On a whim.. and one late night avoiding writing, I wrote a BAD poem for Chip Macgregor’s Bad Poetry contest and I won…among others in uniquely bad catergories.

And the poem, I will probably not frame and hang on my wall, that won…

“But if you want strange visions, take a look at this year’s WORST PROZAC POEM, from Gina Conroy, who really needs to have the doctor up her meds:”

Secret Admirer

My love for you is full and overflowing
Like my bladder after I can no longer hold it
Like I want to hold you…But you are not here
And I don’t blame you, well, yes I do.
I blame you for everything.
My depression, the medications, my therapist’s bill.

My Prozatic double vision wouldn’t be so bad if I saw two of you.
And the nightmares from hell might be bearable
if I woke up next to you.
And the drool on my pillow, shouldn’t be there.
It should be you, on my pillow, but you’re not.
You’re safe in your warm bed, snuggled next to your…dog
who’s on your pillow…drooling.

And you don’t care! You lie there like I don’t even exist.
Like I’m not knocking on the window of your heart.
I feel my soul emptying of life,
like my bladder right now on your lawn,
and that’s your fault too!

What do YOU think???

Yep, that’s right. I’m hitting the road, by myself, and heading West. It’s a trip that’s been a year and half in the making. It was supposed to be my 40th present to myself, but I like to plan things out and well, my first option was to go cruising with friends, but due to lack of finances and er…friends able to take off on a whim, I decided I’d take the celebration to them instead.

Unfortunately, time limits me to the west coast, but maybe next time I’ll travel east!

So here’s my tentative itinerary. The great thing about traveling alone is that I can do what I want when I want and I’m gonna do just that! If you’re a friend, faithful blog reader, or new to my musings, and you’re on my route, give me a shout (okay, didn’t mean that to rhyme.)

First stop is Denver, Colorado where my pal Danica has almost talked me into attending the Master’s Seminar. And I’m really close to writing the check. First have to make sure there’s money IN the check book!

Denver to Yellowstone Park

Yellowstone to  Southern Idaho to visit my new feels-like-we’ve-been-friends-forever friend, Jessie where she’s gonna turn me into a cowgirl or redneck and take me to the coffee place Brandilyn Collins used in her Kanner Lake series!

Idaho to Portland, Oregon…to the coast to visit Canon Beach because Jim Rubart painted such a wonderful picture of the place in his book ROOMS that I just have to see it for myself.

Then Oregon Coast down California…Yeah, California is BIG so hoping to make a couple stops along the way…not sure where. Open to suggestions!

California to Grand Canyon, Arizona to visit my pal Georgianna

Arizona to Texas, maybe…depends how much time I have. I’d love to go to the beach!

So there you have it! My road trip! It’s almost too real to believe it’s going to happen in less than two months!

Not that I know from experience or anything…

10. Write a top ten list of how to embarrass your teen

9. Tell their friends something about what they did when they were little

8. Tell them you talked to/emailed their teacher about… (fill in the blank)

7. Blog about them

6. Comment on their facebook page

5. Comment on their friend’s facebook page

4. “Friend” their friends on facebook

3. Show their friends a picture of them when they were ten

2. Try to hold their hand in public

1.  Sing at their school karaoke night “Saturday Night Live style” in hopes of winning the award for “the parent who embarrassed their kid the most!” I’m still waiting for my prize!

I’m either getting old or I’m just too busy. Maybe a little of both because I forgot to post on Part Two of our Raggs PBS trip. I could have sworn I did, but here’s another go (from my fading memory) and some quotes from my daughter.

My last post ended with me trying to get Grace to open up and we found that throwing her Littlest Pet Show animals across the room in a basket worked well! It got her wound up a little too much so we switched to hide and seek with the animals. Then it was her turn to go to hair and makeup.

Grace was nervous to be on TV, but sat in the makeup chair while the makeup lady and Boo, the lady who warmed up all the kids, tried talking to Grace. She didn’t say much or answer their questions like I wanted. I was a bit worried because in her audition video she came across as a very precocious, outgoing girl, but in person she was very shy. They understood and that’s why they tried to warm up the kids with questions before they went in to see Dumpster.

The day’s theme was “Pretend and make believe” but Grace told them she didn’t make believe or pretend. So I steered them to her performing on stage as a fairie in Narnia. After all, that was pretend.

Grace was excited when she went into see Dumpster. He was very funny and sang her name, trying to make her smile. He asked her questions about pretend and playing dress up and even asked her “what is acting?” Grace was trying to answer the questions correctly and told me later…

“I tried to answer the questions to help little kids learn and he asked me ‘what’s acting?’ I wanted to say ‘you’re acting, I’m acting, you’re just a puppet Dumpster,’ but I didn’t because the kids watching the show think the cat was really a cat.”

