Homeschool Reflections
As this year of homeschooling comes to an end, I thought it would be fun and interesting to take a trip down memory lane. So I’ll be posting a series of homeschool posts from my past (old dead blog) every Thursday and reflecting on what I’ve written and if things have really changed. It should be an educating journey.
January 2004
My oldest son has always had a strong personality. I can remember when he was 2 ½ years old we watched him sing in his pre-school recital. He was the one who yelled, “Daddy”, and left the stage to give his dad a hug when he arrived late for the recital. He was the one who insisted on having the “lebo” (yellow) butterfly, and while I was videotaping and everyone else was clapping along with the song, he was the one who very loudly told me to, “Clap, mommy! Clap!”
Like I said, I always knew he had a strong personality. When he was in pre-K, he tended to boss the other children around. But if they didn’t want to play what he was playing, he was very content to go dig in the sand by himself. His teacher gave him the “Most Inquisitive” award that year. In kindergarten things were pretty much the same. He would correct his peers, correct the teachers, and even correct his parents. But it wasn’t until first grade that his behavior seemed to be a problem in the classroom.
From about the first week he seemed to be getting in trouble with the teacher for talking out when he wasn’t supposed to. He tended to get in spats with this one child. And even though my son said this boy would ask him questions or talk to him first, we all know that he who talks loudest and last gets in trouble. So he spent the first semester in the back row with his desk separated from the rest of the class next to the teacher’s desk.
We really didn’t know how bad it had gotten for the teacher until we had that before Christmas break conference. It seemed that Chris would be out of his seat a lot (he later got glasses in 2nd grade) and would ask the teacher questions and make comments without being called on. But after we talked with him and his desk was put back in the rows with the other children, things started to be better. Everything seemed to be fine the rest of the year.
Still, we had already determined that the accelerated class of 24 kids he was currently in was probably not where he needed to be. So we researched other schools and talked with a child psychologist about what environment would be best for him. The doctor didn’t seem too concerned about his behavior and said he was probably just a bright child. So we found a classical Christian school that believed in small class sizes and didn’t have the children stay at school full time until they were in 3rd grade. Chris had a wonderful, compassionate teacher who was full of grace for him. She appreciated being corrected by my son and commented how he would always delve deeper into the subject matter and notice details others didn’t. But his talking out and interrupting was still a problem.
In third grade we decided to attack the problem head on after he was sent to the principal’s office the second day of school. After meeting with my son, the principal very wisely determined it wasn’t a heart issue, but maybe that of self-control. So the teacher started keeping track of how much he talked out and interrupted and even though she gave him grace he’d still come home with 7 – 9 interruptions a day.
We tried having him write scriptures about self-control for as many times as he spoke out, but that only extended his homework time and didn’t really help his behavior. Then he was required to run laps, with the other kids who got their name on the board. Still, he continued to interrupt, even with the principal was in the room! It was like he had no control over what he was doing. We tried rewarding him and that helped, but it’s hard to be consistent and keep daily track of his behavior and remember to give him Chucke E Cheese coins as a reward.
Then we were called to the principal’s office to discuss the matter with Chris’s teacher and ways we could help him. We really didn’t come to any revelations. They asked what worked at home. Inside I was secretly hoping they would tell me what worked at school. 🙂
But determined to help our son, we gave him a goal of asking one question per period and he actually stayed focus and accomplished the goal. I asked him if he felt good about doing it and he said, “It was miserable.”
That was yesterday. Today wasn’t as good. So that brings me to where we are now. I’ve made an appointment with a child psychologist who specialized in testing children who are having difficulty in school. Yes, this is the same man who we met with two years ago. I’ve also done a lot of research on gifted children, ADHD and even those who are gifted can, have ADHD. Any way, it’s all very confusing because so many of the characteristics are present in all of these kids.
I’d love the doctor to take a look at my son and know exactly what he needs and how to help him. I’m just afraid that he’ll say traditional school is not the place for him. That leaves me with two choices…home schooling or an alternative school. I don’t look forward to either of those options.
What a difference three years makes! Chris has really matured academically, and although we’ve battle other issues while homeschooling like getting along with siblings and staying on task, I can see the focus that’s there now that wasn’t three years ago.
He’s in a homeschool tutorial center this year and takes three classes one day a week. He’s getting A’s and still battles with excessive talking, but I guess that’ll be something he’ll have to deal with all his life. But I’m confident that Chris will do fine if and when we choose to send him back to school. In fact I’m sure he’ll thrive! And isn’t the bottom line!
