decorations! But it will get done in time. Just like everything else.Eventually the dishes get done. Eventually the kids get fed. Eventually we start homeschooling. I can go on and on. But eventually I will finish my new WIP. I will get published, and I will lose that unwanted holiday weight gain.

How do I know this for sure? I don’t. But I have to keep believing, keep trying, keep striving. Because if I don’t, I’ll know for sure I won’t!

Heard from my agent that I got four “no thank yous” from editors/publishing houses on my WIP, BUT there’s still several houses that have it, and he likes what the editors have been saying about it. I’m hopefully, but not holding my breath because I know editors are just one of many people that have to say “yes” before my WIP becomes a real live book. Though maybe some prayers might tilt the scale in my favor. So send up a prayer or two if you think about it!