The Possibilities

This article appeared in the April 07 issue of the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers newsletter

In my twenties, I had a framed quote from Emily Dickinson that said, “I Dwell in Possibility…” and I lived by that. I had the whole wide world of writing before me and while I had no idea where it would lead, I knew I would keep doing it forever.

In those days, I was essentially a granola girl living just next door to the Sierras and in my mind, doing homework while sitting on a log and brushing ants away was normal. It was pure. Even though I carried a full-time course load and worked two part-time jobs, I was a prolific writer; the quintessential English Major and an All-American Girl wrapped up in one creative bundle. I wasn’t thinking much about publication back then (only just a little), but writing was my life.

Ah. The dreams we have when we are young and have seemingly unlimited time ahead of us. The writing trek isn’t the same for everyone, but if we aren’t careful, we can get so caught up in seeking publication that our writing suffers and we rob ourselves of the satisfaction of the journey.

You probably want to hear me say, hang in there and don’t give up. You can get published! And it’s true, but the one thing I’m learning about having a book deal is that publishing isn’t going to validate my life. I don’t write faster, smarter, or have more confidence as a result of being contracted.

As excited as I am about my book’s impending release, my writing journey is more complicated now than it ever was back when I was young and still dwelt in possibility. Nowadays I tend to think more about the possibilities of not meeting deadlines, my books bombing, or that I won’t be able to pay bills and will eventually end up flipping burgers.

The joy of being contracted is definitely amazing. I will stand up and testify to that! But I feel compelled to warn my writing brothers and sisters that a book deal won’t substantiate your life all that much. Don’t wait until then to revel in being a writer. I won’t even quote the statistics that reveal the truth of how many people will actually ever see a book contract. The possibility of getting published is a dream we all have and it’s one worth having, but your inner motivation needs to be something bigger than the hope of getting published or landing a book deal.

Is it possible that writing the story swimming around in your soul could be more fulfilling than seeing your book bound and in a bookstore? Consider whether or not you are writing because you love the mere act of writing itself or if you’re working so much on your quest to be published, you’ve lost track of the fun of telling stories.

Write because you must, people! Write because so many possibilities are running through your mind you have to purge them – or you’ll go mad. That’s the place I want to get myself back to. As for writing stories, I want to dwell in possibility again.

Sometimes I feel a little like someone discovered I could sing in the shower and decided to put me up on stage. A good singer isn’t a natural performer and writers, especially novelists, more often than not aren’t that good at being outed from their ivory towers.

So while nothing will ever be the same now, I’m still going back. Maybe not up to the top of my tower (the marketing folks wouldn’t like that), but back to being ensconced in my writer’s mind where the possibilities flow free. Just give me a plain, leather journal and a good pen.