Emotional Writing Rollercoaster

Boy, things are a mess right now! I was supposed to go on a writing weekend to a local Super 8 Motel. A friend of mine was going to meet me there for some “no talking just working on our computers” time. I was almost all set to go. All I needed to do was pack. Then I got an email from my girl friend’s husband.

Without going into too  much detail or history, they decided it wouldn’t be “safe” for her to go to a hotel where a shooting happened a couple of months ago and someone died. What? A shooting? In the hotel I was staying at? Hard to believe, but he supplied a link.

So I link over and lo and behold, someone went up to the window and shot in someone’s room and someone died. Okay, way to rock my world and send me into a tailspin. First, I’m prone to fear. Just mention something like this and my mind takes over. Second, my husband (when he heard) had no problem with sending me? So did my friend’s husband “cherish” her more than mine cherished me? My husband knows the hotel owners, does business with them, and we frequent a restaurant next door on Sundays. Are we putting ourselves in danger every time we go there? (Sidenote: Found out the shooter was actually pursuing the shooted. Still doesn’t make me feel any safer going to a hotel by myself!)

My logical mind says one isolated incident does not mean it’s an unsafe place. But my fear kicks in, and I do an online search for all articles on this learning as of two days ago they have two suspects in custody.

I have no discerning check in my spirit telling me not to go, but because I respect this family, this husband of my best friend, I doubt myself and my ability to hear God.

Last time I felt this way I was in Pensacola, Florida.  Traveling over the bridge out into the sea to a tiny little island where I could see the water on both sides, fear gripped me, like it has now. I let it go and trusted God a Tsunami wasn’t going to swallow up the island, though why shouldn’t it? It happened before some where else.

I gave it up to God, then that night dreamed of a Tsunami coming to the island. I wanted to leave asap. What if God was warning me in a dream? But my husband felt no concern and I “worried through” the morning, hardly enjoying the ocean as I walked on eggshells instead of the white sandy shoreline. Three hours later, nothing happened. It had been all fear, but I questioned whether it was a message from God.

Just like now. I also question whether the enemy has used my wonderful, God-fearing friend to sidetrack my weekend. I was going to write 10,000 words on my WIP. I had been planning this weekend for over a month. Me and my whole writing community was excited (albeit a little bit envious) about this opportunity. Is it shot? (didn’t realize the pun, until I proofed this paragraph:)

Hardly so. My hubby canceled the hotel room. And I’m figuring out a plan B. I’m sad about my lost hotel opportunity, but have a nother opportunity just around the corner…literally!10,000 words here I come!