Twas two days after renovations and all through the house were wood floors and new carpet, no need to grouse.

All the rooms were picked up, all nice and clean, most everything was hidden and not seen.

When what to our frustrated ears do we hear, “You’ll never get the price you want, is that clear?”

At first we were rigid and oh so confused, we have so much square footage, a backyard you can cruise.

“Location, Location, Location’s the key.” We never understood before, but now,we see.

According to the rules and laws of the land, no matter how big, no matter how grand,

if we list our home way above any other, we cannot, will not get it, oh bother!

No matter how much other homes get per sq. foot, our hands are tied, way firm is the root.

Though our house is bigger, our yard is grand, we cannot, cannot go against the laws of the land!

Okay, my feeble attempt to have fun with a very frustrating situation. We’re all done with renovations. Wood floors look great. New carpet, clean and wonderful. We hoped to make our home look its best so we could get the best $$ per square foot which ranges from $65 - $80 for two stories, most two-stories selling on the low end, while one stories get higher $$ per sq. foot. Go figure!

So we’re hoping to get $75 -$79 a sq foot, and come to realize that it doesn’t matter how big our home is or how huge the back yard is compared to the rest of the neighborhood, we CANNOT (I’m talking, it would be illegal and buyers won’t get a bank to loan the money) go over the “selling cap” in the neighborhood!

Big time frustration. “So you mean my exact home, with the same yard three miles down the road would sell for $20,000 more just because of the location?” Yep.

“So, no matter how much more money I sink into the house, it doesn’t matter because I won’t get any more for it even it I put in granite counter tops.” Yep.

“And even though a one story across the street with an microscopic backyard went for $75 a sq. foot, my house can’t go for that much because it has more sq. footage and at that rate it would price us out of the neighborhood.” You got that right!

Well, I say that should be criminal!!!!

And ya think with my husband’s mom as a realtor we would have understood the concept BEFORE! Good thing we did the minimal amount of work (word floors were only $500 extra than carpeting the area and we did it ourselves!) So we’ve decided to go For Sale by Owner, to save on the realtors fees, but hubby informed me that buyers are going to WANT the savings factored in! Oy Vey! When will the robbery end! I’m hoping we can sell our home for a FAIR price and walk away. It’s been a great house for us, though its floor plan seems to be less desireable in the town we live in! Please pray the right buyers come along and fast! We close on the new/old house on September 15!

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Found this written somewhere in my journal. Thought someone might be able to relate.

You see it all the time in books and movies, two kindred spirits. The deep intimate relationships between close friends that have seen each other at their best and worse, yet love and forgive each other anyway.

Subconciously, I think I’ve been searching all my life for this type of friendship. At times, I’ve tasted a little of what this relationship looks like, but inevitably things fall apart, close friends move away, or something happens in the friendship to put distance between us.

Looking back on my life and my lack of really close intimate friends, I’m beginning to wonder whether this type of relationship really exists, or if I’m just chasing a fairytale.

I’m beginning to wonder if it’s me who keeps driving these friends away.

It seems whenever I feel close enough to someone to really expose my heart, or safe enough in a relationship to bring up something that is standing between us (aka. bugging me) , it back fires. Instead of bringing us closer as friends, I somehow drive a wedge between us which is not my intention at all.

I’m starting to figure out that maybe I’m just too intense a person. Maybe even too needy. I’d rather deal with things that are bothering me in a relationship than just constantly gloss over them. I’m big on Grace and forgiveness in my relationships, but I don’t denying my feelings. I feel, forgive and go on. Once in a while I feel secure enough in a relationship to expose my heart and my true feelings. But maybe I’ve taken it a bit too far this time. Maybe some things aren’t meant to be shared or maybe my relationships are not as close as I thought them to be. At this point in my life, I’m clueless.

Whatever the case, the result is always the same. I seem to push people away instead of bringing us closer. I seem to bring hurt with my honest feelings, instead of healing. I seem to be harsh, when all I want to do is clear the air. I’ve been confronted on my “stuff” enough over the years. It hurts, but I get over it, learn, and move on. Should I expect others to do the same?

So what do you think? Do these relationships really exist? Should I just forget it and continue in the easy surfacy friendships that are fun and rewarding in their own ways?

If something is bothering me, should I just forgive and forget, even if it happens over and over again? Should I ignore my feelings, even if they get hurt and cause damage on my side of the relationship, and spare my friend’s feelings?

And last, do you desire this type of friendship and have you found it?

Sages of the internet, let your advice flow!