He asked about costumes and Grace said she wore a poofy dress in Narnia.  “Dumpster asked me about costumes and I told him I wore a poofy fairie costume in a play. He asked ‘what’s poofy?’ and I showed him my skirt I was wearing. Then he asked ‘would I look good in poofy?’” Grace said “no.”

Dumpster also asked about Grace’s favorite song. She said, “Back and Forth.” It’s by Lanae Hale and I knew Dumpster wouldn’t know it, but he was pretty funny when he said, “Is this how it goes. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth” and he swayed back and forth! I was really surprised and excited when Grace sang the song for him and I really hope that it’ll air some time soon!

He asked her about the names of stores and what a store is like. She mentioned Walmart and HomeDepot. Guess where we shop!

Grace said, “It was fun talking to Dumpster the Cat because he was fun to talk to. He asked me a lot of questions. There was this big room you had to wait in and I got to play on the computer. My favorite part of the trip was staying in the hotel and the airplane because it was my first airplane ride.”

Later I told her if she had messed up they could have cut the scene out, and she wished she would have told Dumpster that “I’m acting, you’re acting. You’re just a puppet.”

Then we got a photo with Dumpster and a goodie bag and it was time to get ready to leave. I really wish I would have written this sooner and that I could have video taped the entire thing, but hopefully most of it will be on the Raggs show someday soon!

 I remember going to the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus as a child. I don’t remember much of what actually went on, but I remember the feeling of awe! Three rings, nonstop excitement, a flurry of activity and don’t forget the cotton candy! It truly is the Greatest How On Earth!

Each touring edition of Ringling Bros and Branum & Bailey is different, but all feature “amazing Asian elephants, fascinating tigers, family fun and so many thrills you will be on the edge of your seat all night!” And all offer the All Acess Pre-show which begins an hour before show time, live on the circus floor.  The Pre-Show provides the opportunity for kids to interact with performers, try on costumes, and get up close and personal at The Greatest Show On Earth. And the best part is that it’s free for all ticket holders!

As if that wasn’t good enough, you can take advantage of the customer code for family discounts. Look for the box marked “MC Promotion” when purchasing tickets:

• *Offer #1: Get 4 tickets for just $44 by entering the code “MOM” at select ticketing channels. Offer good on all weekday performances, which includes all weekday evening and Friday matinee performances; minimum purchase of 4 tickets required; additional tickets above 4 can be purchased at $11 each.
• *Offer #2: All weekend performance tickets will be $4 off the original price.
• Offer #3: Get the best Circus Celebrity, Front Row and VIP seats available – We have  reserved seats in these sections just for you! Enter the code MOM. No discounts available on these sections.

* Not valid on Circus CelebritySM, Front Row or VIP seats and may not be combined with other offers including special Opening Night pricing.  Other fees may apply.
The above offers are good in the following cities:

• Denver: September 30 – October 11, 2009
• Boston: October 14-18, 2009
• St. Louis: October 15-18, 2009
• Cleveland: October 21-26, 2009
• Rosemont/Chicago: November 5 – 29, 2009 *available for purchase on Sept. 8. 2009
• Auburn Hills: November 18-22, 2009
• Charlotte: January 27-31, 2010 *available for purchase on Sept. 12, 2009
• Atlanta: February 12-21, 2010 *available for purchase on Sept. 12, 2009
• Cincinnati: March 10-14, 2010 *available for purchase on Sept. 21, 2009
• Dayton: April 29 – May 2, 2010 *available for purchase on Sept. 21, 2009

More information on shows coming this fall & winter:

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® Presents Over The Top, an all-new live entertainment extravaganza featuring the ultimate tug of war between Ringmaster Chuck Wagner and clown eccentric Tom Dougherty over a magical top hat that controls the circus. When the Ringmaster dons the hat he conjures stupendous spectacles for his circus, like the stunt riding Royal Cossack Cavalry while the clown uses the hat to summon silly and whimsical acts for his circus, such as a cavalry of goats riding on ponies in a Barnyard Bonanza.  They continue to top one another until the Ringmaster and clown realize that the magic of the circus is not in the hat but in the hearts of everyone. The show culminates in an amazing display of gigantic glowing rainforest flowers surrounding Chinese acrobats swinging on vines and propelling through the air. Over the Top is two circuses in one providing excitement for the whole family.

