There’s Nothing Coy About Shirlee McCoy

Okay, forgive the lame title. I just couldn’t resist.

Shirlee McCoy is a multi published inspirational author for the Love Inspired Suspense line of Steeple Hill. She is a wife, mom to four whom she homeschools and someone I’d like to be when I grow up!

Photo: Giordano Photographics

Welcome Shirlee! Can you tell us a little about your family and your call to homeschool and write.

I have four kids (ages 5- 11) and have been married to a wonderful guy for twelve years. I’m certified in elementary education and was teaching fifth grade in public school when I found out I was pregnant with my first son. Deciding to homeschool wasn’t really even a discussion between my husband and myself. We just knew it was what God wanted for our family.

My call to be an author came more subtly. I’ve always been a writer, but it wasn’t until my third son was born that I realized I was wasting another God-given gift. While homeschooling often feels selfless, writing can often feel self-serving. Being a published author seemed so much my dream, rather than God’s plan. What I’ve realized is that God does not give us gifts He does not intend us to use. To that end, I work hard at writing and leave it to Him to determine my success in it.

Wow! Those last two lines really spoke to me! Thanks, I needed to hear that!

Why is homeschooling the right choice for your family?

It fits us. I enjoy it. My kids enjoy it. Yearly standardized testing proves they’re excelling. I wouldn’t say it’s a calling so much as a lifestyle choice. However, I do think it’s what God wants for our family. The way I see it, I can send my kids to school and go teach someone else’s kids, or I can put my time and energy into teaching my own.

What do you do to encourage yourself during those stormy days every homeschooler has?

I remind myself that this is only a season in my life. That it will pass quickly. That I’d better hold on to every moment, eke out every bit of joy, because one day soon my kids will be grown and gone and I’ll be left with clean floors, an empty laundry hamper, and memories.

Do you think it’s possible to give yourself fully to raising children, home schooling, writing and keeping in shape?

In my life I don’t feel I can give all these areas 100%.

Is it possible or should I stop striving to do it all and just do what I can and not feel guilty about it?

Did you have to mention keeping in shape? That I am not! However, I do have an answer to this question because I’ve spent a good portion of the last few months thinking and praying about this very subject. Here’s what I learned: the only thing we should be giving 100% to is our relationship with God. Everything else we do is a byproduct of that. When we are right with Him, we don’t need to fret about the rest of it. We still have to do the rest of it, but we don’t need to fret. He will make the time we need. When we put Him first, our priorities become clear and we can more easily focus on each task He’s given us to do.

Very well spoken/written. Definitely spoke to my heart again!

So how do you balance being a homeschooling mom, wife, and writer?

The answer to this is actually related to the answer to the last question. Just as we cannot give 100% to everything in our lives, we cannot even hope to find balance in our busy hectic worlds. To seek it is to find frustration. After three years spent juggling way too many things, I finally realized a sad truth. Spending three years juggling makes a person too tired to do much of anything else. So, I gave it over to God. I handed Him the wife ball, the mother ball, the teacher ball, the writer ball. I even gave him the cleaning, cooking, and laundry balls. In doing so, I freed myself of a very heavy burden. I still have a million jobs to do, but I do them one at a time. I focus on my kids, or my husband, or my writing and I don’t let those other things float over my head or drop into my hand. When I get overwhelmed, I remember that the balls aren’t in my hands, they’re in His, and He is a much better juggler than I am.

How do you position yourself to HEAR God’s voice when all the noises of life are swirling around you?

God speaks in so many different ways. Through His word, through our pastors, through friends, family, and the quiet prodding in our souls that tells us when we’re on track, or wandering away from where He wants us. To hear Him, all I have to do is take the time to listen. That means different things at different times. Mostly it means really long showers, but sometimes it means sitting on the front steps at dusk, or waking extra early to sit in silence.

Do you ever feel like you’re neglecting your children when you write?

No. I really don’t. They know they can interrupt me when they need me. Plus, my writing desk is in our kitchen right next to our homeschool table. We all work together. In many ways, my writing has become a family event. My boys like to help me plot. My husband comes up with interesting ideas. When I’m on deadline, my desk gets piled high with papers, we don’t go to the park as much, and my kids and I count down the days until our manuscript-goodbye party. The day I’m ready to mail the book out, we go to the post office together, wave goodbye to the package (the post office lady has started waving back and promising to take good care of our “baby” for us), and then we go somewhere to celebrate.

Uh, you said you have a five year old. My four year old clireekhe walls, raids the frig and wreaks havoc on her siblings if I turn my back. How do you keep your youngest happy and occupied?

Oh, your little angel sounds so much like mine. Emma Grace is soooo busy and she just loves to get a rise out of her brothers! When she was three, I bought her a Barnie laptop toy. That kept her in her seat at the kitchen table for about six minutes at a time. Now that she’s five, I buy playdough and craft kits. I usually spend a half hour or so doing something crafty with her before I write. Because Emma (and my third son, Seth) are such busy kids, it’s really important for us to have some type of outside activity every day. Generally, that means a trip to the park or a walk in the woods. I find Emma is much calmer and more content when we’ve had outside time before I try to do any writing. Also, I signed her up for gymnastics when she was three because she was so active she was making me nuts! She’s taken to it and now goes to the gym two days a week for an hour and a half. The boys and I stay at the gym, so it’s kind of hard on us, but it gives Emma something that is just for her and helps release some of that energy she’s got.

