Quick Fiction Fixes – Low-tension dialogue
We’re all busy, whether working full-time or chasing/chauffeuring kids around all day. Yet we’re also writers, striving to get our words on paper and then polish it to a sparkle.
This column gives quick fixes for fiction manuscripts specifically for busy writers. Pick and choose what works best for you!
Make every line of dialogue have tension!
“Do you like seafood?” Bob asked.
“I love it,” Sally answered. “I’m allergic to crustaceans, but I like fish and clams and scallops.”
“I grew up in Seattle, so I was spoiled with the best and freshest fish.”
“That sounds wonderful. I’m so jealous.”
“This place has the best clam chowder in San Francisco. I can’t wait for you to try it.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
All dialogue should have some type of conflict. Exchange of information or small-talk is boring and slows the reading flow.
The characters don’t need to be fighting with each other, but there should be something one of the characters is fighting FOR. Fighting to hide information, fighting to obtain information, fighting to right a wrong, fighting to convince the other.
In the words of Randy Ingermanson (Advanced Fiction Writing E-zine), “Dialogue is war.” A dialogue with two strong forces has the energy to propel the story forward. It tends to be highly emotional, but at the same time very simple and direct (unlike actual conversation in real life).
“I didn’t realize you were allergic to seafood.” Bob glared as if she’d had her allergic reaction just to annoy him.
“Hey, I’m only allergic to crab, shrimp, and lobster.” Sally resisted the urge to scratch the hive on her derriere.
“‘Only’? What else is there to eat?” He flung his hands up in the air.
“Oh, I don’t know—fish?” What a jerk.
“You could have told me before we ordered.”
“Hello—you were ordering clam chowder, and I can eat clams. Why would I need to mention I’m allergic to shrimp when you’re ordering something that normally doesn’t have shrimp in it?”
The best way to have both emotion and simplicity is to lay the dialogue down first and then go back later to refine, cut, clarify. If a section of dialogue has low tension, go back and revise it. Add some point of contention. Be creative! You’ll be able to think of lots of neat ways to add conflict to dialogue.
Also, because dialogue is emotional, it also tends to be more give-and-take, more back-and-forth. In our modern publishing industry, it’s rare to have a character go on and on without the other character responding. Each character reacts to the previous line of dialogue.
