Quick Fiction Fixes – Settings and Contrast to show emotion
We’re all busy, whether working full-time or chasing/chauffeuring kids around all day. Yet we’re also writers, striving to get our words on paper and then polish it to a sparkle.
This column gives quick fixes for fiction manuscripts specifically for busy writers. Pick and choose what works best for you!
Setting:
One of the best way to reveal character emotions and personality is to have a character respond to the setting rather than simply describe it.
Setup: The heroine is Betty, with an abusive past, visiting her parents’ home for the first time in years.
The crystal-paned bay windows followed her with a malevolent gaze as she approached the front double doors, as if to mock her for being forced to return after all these years. She imagined the white columns as teeth about the chew her up. Even the sunlight stung her skin. She forced her feet onward, step by step, keeping her eyes lowered to the blood-red flowers dripping down either side of the concrete walkway. The stiff wind from the bay slapped her cheeks and jerked her hair around her face. Why did she have to come back here?
The reader gets a picture of the setting, but they also get the character’s emotional response to it. Suddenly it’s not just a setting, it’s an emotional experience for the reader. They feel the character’s reaction, get glimpses into the character’s backstory, and extend sympathy for the character.
Look through your manuscript for a paragraph of setting description here or there, and see how you can make your viewpoint character emotionally respond to the setting.
Contrast:
Another great way to show emotion is with contrast. You can contrast the character’s emotions to another character, or maybe the surroundings.
The man’s gaze didn’t waver, and she shivered in the hot noon sunlight.
She turned away from the child’s sunshine smile, sodden and shivering from the thunderstorm in her heart.
Contrast can both intensify the emotion and enable ways for you to be creative in your emotional writing. Don’t fall back on clichés (like I did in the first example above, although the second example isn’t too bad). Be original and richly emotional at the same time.
Go through your manuscript. Look first at descriptions of settings. Can you tweak it so that it reveals the viewpoint character’s feelings about the setting instead?
Next look at areas where you can utilize contrast—usually scenes where the character’s emotions could contrast with the setting, or where two characters are feeling different things. Juxtapose the point of view character’s emotions with the setting. Show the point of view character’s emotions contrasting with how he/she perceives the other character’s emotions.
