Parenting Power in the Early Years by Brenda Nixon
Brenda Nixon grew up, as the middle child, in Ohio, Brenda worked as a nanny and preschool teacher following college. She moved to Missouri where she married, had her first daughter, earned a Masters Degree in Religious Education, had her second daughter, worked as a hospital chaplain, parent educator, and then served as the parenting expert on FOX TV4 in Kansas City. In 2001, her first book Parenting Power in the Early Years was published and she, along with her family, returned to Ohio. Today, she speaks nationally, writes, and teaches on child behavior/parenting.
As a mom of two grown daughters, Brenda Nixon shares her insights into parenting and writing.
Please be sure to visit Brenda’s next stop on January 16th at Mommy Come Lately by Beth K. Vogt. You can also check out her previous stop at Unretouched Photo by Melodee. And Writer…Interrutped for interview on kids’ temperaments.
1. Tell us a little about your family and your call to write.
I’ve been married to my husband as long as I’ve known him. We met in February, had our first date in March and were married in November. Twenty-nine years and two daughters later, we’re still happily in love and married. I can’t say I’ve had a call to write; but I have a call to minister to parents across the board. My expression of that call is through speaking and writing in both the secular and faith-based communities. If you want a bit of history you can read an interesting write-up recently posted on my college website
http://www.olivet.edu/admission
2. How did you get your first “writing break?”
What I intended as a letter to the editor of a magazine, turned into my first piece of paid writing. The editor liked what I had to say and did a bit of editing on my letter, which he turned into an article. He phoned me to say he was going to publish and pay me. I was so new to writing that it surprised me to receive money for my opinion.
3. What do you write?
Most of my writing focuses on child and family issues; my consistent clients are in the Parenting Publications of
“Bedtime Resistance Remedy” http://christianwomentoday.com
“Waiting for Your Milk” at iparenting.com http://breastfeed.com/articles
“Guiding Kids through Grief” at cbn.com http://www.cbn.com/family
Also, I write articles on writing; here’s “Book Promotion Basics” at willwrite4food.com
http://www.willwrite4food.com
4. Do you have any recent contracts and up coming releases?
Thankfully yes. As I answer your questions, I have two book contracts with January 30 deadlines. So I spent Christmas and New Years at the computer. The first contract is a Christmas gift book scheduled for October release. This inspirational book of Christmas stories, fun facts, recipes, and more is a collaborative effort with five other authors and we’re all excited about its potential. My second contract, with Revell, is for a new parenting book schedule for release February ’09. Since parenting is my forte, I feel like I can sink my teeth into this project and have been researching different topics. This book is an issue-driven book covering early childhood parenting topics similar to my current book, Parenting Power in the Early Years.
5. What do you hope to accomplish through your writing?
In general, I hope to inspire and entertain readers. Specifically, when writing to parents, I hope to empower them through education and encouragement.
6. And now for the tough questions…How do you balance being a mom, wife, and writer?
Good question Gina. Fortunately, my daughters are young adults and out of the house. So I have the luxury of writing for hours on end in a quiet office…well, almost quiet. I like to listen to music, especially Il Divo, on my computer.
Balancing diapers and deadlines is tricky and I have colleagues who manage that task. I understand the challenge for those whose hearts are in writing, but their hands are in housework. When I began writing my younger daughter was in elementary school so I had at least 6 quiet hours to write. . . well in between laundry, housework, and meal preparations. What worked for me was to do everything I could while my daughters were getting ready for school. I wanted to be fully present and attentive to their needs. Then after they left for school, I said a quick prayer for them and sat down at my computer to focus on writing, making contacts about speaking or preparing for a speaking engagement. I took occasional breaks during which time I’d start a meal or throw in a load of laundry. When my girls came home from school, I usually turned off the computer and made myself available to them. If they didn’t need me for homework or taxi service, then I’d sit down and resume my work. From dinner on was family time. Sometimes after they were in bed for the night, I’d do more research for writing or speaking topics. My friend and fellow author, Trish Berg, is raising four youngsters. So she’s probably better at balancing bylines and babies than I. And I totally admire my friend Tricia Goyer, author extraordinaire, who homeschools her kids.
7. Is it any easier writing now that your children are grown?
Yes, but my children always have and will come first. If the phone rings and one of my girls needs to talk, I’m available to listen. There’s no door on my office, either, so family can walk in anytime and I’ll be responsive to their needs. My dh, Paul, respects my inner drive and passion and has, through the years, given me freedom to work without interruptions.