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Never Say Diet by Chantel Hobbs

What they Say:

Chantel Hobbs, a mother of four, recounts her struggles with obesity, body image and health in Never Say Diet. Realizing that choosing to live well was one of the best gifts she could give her family, Chantel is so excited to encourage YOU this Mother’s Day to take the small but meaningful steps towards a healthier life. Ditch the diet! Buy some new skinny jeans! And don’t forget to read the five tips to get your family fit this spring.

What I Say: 

I’ve been exercising regularly for several years now, but with each birthday came a few extra pounds. I had to face facts. I was getting older and my metabolism was slowing down. No matter how much I exercised the scale fluctuated five pounds. I could never break the invisible barrier.  I guess part of me didn’t think I could unless I really cut back on my food. But my draw to food was still strong and I was still eating more calories than I seemed to be burning.

Then I got Never Say Diet in the mail. I thought, “what the heck, it really couldn’t hurt.” My heart was desperate to shed the last 20 or so of my baby weight, but my mind just gave up on it ever happening. When I started to read Chantel’s story of weighing over 300 lbs. and getting a healthy, lean, I started to get encouraged. Her no nonsense writing style was refreshing especially since it came from someone who was severely obese and not a skinny, size zero personal trainer. The one thing that Chantel said, that I had known, was that I needed to change my brain about food. I don’t know whether it was her book, or summer and not really feeling like cooking big meals, but I started to see a change in my appetite. I didn’t really feel like eating as much as I had been, plus I started increasing my workout intensity and I actually saw a drop in the scales.

I remember, before this book, telling my friend how it seemed to try and diet and that I really needed a gift from God. A gift of weight loss to get me motivated again. Well, it only took two pounds and I felt my hope rise. Maybe I can actually lose the weight!

Though this week has been wrought with one birthday party after the other, and I did indulge in cake and ice cream several times already, my normal meals have been less, and I’m sticking to what Chantel said to do. The first month of her commitment to get fit, she only concentrated on exercise and still ate the way she used to. So I’m still on track. I’ve been working out 20-30 everyday with increasing intensity and it feels good to sweat a little more than usual.

I’m not all the way through the book, but I’m excited to be on this journey in hopes and anticipation that I’ll never say diet again!

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I think it’s time for a hair cut! My hair is all the way down to my waist and my hairdresser mom (who’s living with us while her hand heals) keeps bugging me about it. About three years ago I let it get this long and then I donated it to Locks of Love. It looked like this several months after I cut it! I’m not wanting to go that short again.

When it started growing again, I thought I would do it again. Well, I think it’s long enough to donate. What do you think?

I’d like your help picking a new hairdo! My hair has pretty much looked the same all of my life because I don’t blow it straight! So keep that in mind when you send your suggestions via a link to a photo on the web. Sorry, there’s no prize for this contest and there’s a chance I may not even pick a winner from your suggestions, I just thought it would be fun! And please don’t stare too long at the lousy photo below!

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This past weekend we took the kids and my mom to the local circus. It’s always a thrill to sit in the big arena and watch all the animal, dare devil and acrobatic acts. Though while my eyes flitted from ring to ring trying to soak it all in I noticed my little girl was more interested in finding the cotton candy man.

During some of the acts, especially they extremely long animal acts, I found my mind wandering to book plots and titles. I can up with two cozy mysteries. One taking place in a circus! I guess only time will tell if they will ever come into being

But it wasn’t until later, when I got home that I began to see my life was like a three ring circus, and I’m trying to perform in all three!

There’s the ring of parenting, writing and faith and throw in my renewed effort to really work on being the best wife I could be!

I’m certainly not the main attraction in any of these arenas. In fact, often times I feel more like the lion tamer fighting off parenting problems, writing interruption and faith distractions. But still I’m on stage, putzing along, doing my best and hoping that maybe just maybe one day I’ll get it right!

Okay, this analogy is really hurting and I guess it’s a testimony to how tired and scattered I am. But you get the meaning of this post. Maybe one day I’ll be able to write a really good post about my life as a three ring circus. Until then, I’ll keep jumping from ring to ring!

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If you’ve been following my blog these last few weeks you already know I’ve been feeling a little stressed out and over committed. Simplify by Paul Borthwick was just what I needed. And God knew it even before I agreed to participate in this book review.

Everything about this book is simple. The cover, the easy to read content, the helpful ideas and bullet points. Reading it evokes a sense of calm. The author has divided the book into categories such as Discerning Want Versus Need, How Do We Spend Our Leisure Time, etc. and after a brief explanation, he breaks the chapter down into easy to follow suggestions on how to simplify that area of your life.

