Getting Real About Love
On this day of love, I feel so unlovable!
I’ve felt that way the most of my life. Alone. Lonely. Unlovable. Unloved. Since I was very young, all I wanted was for someone to love me. I found that someone in Jesus at a young age, but sometimes I just needed something more tangible.
Thankfully God spared me from finding false love while young and impressionable. But a part of me is still searching for that tangible, unconditional love. Is that unrealistic? For flesh and blood to love me unconditionally. Maybe it’s a pipe dream, maybe not. But most days I feel alone in my journey, that I’m fighting a battle alone (many times against members of my own family) and it gets tiring.
I am so torn between the person I want to be, and the person my family sees. I long for what I don’t have. I hope for what I don’t have. And I don’t know how to rush things, to be the person my family needs. We’re all tired of the conflict and strife that invades our daily lives, and I don’t know what else to do, but pray. I probably don’t pray enough. Add that to my growing list of faults.
If you’ve lasted this long, sorry to rain on your Valentine Day. But I felt the need to get real. Partly for selfish reasons and partly to reach out to others who feel the way I do today.
I know not everyone feels loved on this day of love, if that’s you, don’t be afraid to feel what you’re feeling, but don’t stay there! God cares, people care! Hold tight to truth. God so loved YOU He gave His only son for you so that you might have eternal life! Now that’s love! And that’s what I’m clinging to!
