AWOL Mom: Day 2

We rushed out the door to go blueberry picking this morning and we all had a great time. Of course, yesterday we read Blueberries for Sal. It was 9:30 am by the time we got there and most of the bushes were picked over. We still managed to pick 5 lbs. of blueberries.

Afterwards we had a discussion of what we wanted to do today. Swimming, movies, bowling. They really couldn’t make up their minds, so I decided for them, but said “first we have to make sure the dishes are clean and put away.” This sent my 11 yr old into a little rant.

“Why do we always have to earn fun? Blah Blah Bah.”

I pulled out lecture 132 and told him all about having to do chores before we have fun. And that the Bible says if you don’t work you don’t eat. Then I listed off all the fun he didn’t have to earn. Like going to Disney World every other year, or the family swim pass at the water park, or the movie matinees. You get the idea. He eventually saw the light, stopped complaining and apologized.

I can understand where his 11 yr old mind is coming from. This summer I instituted the “you get to play as much Play Station time as you practice piano or your typing.” I got the idea from a friend and since he doesn’t like to practice piano or typing, it has really helped!

They cleaned the kitchen rather quickly with not much complaining or reminding of what they needed to do. I asked my 6 year old to unload the dryer and he whined a bit. But I asked him whose clothes they were. He said, “Mine,” and then he grumpily did the chore.

Then we headed off to Pizza Hut to cash in our Book It coupons. I decided to get my 11 yr. old the buffet and the younger 3 got the personal pan pizzas with the coupons. Last time we went my 11 yr. old got the buffet and my 9 yr. old wasn’t happy. This time he threw a fit. Not the kicking and screaming kind. More like I’m going to shut down all ability to think and reason and not talk to anyone, except whine like a 2 year old.

I tried compromising with him, no deal, I tried telling him the pizza on the buffet wasn’t exciting, alot of veggie stuff. Still more whining. I even said if he wanted to use his money to buy a buffet for himself he could. He refused. His older brother offered to buy him the buffet if he stopped whining. He refused. I told him I was sorry, it was unfair, but we needed to talk about this or I’d have to call dad and he’d miss the movie because he’d be going to dad’s office. Still wouldn’t budge.

Luckily dad was literally 2 miles down the road so I called and he showed up. My son calmed down, but my hubby informed me he would eat 9 yr. olds pan pizza and let him have the buffet. I said no go. It’d be like giving Veruca Salt a golden goose. I tried to compromise with the boy, tried to get him to talk, but his anger consumed him. I remember this happening once before.

My husband almost had to wrestle the boy into the car (totally unlike my son who is usually the most compliant child I have. Yesterday he had no problem doing the extra chores.) Finally the thought of missing the movie coaxed him into the van and I reminded him of the last time this little fit happened. I told him he probably needed to eat. Once he got some food inside of him he’d be able to think straight.

And guess what, I was right. After the first couple of bites he calmed down and literally came to his senses. He was smiling and said, “You were right mom.” So I learned a huge lesson. When my son becomes so rigid in this demeanor, not wanting to compromise or talk it out, I need to feed him. Could be a low blood sugar thing, but I was so happy to have my fun loving son back.

After the movie, it was pretty uneventful. Hubby brought home Subways, but I was prepared to show my sons how to microwave the frozen chicken sandwhiches we have in the freezer.

So what have I learned thus far:

Setting limits really works. I don’t need to yell to get them to do things, I just need to let them know that if they don’t work as a part of this family, then they don’t get to have fun.

I realized I rely on my older two too much to do the chores and my 6 year old can help with laundry as well as my 4 year old.

I’m learning that sometimes it’s worth having a messy house just to keep the peace, and I need to lighten up my expectations especially in the summer time. (Today they started making a fort in the livingroom.)

One thing I’ve been stressing this week is that we’re a family and we need to help each other. If we all work together than we can get the job done faster. I hope this week will teach them that and let them see just how much work I do do.

Confession Time:
I wiped the stove once and put away a bib left out on the counter. I also put away my own dishes and pick up after myself, but that’s okay! I want to teach them to do the same by my example.

Tomorrow we’re stranded without a car, and we’re babysitting a three year old. It should prove to be interesting since I have some “schooling” planned.