Playing Favorites?

Do you have more than one child? Then chances are you’re playing favorites. Hmmm. How does that make you feel.

As an oldest, I hate the thought. As a teenager and young adult, I was quick to point out to my parents each time I thought they didn’t treat me fairly. I thought that happened frequently.

I was sure they had it in for me. All responsibility and rules while my siblings got off scott free.

Now that I am on the other side of parenting, I’m not so sure. My six-year-old is probably convinced I don’t make the three-year-old do enough chores. “He gets to pick out all the videos, the books.” Fill in the item he gets to pick all the time. And he’s convinced she gets to have all the fun. And steal his candy and fruit snacks.

I try so hard to be a fair arbiter and judge. Make sure they get treated equally. But frankly, half the time I really don’t care who gets to pick out the next VeggieTale or pick the treat. And it requires way too many brain cells to keep track of those details in the day-to-day race called life.

Then I look at the Bible and wonder if my carelessness in doing everything I can to be fair to each of them could cost me more. You see, Genesis is filled with examples of how a family can implode when favoritism occurs. Isaac and Rebekah launched a war between their two boys which rages to this day when they pitted Esau and Jacob against each other. Then Jacob — being the quick learner that he was — did the exact same thing to Jospeh. The results there were disastrous even though God used them for immense good. Joseph was sold into slavery — a foreshadowing of what would happen to all of Jacob’s descendants in a short timeperiod. His brothers led Jacob to believe Joseph was dead — all because of a special coat which symbolized so much more.

So, I sit here today typing this and thinking that I want to be on guard to favoring one child over another. I can recognize and nurture the unique gifts and talents each child has. But I must do so in such a way that does not value one more highly than another.