What I love about the book is that it doesn’t expect me follow all the suggestions, (and thank goodness since there are 106 of them!) but breaks them down into categories and smaller suggestions so that you feel you might be able to conquer several in each chapter and obtain the simplicity you’re desiring. What’s also neat is to go through the list and say, “Yeah, I’m doing that!” I plan to highlight the sections I’m already doing and try to add to it to further simplify my life

Here’s a little preview of the content:

#3 Resist Temptation

An article in a local paper described customers at a local “bargain” store as “People Shopping for Things to Need.” Stay away from shopping centers or malls except when you have a specific purchase in mind. Don’t surf the Internet gazing at all the stuff for sale on eBay or at the website of your favorite clothing, technology, music or DVD store. Window-shopping in all forms induces buying. That’s why professionals spend so much time decorating the windows, jazzing up their websites, and bombarding your Christmas mail with catalogs.

#20 Give it Away

Go through your house looking for things you consider useless that could help someone less fortunate.

Go through the closet and give away clothes you have not worn in a long time or may never wear again.

Donate useful (but unused) furnishings and appliances cluttering your attic and basement. From thrift store revenues, the Salvation Army funds many of its urban outreaches to the poor or alcohol-dependent.

Take the family to serve a holiday meal at a soup kitchen. It builds thankfulness, teaches you and your children to serve without reciprocation, and suppresses those self-indulgent tendencies that surface during the holidays.

#36 Exercise with Someone

If I exercise alone watching an aerobics instructor on TV, I am more inclined to be lazy (or even grab a snack while exercising). On the other hand, if my wife and I exercise together, there is accountability and less of a tendency to cheat (see Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

#50 Take a Rest with God

Meditate on the Psalms, or examine texts like Matthew 11:28-30. It will bring your perspective in line with God’s.

We live in a culture that says, “He who dies with the most toys wins.” Distinctly biblical concepts like contentment (Philippians 4:11) or freedom from the love of money (1 Timothy 6:6-10) remind us that biblical leisure is a time for refreshing and recreation, renewing and resting our body and soul.

#100 Do the Hardest Tasks First

Put those dreaded tasks at the top of your “to do” list and take care of them first. Procrastinating only makes them seem harder and keep them on your list for weeks.

Whether it is paying the bills, going to the dentist, or calling Aunt Mabel, do yourself a favor by tackling the tough assignments first.

Convinced you need this book? Great! I’ve made it simple for you to get your own copy! Go here to order yours!

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It seems that I’ve been so busy doing…(field trips, shopping, baking, blogging, laundry, cooking) that there hasn’t been much time to enjoy my family. There’s always something that needs to be done and being the choleric that I am, I usually make time to do it.

Some of the things I do are really good. Like my daily exercising which I’ve been consistent at for months. (Which is a good thing after all the cookies I ate while baking!) But some of the things I do can be postponed, shortened or eliminated. Hopefully during Christmas break I’ll be able to get back on track, prioritize my day better and spend more of the fun times with Grace and the boys.

I really do miss being the fun mom!

UPDATE:

I have this really great schedule over Christmas break that gives plenty of time for playing with my kids, but alas I got my Zune Mp3 player in the mail (a belated b-day present to me) and I’ve spent HOURS trying to figure out how to download my writing conference Mp3 cds to my computer and then to the Zune! After giving up on their instructions, I just used logic and I’m in the process of uploading/downloading/whatever to the Zune now. The kids are way past their video game limit but I’m afraid if I quit now I might forget how to do it!!!!

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I want my first published novel to be amazing. Something worthy of one of those medals they put on the front of the really good books. I don’t want it to be something I cranked out that fits into a publishable mold.

Reality check! If that’s the case I’ll probably be fifty before I’m published!

Unfortunately, I think my first novel won’t be anything spectacular which is probably not such a bad idea. Think about it, if you have an amazing first book, everything else has to be better. What if it isn’t?

So if I start of with a run of the mill (albeit Gina-style novel) should I really look down on myself? If it’s just good, then there’s a whole lot of room for improvement.

The one thing I know that is standing in the way of that amazing novel is the voices outside of my head squelching my inner voice. I’m learning there’s a fine line between voice and bad writing. I’m trying to figure out where that line is.

But until then, I will try and craft the best story I can, now! If it sells, great! If it’s not great, I’ll live to writer another day.

Still a part of me dreams of writing that amazing, heart tugging story that just makes the reader sigh at the end and think about it for days!

Maybe someday!

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It’s the night before I leave for ACFW, and I’m starting to doubt this whole writing thing. Maybe I wasn’t meant for publication, at least not the mass market fiction I’ve been reading lots of in the CBA.

For one, I don’t read romance, and I don’t really want to write it. But I keep hearing my WIP needs to conform if I want someone to buy it. I’m all about learning and growing as a writer, but I don’t want to compromise what I believe and feel, just to be published. I don’t want to sell out, so to speak. I don’t read romance, so I surely don’t want to write it.