All that aside, the most important thing I do is talk to Emma about the importance of her role in the family. Like everyone else, she has a job to do. Sometimes that job is simply being kind to her brothers while I work. Helping me get my work done by entertaining herself for a little while is part of her responsibility as a member of this family. Team work is the name of the game in the McCoy house. If we work as a team to help each member of the family achieve his or her goals, things go well. If we’re only out for ourselves and what we want, then things don’t go so well. Even a four or five-year-old can understand that.

If you do feel your priorities slipping, what do you do to get back on track?

I have one priority. To have a right relationship with God. When that slips, everything else goes with it. To get back on track, I spend time praying and really listening to what God has to say to me. Sometimes it’s simply that I’m not spending enough time studying His word. Sometimes it’s that I’ve put other thing ahead of my relationship with Him.

Has there ever been a time God told you to set aside your writing to focus on other areas of your life? If so, how did you handle that?

That hasn’t happened to me. I’m hoping it won’t. If it does, I’ll have to be obedient to Him. I’ll feel like I’ve had an appendage lopped off, but I’ll be obedient. .

Waving at you with one hand!!!

Did you ever feel like you’ve missed God in regards to writing or homeschooling, that maybe you should be doing something else?

There are times when I am so completely overwhelmed and exhausted that I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. At those times, I remind myself that things don’t have to be easy for them to be right. Sometimes the things God most wants us to do are the things we find most difficult.

When do you find the time to write, and how do you handle interruptions in your writing life?

I usually write at the end of the day when homeschool is done and the kids are playing. Interruptions are part of a busy house. I just answer the questions, intervene in the bickering, fix the snack, and send everyone on their merry (or not so merry) way.

How do you get back into the flow of writing after you’ve been interrupted?

I grew up in a very busy house. I thrive on noise and activity, and I can quickly get back into whatever scene I’m working on no matter how many times I’m interrupted. The only time interruptions bug me is when I’m deadline, and even then only when I’m behind and feeling pressure. I’ve had to learn that the writing will get done, the dishes will get done, the laundry will get done, the cooking will get done. One thing, one moment at a time. To fret and worry about any of those things only steals the joy God wants for me. Instead of worrying, I try to throw myself into whatever I’m doing without thought to everything else I have to do. If I get interrupted, I try to focus my whole attention on whatever has interrupted me without frustration, anger, or irritation. Sometimes I’m successful.

Tell me about how you got your first writing break.

Hmmm, it wasn’t really a break. I’d written two really horrible books and submitted them. I got great editor response, but no one wanted to buy the manuscripts. However, Melissa Endlich, from Steeple Hill, told me she’d love to see anything else I had. I had nothing, so I went to work writing another book. I was on bedrest at the time, pregnant with my last child. It was a trying time, but it was also the time when I learned that writing well does not mean an author is writing a good story. As I revised the manuscript, my perspective shifted and I could suddenly see the mistakes I was making. I rewrote the book and sent off a query a few months after Emma Grace was born. Seven months later I received a request for the complete manuscript. Eleven months after that, I sold STILL WATERS in a two-book deal. God’s timing. That’s the key to writing success. No matter how much we struggle and work, in the end it is up to Him.

What do you write and why this genre?

I write Christian romantic suspense for Harlequin Steeple Hill. I kind of fell into that. My first book, STILL WATERS, was more women’s fiction/romance with a touch of suspense. My second was meant to be the same, but my editors asked me to shorten it for the new romantic suspense line that was being launched last year. The next thing I knew, I was a romantic suspense author.

What do you hope to accomplish through your novels?

I never sit down to write thinking I’m going to share Biblical truths, or teach valuable life lessons. However, I’ve learned through reader mail that my books do impact people’s lives. I’ve gotten mail from women who have had read my books during medical crisis, family upheaval, job troubles and other difficult times, and they have found great comfort in my stories. So, now, even though I still purpose to entertain, I pray that God will reach who He will with what He will through my writing.

What advice would you give to writing moms?

Don’t let your kids and husband become your excuse for not fulfilling the dream God put on your heart. On the other hand, don’t let your writing dream keep you from being the wife and mother you should be. The only way to do this is to set reasonable, achievable goals and meet to them as often as you can. My daily goal is 2,000 words. If I meet that goal, I can write a Steeple Hill book in one month. Five hundred words a day would net me an 80,000 word book every six months. When a writer begins to work consistently rather than obsessively, she will fulfill her dreams without feeling guilt that she’s stealing time from her family. Please note that I didn’t mention laundry and dishes in that sentence. My house is clean and usually tidy. It is never spotless. Laundry, dishes, floors, stairs, are things that can wait. They don’t grow up, move out, or make money. They do tend to morph into bigger messes if not taken care of, but bigger messes can be cleaned. Missed times with kids can not be reclaimed.

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Knowing God’;s will isn’t always an easy thing. Doing it isn’t either. To think that we should be super-moms and super-writers and super-wives and super-maids is only asking to be filled with depression, guilt, and anxiety. God has not called us to be super anything. He has called us to be His. That is our one true calling. When we focus on that, we spend less time worrying about everything else. This is a lesson I am constantly learning. Perhaps, by the time He takes me home, the lesson will have stuck.

Wow! I am speechless because my heart has really been ministered to! Who knew that a simple comment on my blog could lead to this interview and great blessing. I’m going to have to go back over this interview more than once.

Thank you so much for agreeing to do this interview. I pray that God blesses you, as much as I know you’ll bless others here, as you write, raise your children and pursue His calling in your life.