One of our sons is incredibly mean and horrible to the other. We’ve tried everything, but this son picks at and says awful things to the other one. His attitude and hatred in his heart at times is wrenching to me and those who here this verbal abuse.

We’ve tried it all. No Ps2, no friends, etc. Sometimes it works…for a while, then he goes back. The root of the problem is selfishness and we’ve even had him memorize scripture. It’s encouraging when I see his heart soften, but it can harden up so quickly.

Well, we’ve committed to getting tougher with him. In fact, while on line at Universal for the Pteradon Flyer ride ( a 60 minute wait) his attitude became unbearable. After several warnings and nearing the end of the line (which was more like a 30 minute wait) I said he was NOT going on the ride. At first he was shocked and I looked to my husband for support. I felt myself waver, but my husband agreed! My son flared his nostril and gave the evil eye to me and his brother, but we all boarded the ride without him.

His attitude seemed to settle down for a while, but days later he’s back to picking at people (not just his brother, but sister also.) It’s so difficult to know what to do. Most of it is selfishness and it’s NOT just the age. He’s been like this for a looong time. If anyone has any suggestions I’m open to it. Something really needs to happen in his heart (and I’ve seen it soften so I know it’s not hopeless,) but I’m at a loss what to do!

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Categories: Things that Make me go Ouch , Daily Grind , Parenting w/Love & Baggage |July 24th, 2008 |

4 Comments

1. Georgiana Daniels
   

   This is a tough one, for sure. Thankfully he has parents who show him the way of righteousness!

   July 24th, 2008 at 10:16 am
2. Audra Krell
   

   That must break your heart, and not just once in a while! Two of my boys didn’t get along at all and then the oldest started wanting to work with other children at church, camps, etc. We talked about how ministry starts at home and that if we didn’t see these things happening with his brothers, that we wouldn’t be able to drive him places etc. We also got both of them involved in music and that has helped them to have something to do where they don’t have to argue.

   July 25th, 2008 at 8:43 am
3. Gina
   

   It is tough and it does break my heart. I’ve tried taking things away, but that just makes my oldest madder, still I know eventually it’ll sink in. Even today he came to me and said “Mom, I didn’t get angry (at brother) even though I wanted to.” I praised him for his efforts and told him “If you control yourself more, it will take the focus off of you and I’ll be able to deal with the other issues your siblings have.” As it stands now, the one with the biggest issue usually gets dealt with while the minor issues of siblings go overlooked most of the time.

   I know one day all this sibling stuff will work it’s way out, but oldest is NOT thrilled about younger bro being in middle school with him. I could use some prayers on this for anyone that feels led!

   July 25th, 2008 at 9:01 am
4. Luke Holzmann
   

   Lord, I ask that you would work in this situation. Bring this young man into a close friendship and harmony with his siblings and those around him. May his family show him grace where he needs it, and wisdom to respond appropriately.

   Amen.

   I must admit: My brother and I had issues growing up. We have since become much better, but it was bad for a time. I wish I could tell you what fixed it, but I honestly think it was growing up and maturing.

   ~Luke

   July 28th, 2008 at 11:28 am

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