Quick Fiction Fixes – Dialogue info dumps

We’re all busy, whether working full-time or chasing/chauffeuring kids around all day. Yet we’re also writers, striving to get our words on paper and then polish it to a sparkle.

This column gives quick fixes for fiction manuscripts specifically for busy writers. Pick and choose what works best for you!

Avoid info dumps in dialogue.

“As you know, Bob, your mother left you at the age of five to run off to California with the family lawyer, leaving you to be raised by your bohemian grandparents. Do think it’s affecting your judgment about this child abandonment case?”

Be careful about dialogue that’s there just to inform the reader. Bob would know what his mother did, and wouldn’t need to be told or reminded.

Info dumps also make the dialogue sound stilted. So if you’ve been told in contests or by critique partners that your dialogue doesn’t sound quite natural enough or that it doesn’t flow well, info dumping might be the reason why.

“You’re too close to this case, Bob.”

“What do you mean?” He crossed his arms.

She spoke with a hitch of hesitation in her voice. “You were the same age as this kid when your mom . . .”

She didn’t have to say it. As a child, he’d vengefully prayed for an earthquake to swallow up both his mother and the ex-family lawyer where they lived blissfully in California, a continent away. Maybe he was too close to this case.

Some things won’t seem like telling at first, but at closer look they might:

She spoke with a hitch of hesitation in her voice. “You were the same age as this kid when your mom left you to run off with the family lawyer.” (Does Bob need to be reminded whom she ran off with?)

vs.

She spoke with a hitch of hesitation in her voice. “You were the same age as this kid when your mom left.”

Trimming info dumps requires you to go through your dialogue with a fine-toothed comb. Put yourself in your character’s skin—would they really say all that in dialogue? Would they be more vague or would they cut short their dialogue lines?

Another good resource is your critique group. Trim your dialogue info dumps, and then give the manuscript to your critique partners. If they’re confused, then you know you’ve cut too much. But if they’re not confused, then you know you’ve effectively cut the dross from your dialogue and made it sound more natural.