When someone tells me they don’t like that my character did something immoral or dishonest, or kissed someone that’s not her husband, I can’t see the big deal. The person is NOT a Christian, for crying out loud, and I believe I gave that person enough baggage and motivation to do just what she did, but it turns some people off. Maybe they’re not may target reader. But then who is? People who don’t buy CBA fiction? Then I start thinking, is an editor or agent willing to take a chance on me because I stray from the well beaten path just a little? I don’t think so. I think publishing has a double standard. They say they want something different, but are they willing to take a chance on it?

To be honest, in the last six months I’ve only read one story I really loved and it was a YA novel, really out of the box with a character not very likable, but I felt he was relateable. Despite the fact that I didn’t like what he did, I loved the book! I LOVED IT!

So all that to say, I’m having really serious doubts and lack of energy right now to do what it takes to get published in the CBA. Like I said, I’m not afraid of rejection, and hard work, etc. It’s just being someone I’m not, or writing something I don’t want to write that bums me.

Maybe I’m looking at this all wrong. Maybe I haven’t found my genre yet, who knows? I’m just not sure anymore!

What do you think?

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Chris has always been a gifted singer. At an early age, I noticed he had a gift for singing and enrolled him in Kindermusik. His pitch and tone amazed me, especially since I can’t sing and always wanted to.

At the age of 6 he would mimic the Lion King’s “I just can’t wait to be King” song and sang it beautifully. He would often get complimented and offered solo parts at school.

I signed him up every year for musical theatre classes until he started to grow tired of the long and boring practices. Singing was no longer fun, so I didn’t push him to take classes

Chris has always been a reluctant singer. He sings when he wants to and he doesn’t ever want to be put on the spot. Whenever I ask him to sing for someone, he never does.

He’s been in several play and musicals, and enjoyed the performances, but not the rehearsals.
The most recent recital he did was High School Musical. His teacher (a former Broadway performer) said Chris had the talent to go all the way to Broadway if he wanted to. He just needed the desire.

A there in lies my problem. I have a talented son, who’s been gifted by God with a voice that brings tears to my eyes, but he doesn’t want to use his gift.

There’s a local community production of High School Musical coming up and I want him to audition. He’s doesn’t. “I’m not really interested in plays that much any more,” he said. To be honest, the only thing he’s interested in these days is video games.

So what do I do? Do I push him to audition, and become one of those annoying stage moms? Or do I let him hide his  gift under a bushel until it’s snuffed out?

There are not many opportunities in our town for musicals for boys his age. This production of High School Musical is one of them where he could possibly get the lead.

A part of me knows to let it go, but another part of me knows my son and if it resembles anything like work, he wants no part of it. I try and tell him that sometimes you have to take the parts you don’t love, to one day get the parts you do.

I’m just saddened by his lack of interest in using his incredible talent. It won’t be long before his voice starts to change, and I’m afraid if he doesn’t sing through the change he might lose his gift.

Does anyone else have a child reluctant to use his/her gift? If so, how do you handle it?

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Email addiction!

Lots of people have it. If you don’t, you’re probably in denial!

I really didn’t miss checking my email twenty bazillion times a day when I was on vacation. So what is the urgency to check it every five seconds? Okay, I’m exaggerating, but I think you get what I’m saying.

Is it need for validation? To know that someone is thinking of me?

Is it a need to solve someone else’s problems or requests? To Get R Done, so to speak?

Or is it just procrastination?

Like Michael Hyatt (and almost everyone else with email) I check my email first thing in the morning, then throughout the day and last thing before I go to bed. During the school year I resolved not to go on line BEFOR lunch. On the times I did this my day was very productive. I need to do it again!

If you want more time in your day check out this link! It just might help!

http://www.michaelhyatt.com/fromwhereisit/2007/06/breaking_email_.html

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Do you ever feel like the Winter Warlock in Santa Claus is coming to town? The one who is all grouchy and scary on the outside, but deep down he has a heart of gold.

He masks his pain with a frozen layer of ice and snow, and reeks havoc on those around him.

Yet it’s interesting to see that the one thing that melts his heart of ice is a gift. It’s not just the material gift that does the trick, but the the caring that begins the melt down process.

Someone actually took the time to love the Winter Warlock despite his ugly, cruel outward appearance.

Over the past several years, I’ve felt like the Winter Warlock. Grouchy and mean with a heart of ice toward my family on more occasions than I care to admit. I think moms are more susceptible to the “Winter Warlock Syndrome.”

We give of ourselves on a daily basis over YEARS, without much appreciation and gratitude from those we serve. At least that’s how it is for me. And who wouldn’t get grouchy without a little pat on the back every once and a while.

