Tough Love
I’ve tried it all from authoritative discipline to non-punitive parenting, and I can say for certainty. Nothing works! At least with my kids.
I’ve given up on the hopes of my children being perfect obedience little angels. I honestly think it goes against their high-spirited, strong-willed nature. One day they might be leaders, but for now my only goal now is respect.
The back talk and arguing from my little WIPs has pushed me over the edge many more times than I care to count. And it’s mostly my fault for letting it go so far, but in all honesty I really want to be fair and hear them out. They just can’t accept “no” no matter how many times I say it.I don’t usually give in easily, that’s why our arguements escalate. And they usually don’t get what they want, but they try!
This morning we were having a discussion about a devotion we did the other day about a “froward,” arguing mouth. We’ve also been learning about discretion, thinking before they act, and the Armor of God, dodging the fierly darts of the enemy. So I issued them a challenge. “Pick one thing you’d like to work on. You don’t have to be perfect, but I want to see you catch yourself if you start to argue, etc.” Then I explained to them if they met their goal they could have PS2 time this weekend. They usually get 30 minutes each on the weekends which they think is cruel and unusual punishment.
Well, this sent my Choleric/Sanguine oldest into a frenzy. I’m surprised he didn’t call Amnesty International. “Why do we always have to earn fun?”
“You don’t have to earn fun.”
“You never just let us play. We always have to work for it.”
“PS2 is a privilege not a right. And what about all your toys in your room?Do you have to earn the right to play with them? Do you play with them before bedtime? Did you have to earn that playtime?”
Some more “looks” and grumbling from son and I very calmly said, “Okay, take all your toys out of your room and put them by my door. Everything. Your Star Wars figures, your games.”
He looked shocked, but he complied. Now I guess he’ll really see how it feels to have to earn fun.
The kid just doesn’t get it that in life you have to do the hard stuff first before you get to play. He thinks he deserves to play and have fun no matter what! I sure hope he learns fast the hard lessons of life!