8. Is parenting your grown children easier than raising them while they were young?
Yes and no. How’s that for a straight answer, Gina? There’s more maintenance raising young children; feeding, bathing, laundry, driving them to and fro, packing lunches, etc. When they’re older they can do self-care and help with the household chores. I do believe in giving kids chores for many reasons. Occasionally, they phone home and need Mom. And you never stop thinking about and praying for your kids.
9. What would you say to moms who can’t wait until their children are older so they can write more?
Wholeheartedly embrace parenting now. Don’t sacrifice your relationship with your kids (or lay foundation for regret) just so you can write or do anything you consider important. There will always be time to pursue your interests; your young, impressionable children won’t always need you like they do now. I believe our children are our congregation and we must give them the time and attention they need to nurture them during these young years. When I’m speaking to parent audiences I often remind them that they can have it all . . . just not all at once.
I love that! I can have it all. Just not at once. How true!
10. What interruptions in your writing didn’t you expect once your children were older and out of the home?
Well, Gina, I can’t say I expected no interruptions. Unless you have an office in a high rise building, lock the door, and tell a secretary to hold your calls, you will have interruptions. How you handle them is an art form. Since I office from my home, many friends and some relatives think I’m always available and have a flexible schedule to play. I realize they can’t fully understand the demands of my work even if I’m home so they call expecting me to have free time. When I’m focused or have a tight writing deadline, I let the answer machine take calls and ignore the doorbell. The other interruption is my dachshund, Opie. While he’s my buddy and constant companion, sometimes he needs let out or gets anxious to go for a walk. Then I get up and attend to his needs. I figure he’s pretty patient so it may be my signal to give myself a break too. You know, the time flies when I’m working, so sometimes a little interruption is a good reminder to take a brief break.
The other — and dangerously addictive — interruption is what I call the virtual water cooler. I can spend hours in viral networking, answering emails, or visiting with colleagues on speaker and writer forums. While it’s important to network, I must discipline myself to get back to work.
I hear you on that!
11. Has there ever been a time God told you to set aside your writing to focus on other areas of your life? If so, how did you handle that?
I can’t think of a specific time I felt impressed to set aside my writing. But there are times when I know my hubby or kids need my attention and the writing can wait. I try not to obsess over writing and take planned breaks so I can remain fresh and focused when returning to work.
12. Did you ever feel like you’ve “missed” God in regards to writing, that maybe you should be doing something else?
Not me. I know God wants me to work with and serve parents today. Like I said earlier, my expression of that call is through speaking and writing. Once, after a speaking engagement in
13. Is there anything else you’d like to share?
Thanks for asking, Gina. I encourage writing moms to get connected with other writers. Don’t be a lone ranger. The writing life can be lonely and you desperately need to surround yourself with like-mined people who understand your heart and passion and with whom you can swap ideas, critiques, and industry news.
Also, make plans to attend a writer’s conference. I know it cost money and time away from family, but if you want to improve, network, and feel more professional you need to go to industry events. Below, are several upcoming conferences along with their website:
in
members/
Feb 28-
Paul McCusker and T. Davis Bunn. Includes a special Teen Track taught by Bryan Davis. More
information: http://www.flwriters.org/
//www.writehisanswer.com
and Jerry B Jenkins. More info: http://www.mounthermon.org
(Secular)
http://www.humorwriters.org
Lewis, Dan Benson, Brian Bird and Chip MacGregor. More info: http://www.occwf.org/
p://www.delawarechristianwriter
in
“Mini-Conference”.
include Mick Silva, Waterbrook; Don Pape, Cook; and Jesse Florea, Focus on the Family
magazines. More info: http://www.nwchristianwriters
info: www.avwriters.comMay 3, 2008.
Western Inn/Country Cupboard Restaurant,
.com/workshop.html
information: http://www.lifeway.com/lwc
.com/ (NOTE: I’ve taught at WTP and it’s a premier, well-organized conference. Highly recommended)
/www.dougtoles.com/upcominggosp
Sally Stuart, Jane Kirkpatrick, Robbie Hess and Lisa Crayton. More info: http://www.stdavi
dswriters.com/home.html
info: http://www.writewithpurpose
September 29-
atkins.gospelcom.net/sandycove
Gina, thanks for this opportunity to share with your readers.
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Happy New Year!
Brenda Nixon, M.A., Speaker, Writer, Educator, www.BrendaNixon.com