Audiences will see nearly 100 animals including flying dogs, Asian elephants that skip, hop, and groove, miniature horses, llamas, pigs, and even a performing porcupine. In a daring feat, the courageous Daniel Raffo stands eye to eye with a pack of powerful Bengal tigers. Circus celebrities help rev-up the motorcycle madness featuring one cycle on a high wire and seven speeding riders in a Globe of Steel. Extraordinary aerial acts fill the arena sky with a rare double-decker trapeze and the Bombastic Bouncers who combine gigantic inner tubes and awe-inspiring acrobatics in a high-energy performance never before seen in America. And with the audience’s participation, this circus really goes Over The Top!

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® Presents ZING ZANG ZOOM®: Through the mystery of magic and the mastery of skill, audiences will be spellbound as Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® Presents ZING ZANG ZOOM®, a thrill-filled, mind-blowing circus spectacular where family fun is no illusion.

Magical Zingmaster Alex and his assistant, the alluring Levitytia, lead audiences through a kaleidoscope of color and imagery revealing extraordinary worlds of fantasy, flight and phenomena that celebrates the uplifting spirit of the circus and wards off a cynical Mr. Gravity and his team of “heavies” who try to bring everyone down.

Be mesmerized when a four-ton elephant disappears before your eyes, and a gravity-inducing nemesis transforms across species into a ferocious tiger.  Stand in awe as a dazzling trapeze artist performs a perilous, anatomically unimaginable one-arm speed-spin high atop the arena floor, and two formidable, female human cannonballs are blasted through the air in a daring, awe-inspiring display of bravery.  Become electrified as the dangerous double wheel of steel, the gasp-inducing high wire and soaring gigantic swings defy both gravity and logic.

Fun-filled magic merges with traditional circus arts to create a world of infinite possibilities where apprentice illusionists levitate their parents with a wave of a wand, and audience spirits keep rising as the high flying circus is (literally) turned upside down.  Perhaps the most magical of all, watch in amazement as an incomparable array of exotic animals including a herd of majestic Asian elephants, magnificent Bengal tigers and elegant Arabian and Friesian horses join forces with our human performers to create an experience that will surprise and delight Children of All Ages, rendering us speechless and reminding us that the magic of The Greatest Show On Earth® lives forever in our hearts and imaginations.

“I wrote this review while participating in a blog campaign by Mom Central on behalf of Feld Entertainment. Mom Central sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate.”

As you’re reading this my seven year old daughter and I are on a plane (her FIRST plane ride,) heading for North Carolina to tape the Raggs PBS show and get interviewed by Dumpster the Cat.

Life has been so crazy I can’t believe I haven’t blogged about this yet, but here it goes…

Mid summer I came across a contest for 4- 7 year olds to win a chance to appear on the Raggs PBS show. Since we don’t watch a lot fo TV,  she didn’t know who Raggs was, but was excited about the possiblity of her first plane ride! I vaguely remember a Dog band coming to our State Fair and playing a small concert, and thought that was who it was. So we decided to enter!

I didn’t have much time to get my entry in so after carefully reading the directions on how to enter, I got out my Flip camera and started shooting. Needless to say, my sassy, funny daughter froze up when I was taping her. We tried over and over again, each time she loosened up a bit. Then when I finally thought I had a decent audition tape, I noticed there was a logo on the box behind her head. YIKES! The rules said no ad logos, so we moved to the hallway and did one last take. By now, she was getting really sassy and her full personality came out. I downloaded the tape (thank you internet submissions!) and that was that. I didn’t think much about it.

Weeks later we auditioned for the Wizard of Oz and got in. I noticed there might be a conflict with the Raggs taping. But winning was such a long shot. I didn’t think much more of it until I got an email from Raggs with a BIG congratulations at the top. At first, I thought she was 1 of 100 chosen to go on a second interview. But Cameron, the very helpful Raggs assistant set me straight. My daughter was a winner and would be taped. Later Raggs would decide which segments to use, but we were on our way!

So we’re on our way. We fly back tomorrow, and then the next day we have our first performance of the Wizard of Oz! (Yes, we have special permission to miss two days of tech week!) I’ve already seen photos of other kids on the Raggs adventure and it looks fabulous! And we hope to meet up with some families at the hotel later.  So if you’re reading this, say a prayer for us and our adventure, for save and easy travel on this wonderful, whirlwind of a tour! And my daughter’s true personality to shine!

Grace, my almost seven year old, is a character, to say the least. All my children, except my mild, mannered Timmy were characters with big personalities. I remember specifically Joey singing and talking to random people in the grocery store, waving at them across the aisle. Then there was Chris, who came out a leader from birth. I remember the time I was watching him at a recital and to say he was a little “bossy” would be an understatement. He demanded the “lebo” (yellow) baton from his teacher, told the kids what to do and if they were doing it wrong and while I was videotaping him, he yelled at me from the little stage to “Clap mommy! Clap!” Don’t believe me, I have it on video.

