Quick Fiction Fixes – Eliminate dialogue tags
We’re all busy, whether working full-time or chasing/chauffeuring kids around all day. Yet we’re also writers, striving to get our words on paper and then polish it to a sparkle.
This column gives quick fixes for fiction manuscripts specifically for busy writers. Pick and choose what works best for you!
Eliminate dialogue tags.
These days, editors prefer action beats to dialogue tags. Some are absolutely ballistic about them, some aren’t. It’s up to you, but I would suggest getting rid of as many dialogue tags as you can, just in case an editor happens to be a “tag nazi.”
Setup: Lex has arrived at her cousin’s baby’s Red Egg and Ginger party.
“Hi, Grandma,” Lex said.
“Lex! Hi, sweetie. You’re a little late,” Grandma said.
Translation: You’d better have a good excuse. “I’m sorry,” Lex replied. “I was playing grass volleyball and lost track of time.”
“You play sports too much,” Grandma said. “How are you going to attract a man when you’re always sweating? But that’s a pretty dress you have on.”
Lex said, “Thanks. Trish picked it out.”
“It’s so much nicer than that ugly floppy thing you wore to your cousin’s wedding,” Grandma replied.
Lex grit her teeth. Respect your grandmother. Do not open your mouth about something like showing up in a polka-dotted bikini.
Versus
“Hi, Grandma.”
“Lex! Hi, sweetie. You’re a little late.”
Translation: You’d better have a good excuse.
Lex thought about lying, but aside from the fact she couldn’t lie to save her life, Grandma’s eyes were keener than a sniper. “I’m sorry. I was playing grass volleyball and lost track of time.”
The carefully-lined red lips curved down. “You play sports too much. How are you going to attract a man when you’re always sweating?”
Like she was now? Thank goodness for the fruity body spritz she marinated herself in before she got out of her car.
“That’s a pretty dress, Lex.”
How did she do that? With as many grandchildren that she had, Grandma never failed to notice clothes, whereas Lex barely registered that she wasn’t naked. “Thanks. Trish picked it out.”
“It’s so much nicer than that ugly floppy thing you wore to your cousin’s wedding.”
Lex grit her teeth. Respect your grandmother. Do not open your mouth about something like showing up in a polka-dotted bikini.
Dialogue tags are easy to get rid of by inserting action beats or short pieces of introspection.
Also, dialogue tags tend to “tell” rather than “show.” Often, the tag is redundant because you already “show” in the line of dialogue what the tag “tells,” such as who is speaking, or who the person is speaking to, or how they are saying it.
For example:
“What you did was wrong, young man,” his mother said sternly.
We already know who’s being addressed, who’s talking, and how she’s saying it by her dialogue line.
SELF-EDITING FOR FICTION WRITERS by Renni Browne and Dave King talks about dialogue tags versus action beats.