But like the Winter Warlock, the layer of ice which hides our soft maternal layer, can be melted away. Sometimes it’s an unexpected hug from a child, or a surprise dinner out. Those things are wonderful, but soon after they’re over and things return to normal, the melted ice can refreeze. So how did the Winter Warlock do it?

He put one foot in front of the other. One step at a time. One day at a time.

And so will I with the help on the Jesus, whose given me the best gift of all and the best example of how to live my life!

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Tonight I went to see Broadway’s Don Quixote. Though I vaguely knew the story of the crazed man who fought windmills, I didn’t know God would use this story to speak to my heart. Filled with interesting and wreched characters (which completely contrast with Don Quixote’s virtues of honor, love and valiancy), the story took me to a place I didn’t expect to go.

The harsh character of Aldonza, a self-proclaimed whore, touched my heart. She wore her pain and self-hate on her sleeve, her heart hardened to everyone including herself. At first she made fun of Don Quixote, like the others. His vision of her as Dulcinea, the virtuous virgin, perplexed her, but also intrigued her. She couldn’t stay away from him. Why couldn’t Don Quixote see her for who she really was, a wretched whore born on a dung heap and would die on a dung heap?

Yet, he insisted she was Dulcinea, the most beautiful and virtous woman he’d ever met. His lady, the one he’d fight for on his quests.That’s when it hit me. I’m Aldonza, a wretched sinner in the eyes of everyone except my Don Quixote. My God.

Aldonza couldn’t accept Don Quixote’s vision of her. But when things got bad enough, when she had enough of Aldonza, she sought out Don Quixote and wanted to be his Dulcinea. She needed to be his Dulcinea.

We’re all Dulcinea’s in the eyes of God, but like Aldonza we can’t see it and those around us can’t see it also. Yet, someone saw past her sin to the person she was really meant to be. Dulcinea.

How I wish someone here on earth would see the Dulcinea in me, but mostly they see Aldonza. Yet, I can’t let that stop me from believing I am who God made me to be.

I am Dulcinea.

God’s beloved.

His lady!

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Why are the things meant to be fun, like a field trip to the zoo, always a struggle? The idea was simple. Go to the zoo. Bring our nature journals and write a few things about the different buildings.

It’d be an easy school day. Right?

Not with my kids. I can’t remember how it all started but my 12 year-old wasn’t excited about the zoo. When I offered to drop him off at his dad’s office to do school work he got real interested in going to the zoo. But by then he had already complained about breakfast (after he got up late, and didn’t brush his teeth or make his bed) and then he proceeded to boss his sister around.

By lunch I had taken away and given back his privilege to go to the zoo several times. (Yeah, I know lousy parenting! But this weekend I took all his toys away and he really seemed to get the idea that he didn’t have to earn fun! So I wanted to give him a second chance to change his behavior.)

Then in the car he (along with his 9 year old brother) feels the need to verbally tear down his younger brother. I then give said brother the opportunity to let the two of them go to the zoo or not. The older boys apologize and younger brother says they could go.

You’d think that would be the end of the trouble. Wrong! 12 year-old whines about not knowing what to write at the first zoo building (his 9 year-old brother has no problem following instructions, by the way) and my 4 year-old runs wild throughout the building.

SIGH! We manage to get through four more buildings with a little more ease, though chasing Grace is still the high point (or should I say low point) of the adventure. A little more struggle with the writing assignments, and we’re finally through the homeschool portion of the zoo visit.

I loosen up, and let them run from exhibit to exhibit. We play at the park, and things go smoothly for while (except for wrestling Grace out of the alligator pit, kidding!) until the very end when I’m tired and exhausted from giving instruction after instruction. “Come here. Let’s go. Don’t do that. Yada, Yada, Yada.” And it’s mostly directed to two of the four (can you guess which two?)

So we’re in the last building and I’m getting ready to leave when I call to them several times, but they are still chattering away, NOT LISTENING, being loud and excited. So I decide to leave the building, sure that they will soon follow. Well, they didn’t. Not right away, anyway. I went back in and met them in the doorway.

When they finally figured out I was gone, Grace refused to come with them and thankfully my 12 year-old had the sense not to leave her. Tired and frustrated, I said we’re going straight home when I had fully intended to ride the zoo train back to the entrance! Instead we walked.

On the way back to the car, 12 year-old decides to parent his younger sister a few more times, driving me totally up the wall, but I kept my cool and told him he better be a cop when he grows up because he loves to tell people what to do.

So here’s my question to all you parenting gurus! What’s wrong with this picture? With my kids? Am I the only one who finds it hard to enjoy my kids especially on field trips? Am I too uptight? (Okay, I know the answer to that question already.)

