Letting Go of My Novel

I’ve reached a milestone in my journey. I received a stack of ARCs (Advance Reader Copies) in the mail last week for my very first novel, Ruby Among Us. The first thing I did when I opened the lid of the box was get all weepy. I bawled all over the covers!

I was completely shocked by my reaction to seeing my book in print. Since I’ve put so much work into my manuscript, I have of course read it one hundred times if I’ve read it once. So I didn’t think it would be a really big deal. It is! Seeing my novel in book form for the first time is indescribable. I can’t imagine how I’m going to feel when I see it on a book shelf.

The crazy thing about receiving the ARCs is that I just turned in the last copyedits to production on Friday. Does that surprise you? It surprises me that an author can have ARCs circulating through the media while still putting finishing touches on the final manuscript. This is why the back of any ARC says something about it being an uncorrected copy. I can’t even think about all the mistakes.

 I thought about reading the ARC beginning to end, but after a few paragraphs I decided I wouldn’t dare. And the more edits I sent to the poor copyeditors, the more mortified I became that the ARC is imperfect. It’s like I sent my book out there without its coat on, or heaven forbid, its underwear. It wasn’t perfect!

I have been assured by my editor, my agent, my publicist, and published author friends that it’s very normal for an ARC to have mistakes and that the media expects them. All I can say is I hope they are right. Of course, I know they are. I have reviewed ARCs before and I noticed they weren’t perfect either, but when it’s your own ARC out there it’s more exciting and even stressful to think about.

Mistakes and all, it’s amazing to see my book in print for the very first time and I’m very grateful to the publisher for producing such a sharp looking cover. May 20th is coming up very quickly and my baby is almost out there. 

I feel like I did the first time I ever saw my daughter do a gymnastics routine up on the beam several feet off the ground.  I couldn’t look. I had to look. So I pressed my hands over my face and peered between my fingers. The biggest worry was that she would fall. 

Over the years, she has fallen a few times, but she always gets back up again. She’s done okay and has been the state champ two years in a row. But I’m still looking at my book with my hands over my face, peering nervously through my fingers, holding my breath…