I’m a Mean Mommy

It’s true, according to my kids. And looking through their eyes I have to agree. But what they see as mean is really trying to gain respect and control of my children’s behavior. I mean to be firm, but it comes out harsh. Not the best way to change their little hearts and get them to do things my way.

This came in my inbox this morning.

Be Firm Without Being Harsh

“Some parents believe that the only way to be firm is to be harsh. Firmness says that a boundary is secure and won’t be crossed without a consequence. Harshness uses angry words and increased volume to make children believe that parents mean what they say. Some parents have assumed that firmness and harshness must go together. One mom said, ‘The thought of separating the two is like listening to a foreign language—it sounds nice but doesn’t make any sense.'”

Unfortunately I am a product of my upbringing and I’m afraid I’m creating little MEs in the process. Kids who are loud, and yell to be heard.

I don’t want to be harsh. I want to be firm, but loving. Yet, my kids don’t respond well to me, or rather they sort of gang up on me til I feel overwhelmed and resort to yelling.

I want to change. I can’t do it on my own strength. I need to remember more to call on God when I feel the harshness coming on me!
*This parenting tip is taken from the book, “Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids.” In Chapter 6 you’ll find more helpful honor-based parenting skills.