I know what’s wrong with me, and I’m working on it. Yes, I’m a little too choleric (Get ‘er DONE) and melancholy (Get ‘er done RIGHT) for my kids’ own good, but why can’t they WALK nicely like other kids I see. Why can’t they do as they’re told the first time like some kids? And why can’t they talk with an inside voice when they’re INSIDE!

And here’s the million dollar question…why has my 12 year-old been fighting for control ever since he could walk and talk? I hate to say it, but it’s days like these it’s hard to like my kids, let alone tolerate them.

The biggest quandry of them all…why did God feel I could handle three high-spirited kids. ‘Cause I can’t!

So maybe this isn’t about them, but about me. Maybe I have them because I need them so God can do a work in me. Well, if that’s the case I’m not getting the big picture here because things aren’t getting better. I’m trying to learn how to parent these kids, but maybe I’m too dense. Maybe there’s too many of them! Who knows! All I know is that I’m feeling more and more comfortable with sending them somewhere to school next year. It might be just what our stressed out relationships need!

Sorry, but all you moms who spin a happy, funny tale out of days like these, I don’t get it! What am I missing?

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reprinted 2006

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I used to sit in church and pray that God would just “zap” me and make me the person I really want to be. But after thirty plus years I’m learning that God doesn’t work that way - for most of us.

For years I’ve struggled with certain things, personality flaws so to speak. I’ve blamed it on my Italian New York upbringing, my parents divorce, the critical people in my life, etc. While that may be part of who I am, it’s not the whole me and I don’t have to continue to be the person of my youth.

I’m learning that just because I read a parenting book or go through a 12 week Bible study, doesn’t mean at the end I will be miraculously transformed. I can’t begin to tell you how many books I’ve read on the same subject and I still struggle with the same things.

…be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Renewing. I guess I could break out all the concordances and go back to the original Hebrew or Greek to find out the origin of this word, but to me it means continual. I need to feed my mind continually so my heart will be bathed in the truth and love of Jesus Christ. Reading a book on parenting isn’t going to change me. But when I continue to read books, meditate on scripture and pay attention in church, then my mind will be renewed on a continual basis. Then I will be able to stand against the enemy as he throws his fiery darts my way.

Do I still wish God would just “zap” me and end all my struggles? Sure. But I don’t pray for it as much as I did before. I don’t except to be miraculous transformed, instead I continue to renew my mind and one day “when He appears, we (I) shall be like Him, for we (I) shall see Him as He is. (1 John 3:2)

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That worships song about “getting back to the heart of Worship” keeps playing through my mind on the first day of this new year! I know my focus on this blog has strayed over the months, mainly because of trying to make it something it’s not supposed to be and gain the appoval of man. So with the new year comes new hopes and dreams nicely packaged as resolutions.

I haven’t figured them all out yet, but for one, this blog will get back to the heart of what God wants me to write about. Encouraging other writing moms (and dads if you’re readers). So there’ll be less Memes, less WFMWs, less striving to please.

But there will be more inteviews with writing moms, (Lisa Samson and Susan May Warren top the list in the new year), more about my writing and faith journey, more about family, and more about life as I see it. More truth, more struggles, more failures, more triumphs, more victories in every area of my life. So if you’ve been with me for any amount of time, thank you, thank you, thank you. Your comments have encouraged me to keep going down the road God has called me.

There’ll be a change coming in blog address and design, but the heart and content of this blog will remain the same. I hope you’ll follow me, but most important I hope you’ll follow Jesus.

I’m getting back to the heart of blogging. What about you?

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If you spend any amount of time browsing or reading this blog you know this question is not referring to my fundamental belief that Jesus is the Son of God.

So who is Jesus, to you?

Is He still a tiny baby in a manger who you think about once or twice a year? Someone you pray to only when you want something, and when your life isn’t going as planned?

Is He a friend in time of need, someone who sticks closer than a brother? Someone who’s there for you when everyone else seems not to care?

Is He your Savior? Someone who knows the ugliness of your sin, and loves you enough to take on your sin so you could be reconciled with God?

Is He your Lord? Someone you’ve surrendered your life to? Someone you not only love, but strive to be like and serve?

Jesus has been all these to me at different stages in my life, but right now I need Him to be Lord over my life.

I’m hoping to re-establish Jesus’ lordship over my life this next year. I’ve fallen into some laziness and bad habits in certain areas of my life which have kept me from experiencing the fullness that God has for me. I believe if Jesus regains control of these areas in my life than I will be back on the path He has for me.

So who is Jesus?

If you don’t know, now might be a good time to figure it out.

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I have a confession to make. Okay, well it’s not actually a NEW confession because I’ve stated it here at Portrait of a Writer many times.

There’s a HUGE little part of me that needs daily comments validation from you people, and I could probably delve into my dysfunctional past to tell you all the reasons why, but I won’t.

