Three Months and Counting…
Wow! I can hardly believe it’s been three months since I worked on my WIP. For over a year I’ve been going at crazy pace, staying up past midnight writing, getting a babysitter on Friday’s so I can write for a couple of hours, and then writing often times on the weekend, not to mention critiquing my critique partners work during the week and usually right after dinner and through bedtime. Sometimes I’d even forget about making dinner!I know my husband is really happy I help with bedtime now.
The longings and desire to write are less intense with each passing day. Sure, I’d still rather be writing than struggling with my kids to sit down and pay attention to a lesson, but there’s no longer an ache in my gut or an itch to write. I know it will happen in God’s time, and when I have an empty nest there will be plenty of time to write. So I keep telling myself. 🙂
Yet, I do have a fears. Fear that I will not be able to get back into my WIP when the time comes. Fear that if I do get a green light, I’ll forget to slow down when the light flashes the yellow caution sign. Fear that God will want me to abandon my current WIP to work on another.Fear that I’m holding back in my complete obedience. Even though I’m not working on my WIP, this blog is still writing. Am I like King Saul who when God told him to kill everything, King Saul spared the pagan king and some animals for a sacrifice. Saul held back. Am I?
I admit sometimes I still stay too long at the computer and run to it before God, but the computer doesn’t consume my waking moments like my WIP did. I also feel that through this blog I’m able to work out my spiritual journey and focus on God. Notice the verse of the day on this blog. That’s for my benefit. A little reminder to get into the Word, even if I only have a couple of minutes to do it.
So do I have all the answers? No. Do I completely understand what God is requiring of me? Not really. But like Ronie Kendig pointed out in her interview, writing is therapy for her. It is for me to. Believe it or not, I’m an introvert. And we introverts need lots of alone/quiet time. Unfortunately, homeschooling doesn’t allow for much of that so I try and steal a couple of minutes throughout the day on the computer. I just don’t linger as long as I used to.
I also feel the Lord is telling me that this is a season on learning. Jesus didn’t start his public ministry until he was 30 years old. Well, I’m several years past 30, but I still have a lot to learn in every area of my life.
God is calling me back to the orginal plan of why we decided to homeschool. To help our kids grow and mature in certain areas. The thought of trying to relearn some bad parenting habits is daunting, but I know as we all grow in our relationships with one another, God will offer lots of Grace and forgiveness.
I feel this is also a season of learning in my writing life. I started reading several writing books over the past year, but never finished any of them before I jumped into a new WIP. I’m a little scared to start reading these books again because I don’t want to awake the desire within me to write before it is time. So I will proceed with caution.
When Jesus stepped out on his own at twelve, he wasn’t ready for his ministry but went to the temple courts to learn. He sat among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. When Jesus’ parents found him in the temple, they didn’t punish him for stepping out, they gently rebuked him, and Jesus submitted to their authority and left the Temple. So that’s what I will do as I continue on this journey. I will gently step out from time to time, making sure I’m still seeking God’s direction, and if I’m led astray, I can only pray that God gently steers me back down the path He wants me to go.