Not sure whose DNA Timmy has. He’s the kid that would be content to sit in a stroller for hours. Maybe God knew I needed a break from chasing my first two, or maybe God knew Grace was coming next. She, by far, takes the prize for the biggest character. My parents call her a “pip.” Even though I have no idea what that means, I know she’s just that, a pip!

The things that come out of her mouth leave me stunned and sometimes I have to wonder if she’s getting most of this from television or her little, creative mind. Like the other night, I was reading her Cinderella and got to the end about dreams come true. She informs me that it doesn’t work. The conversation went something like this.

Me: What doesn’t work?

Grace: Wishes

Me: Why?

Grace: Because I wished on shooting stars and it doesn’t come true.

Me: What did you wish for?

Grace: That everyone in this family would do what I say, like they were robots and did everything I want.

Me trying not to laugh

Grace: I know grandma told me I should wish nice things so I did. I wished that everyone would have the best day tomorrow and it didn’t happen.

Me: Maybe you should try praying instead of wishing

Grace: No, that wouldn’t work ’cause I’d pray to have a million dollars fall from the sky and it just doesn’t happen like that.

Me thinking to myself: You got that right!

Check it out!  I’m too lazy to repost it here and I could use the penny!

Beauty & The Beast

 

Cast Parties!

Peter Pan

Recitals

I couldn’t resist uploading this podcast of my six year old singing “True Love’s Kiss” from Enchanted.

and cats, and horses and even skunks! Yes, I did see a skunk on this animal lover’s website Anamigo.com is a new online community for pet lovers and their pets. It doesn’t cost a thing and all you have to do is join. Check out this minisite which explains everything:

http://anamigo.smnr.us

I’ve entered my cute pup a contest they’re hosting! So I’d really appreciate your vote. Anamigo.com with daily prize of $25 and a weekly prize of $125, totaling $300-a-week for the cutest pet photos (voted by users).

Then if you’re a pet owner/lover you sign up your pet  and start making friends.

Did I mention I entered my cute pup? So go and vote!

While wrapping presents this morning, I got to thinking. I’m a terrible wrapper. I’ve always been. I’m the kind of wrapper that molds and folds the paper to cover the gift, and sometimes has to tear off a stray piece or add another section of wrapping paper to cover the gaping whole.

I started thinking, why aren’t I a good wrapper? The kind where I want my presents to be all neat and crisp and pretty? But I already knew the answer. My personality if foremost choleric, which means my mantra is “get it done” opposed the a melancholy who lives by the code “get it done right.” That’s why my presents are all wrinkled and crude looking. But I don’t mind. And I don’t think my kids will either come Christmas morning!

What about you? What kind of wrapper are you?

My dad sent this to me via email. Hope it brings a smile to your face this Monday morning!

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty  uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig  to a rscheearch at

Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a

wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the

rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a

porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by

istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot

slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on  !!

How’d you do?

Count every ‘ F ‘ in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS….

(SEE BELOW)
HOW MANY ?
WRONG, THERE ARE 6 – no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F’s before you scroll down.
The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process ‘OF’.
   
Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 ‘F’s’ on the first go is a genius.
                 
Three is normal, four is quite rare.
Send this to your friends.
It will drive them crazy.!
And keep them occupied
For several minutes..!

Wanna know the meaning of the saying “it costs an arm and a leg”? Interesting tidbit from Mike Dellosso!

What Your Driving Says About You

You are generally an easy going, laid back person. However, you can’t help but feel a little jealous and competitive sometimes!You are a fairly aware person, but you can’t help but make judgment errors from time to time.You are a very fair person. You treat everyone equally, even when it’s difficult to do.You are a calm, peaceful person. You realize that arguments are only temporary, and you try to give people the benefit of the doubt. You have mixed feelings about authority figures. You understand their place, but you believe their power needs to be in check. You are not a very focused person. You have trouble walking and chewing gum at the same time! You are a very responsible and conscientious person. You often consider the feelings and needs of others. Your ego is normally in check, but sometimes you get a bit egotistical. You tend to be a little self-important at times.

What Does Your Driving Say About You?

Here’s the REST OF THE STORY…

Ha! They got it wrong!

You are generally an easy going, laid back person. LOLROF!! However, you can’t help but feel a little jealous and competitive sometimes! YEP!

You are a fairly aware person, but you can’t help but make judgment errors from time to time.