But whenever I visit the popular blogs and see their loads of comments every so often the little voice in my head whispers, “only three comments on your post, you can do better then that. Go leave a bunch of comments and maybe they’ll come over to your side.”

Then there’s the urge to keep up my blogging relationships. To stop in and comment because it’s been a while, and if I don’t they might not be my blogging friend any more. I know that no one else has felt that way, right?

Well, while driving the other day I think I’ve finally been freed of my competitive bloggingness, or at least the chains have been loosened a little.

I had a revelation amidst the backseat chatter and bickering.

I’m not really a blogger.

I’m a writer who blogs.

Taking the mundane and spinning it into a funny tale is not my forte. I usually tell it like it is without all the bells and whistles, straight up without the sugar coating found on many of the entertaining blogs.

Most of my creative energy is spewed on the pages of my novel, so when it comes time to my blog, I relax a little and let down my hair. (Yeah, I know this post is full of cliches, but that’s what I love about blogging, I can write without having to follow a bunch of rules.)

If you want plot twists and interesting characters (at least I think so) then I can do that. My blog stories may never make you laugh, but you can be sure they’ll be full of truth and honesty.

I also realized that I really don’t fit into any blogging niche. That’s why I started Writer…Interrupted. A blog/webring for writers who are interrupted in their craft by daily living. I guess I’m slowly realizing that God didn’t call me to fit in, and I may never get the comments I crave, but that’s okay. I’m where God wants me to be.

I’m a writer who blogs, not a blogger who writes and that suits me just fine!

But please leave me a comment, just in case! !

For more writers who blog, or bloggers who write visit the Carnival of Christian Writers.

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I came across this article I did for a magazine that was never published and since the holidays are upon us, I think it’s worth a second look! Maybe I can learn a thing or two.

Stress…It’s all around us. Some stress, like the situation the world is in today, is beyond our control. Other stress, like the pressures of our daily lives, is manageable. Whether you’re a stay a home mom with four kids or a working single, everyone experiences stress.

Stress is not caused by what happens to us, but by how we deal with our circumstances. It is possible to control our levels of stress by first changing our behaviors and thoughts. No matter what kind of pressures you are facing, how you deal with stress will affect your attitude and quality of life. Stress is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to control yours.

TIME ALONE
Nurture. It’s what women do best … except when it comes to themselves. The challenge for women is to put their needs before the needs of their families
So before you jumpstart your day taking care of others, first fuel yourself. If there’s nothing in your tank, you won’t get very far. Whether you choose to get up early to exercise or have some quiet time later on in the day… do it for yourself and don’t feel guilty about it.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
In addition to daily quiet time, women need time away from their responsibilities. Scheduling a “girl’s night out” once a month is one way to stay connected with friends and yourself.

It’s also important to take care of yourself physically through exercise and proper nutrition. Becky Long, nutrition consultant with the Shaklee Corporation says, when you are stressed your body produces adrenaline to help handle the crisis. “This adrenaline rush helps you through the immediate problem, but causes depletion of several nutrients. The nutrients used up during stress are B-complex, Vitamin C, calcium and magnesium. By adding supplements you can counteract many of the effects of stress on your body,” said Long.

“If stress continues over long periods of time, the immune system is weakened, you get sick more often and may be irritable,” explained Long. During stress your body also produces another hormone called cortisol, which can damage every organ and affect long-term health. “Our Stress Relief Complex has been designed to help blunt cortisol production.” It promotes calmness at the same time allowing you “to be more alert and concentrate during times of stress”.
GET ORGANIZED
Schedule time to get organized for the day’s events. “You need to make a list and set realistic goals,” said Susan Butler, of All Things Organized.

Valencia McNatt, of A to Z Organized Solutions, agrees with Butler and says to determine what things you really need to accomplish and give them priority. “Also determine what things you can delegate and what can be relegated to another day.”

One tool Butler suggests to help get organized is their Household Organizer. “It has a to do list, family schedules, calendars and even a grocery list,” she explained. “If you’re going to be a list maker it’s important to have it all in one place and know where it is.”

KEEPING HOUSEIt never fails. You go over to a friend’s house and notice how clean their home is. You silently wish your house could look as orderly as theirs. Reality check. Your friend has probably just spent three hours scrubbing and straightening up anticipating your arrival. Or maybe she knows the secret to keeping her house picked up.

“Everybody needs a pick up basket,” shared Butler. “If company is coming everyone can throw things in the basket to be put away later.”

Another great way to get things done is to have the kids help. “Children as young as two want to be included,” acknowledged Butler. Besides picking up toys, young children can help dust, sort laundry, set and clear the table, unload the dishwasher, carry in groceries and sweep the floor. Just remember they won’t do every perfect, but at least it’ll get done.

