Tough Love

I’ve tried it all from authoritative discipline to non-punitive parenting, and I can say for certainty. Nothing works! At least with my kids.

The back talk and arguing from my little WIPs have pushed me over the edge many more times than I care to count. The other morning we were having a discussion about a devotion about a “froward,” arguing mouth. We’ve also been learning about discretion, thinking before they act, and the Armor of God, dodging the fiery darts of the enemy. So I issued them a challenge. “Pick one thing you’d like to work on. You don’t have to be perfect, but I want to see you catch yourself if you start to argue, etc.” Then I explained to them if they met their goal they could have PS2 time this weekend. They usually get 30 minutes each on the weekends which they think is cruel and unusual punishment.

Well, this sent my Choleric/Sanguine oldest into a frenzy. I’m surprised he didn’t call Amnesty International. “Why do we always have to earn fun?”

“You don’t have to earn fun.”

“You never just let us play. We always have to work for it.”

“PS2 is a privilege not a right. And what about all your toys in your room?Do you have to earn the right to play with them? Do you play with them before bedtime? Did you have to earn that playtime?”

Some more “looks” and grumbling from son and I very calmly said, “Okay, take all your toys out of your room and put them by my door. Everything. Your Star Wars figures, your games.”

He looked shocked, but he complied. Now I guess he’ll really see how it feels to have to earn fun.

But aren’t we the same with our writing careers? At least I was a year ago. All I wanted to do was write. What? The kids needed to be fed and laundry done? Hey, that could wait, couldn’t it?

I’m like my son, I wanted to have the fun and glory before doing the hard stuff, the necessary things. I’d rather write than clean house, and I wanted my WIPs to be genius, even though I hadn’t put in the time to make them great.

I’ve had to learn my lesson the hard way. God’s tough love put my writing in perspective and although I’m stray from the course every so often, I quickly find my way back.

I think my son learned his lesson as well. He realized he doesn’t have to earn fun, but he does have to do things he doesn’t like, like school work and making his bed, before he can play. It may not be what we want to do, but it’s what we all have to do. And it makes the “play” all the more rewarding when we do!