Life…Interrupted

So often we think we have things under control. Life is going along fine. Then it happens, that one thing you never expected. Or, you saw it coming, but the magnitude far outreaches what you imagined.

 Is God there? What is He thinking? How can I get through this?

 My greatest challenge these days is understanding that interruptions are a major part of God’s plan for my family at the moment. It’s a critical year of transition…transformation.

You see, my husband’s soul is at stake.

 As a writer, I can appreciate that as the makings of an amazing story. I can picture the book trailer now. The heroine throws aside her own desires and wants, just to overcome obstacles and battles, all to save her hero. All to bring him to the feet of Christ. And in the end, she realizes it really wasn’t her all along. It wasn’t even about her. Her character arc brings her to the humbling truth of God’s amazing power and plan. To the staggering realization that she played a part, an important role, but in the end, it was all God’s doing. (John 6:44)

 The end, finis, fertig.

 If only it could be that easy. If only I could be that perfect. If only I could read the book ahead of time, so I would know exactly what to do. (Insert hysterical laughter here.)

 As a wife and mother in real life, I’m finding my character arc has sagged a bit. (Not to mention other areas, but we won’t even go there.) My focus has been more on me, and how these “interruptions” wreak havoc in my own life and interfere with my plans. Then comes the guilt. Aren’t I the heroine of the story? Why can’t I so willingly put aside my goals and desires, and serve God in the greatest way possible?

 After all, a soul is at stake.

 But I’m no heroine. Just a very flawed human in need of God’s mercy. Each week I ask God for a Bible verse that I need—to study and memorize. This week he gave me Hebrews 4:16:

 “Let us then approach the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace in time of need.”

 He knew exactly what I needed. Lots of grace.

*Photo by Penny Mathews