Kristeen Popken, of Kristeen’s Angel’s Cleaning Service, knows first hand if you take time to maintain your home, you may only have to deep clean once a month. One of the easiest and quickest way to make your house look like you’ve been cleaning for hours clean is to vacuum and touch up the kitchen floor. “You can vacuum or use a swifter, and then spot clean with a wet cloth,” said Popken. “I always go over the ledges and baseboard with a wet cloth. It helps create the illusion of a freshly mopped floor.”

Using a micro fiber cloth and the hottest water possible when you clean kitchen counter tops will also cut down on your cleaning time. “I use Miracle Cloths because they help break down the buildup on countertops,” shared Popken. She also recommends using Clorox wipes or baby wipes for a quick touch up in the bathroom.

CLEARING THE CLUTTER
So you’ve mastered the art of cleaning, but are still overwhelmed by that one closet or desk that is a disaster area. You have several choices. Ignore it in hopes that the mess will go away, hire a professional organizer like Susan Butler and Valencia McNatt or tackle the project one step at a time.

Butler suggests setting small goals and working for 15 minutes at a time. “Look at the most frustrating part of your house and start there. Don’t start another thing unless you have that one thing done.”

“You have to make staying organized a habit,” said McNatt. “If you take the time and energy to dig out of disorganized living, then it only takes a small investment of time daily and weekly to stay organized.”

Making decisions is the key to staying organized. “Our clients hire us because they feel frustrated and overwhelmed. We help them make decisions,” said Butler. Butler encourages her clients to “save, store, share or subtract” their things. First determine if it’s something you have used or will use in the next year. If not throw it away or give it away. If you can’t part with it because of sentimental reasons, you can always store it.

DO WHAT YOU CAN
No matter how many things we put on our list, the reality is it won’t all get done. But don’t stress out about it. Consider it a victory if you accomplish only two. Learn how to refocus your expectations not on perfection, but on consistency.

“Be sure to give yourself credit and praise for what you did accomplish,” shared McNatt. “And don’t stress over what didn’t get done.”

It’s important for busy women, especially moms, to enlist the help of others as much as possible. “Get your family involved in organizing so your work load will be less,” said McNatt. “Make up helping games for younger children and give them praise and rewards for a job well done. You can train your older children by allowing them to work along side you. They’ll learn life skills and to value what it takes to run a household.”

DON’T OVER SCHEDULE
You and your family should set personal and family goals every year. It’s important to write them down so when you are faced with choosing to take on another responsibility you can determine if it fits into your goals. Butler says if it will help you reach your life goals than feel free to say yes. But if it doesn’t, don’t hesitate to say no.

Realize children can get stressed also. It’s not necessary for every child to be involved in every sport, every season. Determine what is best for you and your family and evaluate how your schedule is working each season or semester.

STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE FUTURE

There are some things that are totally out of our control. Just look at the world around us. There’s so much going on and if we let it, fear can easily control our lives. It’s important to look at the big picture and not at the “What ifs?” Be aware of what’s happening around you, but don’t let it control your life. Your life has enough worries. Don’t add any more stress to it than necessary.

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I admit it! I crave validation! From people! Though I know my true worth is NOT found in how many comments I get or if I am nominated or win a blog award. My validation is in Christ! The fact that He was willing to give his life for ME should be enough, right?

I’d also be lying if I said I wasn’t competitive and loved to win. But this post isn’t about having a pity party. And I’m not even thinking about myself, though that’s what sparked this post. I’m thinking about this competitive society and the need to be the best at things. Even something so innocent as a way to bless others by giving them an award, could actually be used to depress and discourage many others.

So though I nominated others for this award and I’m happy to say my nominees made it to the finals, and I’ll most likely be voting, I still need to ask the question “Why do we feel the need to put SOMEONE in the top position, to honor them so to speak when so many of us bloggers out there are doing an amazing job uplifting, encouraging, and making others laugh? (talk about a run on sentence!)

Is it just me? Or do these blog awards resemble high school popularity contests, validating many of the ones who already have the popularity, numbers and the comments, while bringing to the surface the insecurities all us average Joe bloggers already feel about ourselves?

Is it wrong in saying, maybe we should nix all these blog awards? Jesus never played favorites. (Okay, well, maybe he did with the disciples.) But I can’t help think that one person’s blessing, could be one hundred others’ disappointment, and that’s not what Jesus was about.

So what do you think? Should I be impressed every time I see an award button on the side of someone’s blog? Or maybe I’ll make up my own award! Most Loved Award by Christ! That’s one contest we would ALL win and a button we could ALL display proudly on our sidebars!

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