You are a very fair person. You treat everyone equally, even when it’s difficult to do. I TRY, BUT MY KIDDOS DON’T THINK SO!

You are a calm, peaceful person. LOLROFL OVER AND OVER AGAIN! You realize that arguments are only temporary, and you try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

You have mixed feelings about authority figures. You understand their place, but you believe their power needs to be in check.

You are not a very focused person. You have trouble walking and chewing gum at the same time! NOT TRUE, THOUGH WAVERED ON THIS QUESTION!

You are a very responsible and conscientious person. You often consider the feelings and needs of others. OF COURSE, I DO! EXCEPT WHN I’M BEING SELFISH!

Your ego is normally in check, but sometimes you get a bit egotistical. You tend to be a little self-important at times. YEP!

“The circus, the circus, I love the circus!” Okay, who doesn’t, (can you guess what Disney movie that’s from?)  And no one does the circus better than Ringling Bros.

I can’t remember my first Ringling Bros. circus, but I do remember the excitement and awe of watching the high wire and traipse acts! Not to mention the fun of the clowns. I remember always wanting to be that kid who rode in the clown car in the clown parade and waved to the audience.

While the acts seem to get more death defying over the years, the thrill remains the same! We take our kids every couple of years and the three ring phenomenon never ceases to bring out the kid in me and my hubby.

And this last time I attended the circus I encountered something I never encountered before. My mind began to wander and race with plot ideas for a murder mystery! Wouldn’t the circus be a cool setting for a mystery novel?

If your family loves the circus as much as mine does, than you’ll want to take advantage of this discounted ticket offer.

The 20% discount code for Ringling Bros. Circus. Code: MCC

*Please note that the code is valid for buying tickets with the following ticket price brackets: $24, $19, and $13. The code is valid for the circus shows in the following cities:

Indianapolis, IN – Sept. 4-7, 2008
Kansas City, MO – Sept. 10-14, 2008
Grand Rapids, MI – Sept. 18-21, 2008
Denver, CO – Oct. 2-13, 2008
Boston, MA- Oct.8-13, 2008
Cleveland, OH – Oct. 24 – Nov. 2
Chicago, IL – Nov. 6 – 30, 2008
St. Louis, MO – Nov. 6-9, 2008
Auburn Hills, MI – Nov. 12 – 16, 2008
Highland Heights, KY – Feb 27 – Mar. 1, 2009
Cincinnati, OH – Mar. 4 – 8, 2008

Feel free to spread the MCC code around to friends and family near these cities. Simply go to ringling.com and type in their zip code to find the shows and purchase tickets online with the code.

And if you can’t get enough of the circus, than be sure to visit these bloggers this week!
Rashmi: http://abookbloggersdiary.blogspot.com/
Kim: http://accidentalmommies.com
Lori: cowgirlcritiques.com
Elizabeth: http://blog.elizabethhoward.net/
Shannon: http://brain-soup.blogspot.com/
Suzanne: http://crunchygreenmom.blogspot.com
Belinda: http://cuddlecottage.blogspot.com
Dawn: http://dawnandjimmy.us/blog
Erin: http://ecsmargaritaville.com/
Elrena: http://elrenaevans.blogspot.com
Eliza: http://homemom3.blogspot.com/
Kailani: http://islandlife808.com/
Kristin: http://kailasmommy.blogspot.com/ and http://www.aordinarylife.com/
Britt: http://miss-britt.com/
Sheena: http://mommydaddyblog.com/
Tiffany: http://naturemoms.blogspot.com
Natalie: http://redsoxmommy.blogspot.com
Caryn: http://rockinmama.net
Lisa: http://mythoughtsideasandramblings.com
Lindsay: http://suburbanturmoil.blogspot.com/
Dana: http://thedanafiles.com/
Heather: http://thedomesticdiva.org
Khatina: http://twosuns.wordpress.com/
Neila: http://www.blogthatmommy.blogspot.com/
Tracy: http://www.bookroomreviews.wordpress.com
Gina: http://www.dewgin.blogspot.com
Jennifer: http://www.familymusings.com
Christine: http://www.fromdatestodiapers.com
Jocelyn: http://www.hipmamasplace.com <http://www.hipmamasplace.com>
Candace: http://www.mamanista.com/
Holly: http://www.mamapj.com/
Jenn: http://www.mommyneedscoffee.com/
Deb: http://www.momof3girls.net/
Angela:http://www.sevendogsandababy.com/
Alyson: http://www.threepsinapod.blogspot.com
Sara: www.saralifeinwords.blogspot.com
Amy: www.tresfun.com.
Bethany: www.wavybrains.com