Guest Blogger: Margie Lawson and Faulty Thinking Traps

February 22, 2008

What a wonderful response to this blog post. Due to comment moderation glitches all the comments were in moderation, but are now posted and will respond to the rest of the posts tonight! And remember the drawing for Lecture Packet will be 9PM Mountain Time?

Margie Lawson is a psychologist, hypnotherapist, presenter, and writer—teaches on-line courses and presents full-day master classes who taught the early bird session at last year’s ACFW conference. Her class and Deep Editing packet which I purchase later transformed my writing. I’m so excited she’s here to share with us!

GINA — Thank you for inviting me be your guest on Writer…Interrupted. I’m pleased to be here. :-)))

Here Be Monsters!

Beware: Faulty Thinking Traps

Monsters? Here? Among writers?

When faulty thinking rules your life, it’s a monster. Writers often sabotage themselves with faulty thinking. Negative thinking. They let the mind monsters win.

Can people manage their monsters? Manage their thinking? Manage their moods?

Sure . . . if they challenge their faulty thinking.

“Here Be Monsters” was printed on old nautical maps on regions that were uncharted. Sometimes cartographers drew beasts in those waters. Beasts devouring ships.

Our faulty thinking is like the imaginary beasts in those unknown areas. We allow negative thinking to grow and grow and grow until it takes over, dominating our thoughts. Dominating our lives.

Review the Faulty Thinking Traps below. You’ll find yourself, your spouse, teenager, mother-in-law, best friend, and neighbor in these thinking traps. Everyone you know thinks and speaks from several of these faulty thinking pits every day. Or — they’ve had a truly great therapist. :-)))

We can catch ourselves and learn to RETHINK.

As you read the FAULTY THINKING list, check off the traps that trap you.

FAULTY THINKING TRAPS

SELF-FLAWED Thinking: Nothing I do is good enough.

PERFECTIONIST Thinking: Things have to be perfect for me to be happy.

ALL-OR-NOTHING Thinking: If I cannot be all things to all people, then I’m nothing. I can meet needs of family or meet my needs—not both.

TELESCOPIC Thinking: I always feel like a failure because I focus on and magnify my shortcomings and ignore my successes.

BLURRED BOUNDARY Thinking: It’s hard for me to know when to stop, where to draw the line, when to say no to others.

PEOPLE-PLEASING Thinking: If I can get others to like me, I’ll feel better about myself.

PESSIMISTIC Thinking: My life is chaotic and stressful and full of misery and

despair. That’s just the way life is.

CATASTROPHIC Thinking: My life feels out of control and something terrible might happen, so I can’t relax. I must be prepared by always expecting the worse.

HELPLESS Thinking: I am helpless to change my lifestyle. There is nothing I can do to change my schedule and slow down.

SELF-VICTIMIZED Thinking: Other people and other situations are to blame for my overdoing, my stress, and my burnout.

RESENTFUL Thinking: I am bitter and resentful and will never forgive others for what they did to me.

RESISTANCE Thinking: Life is an uphill battle, and I must fight to enforce my way, resist what I don’t want, and cling to things to keep them unchanged.

WISHFUL Thinking: If only my situation would change, I could slow down and take better care of myself.

SERIOUS Thinking: Playing and having fun are a waste of time because there’s too much work that needs to be done.

EXTERNALIZED Thinking: Happiness can be found in the external world. If the outer circumstances of my life would change, it would fix how I feel inside.

WHEW! Those are deep traps.

Have you fallen prey to any of these thinking traps today? Yesterday? Last Week?

Can you consciously challenge yourself when you realize you are thinking/speaking from a faulty thinking pit?

Let’s look at those categories again and see what some writers may be thinking.

SELF-FLAWED Thinking:

“My writing will never be good enough to get published.”

“I’ll never get another contract.”

“I’ll never get on a bestseller list.”

PERFECTIONIST Thinking:

“I’ll never have this scene (chapter, book) written well enough to query. I keep rewriting, revising, and polishing. Every time I look at it there’s something more that needs to be done. It will never be good enough.”

ALL-OR-NOTHING Thinking:

“There’s no way I can do it all. I can’t take care of my family and write. I have to focus entirely on writing for hours at a time and I can never have that in my life. Not until the kids go to college. I can’t do both. It’s impossible.”

TELESCOPIC Thinking:

“The critique group hated that chapter. Every one of them thought I was a horrible writer. Bob and Mark didn’t say anything negative—neither did Julie, but they were thinking it. They didn’t have to say it. Susan said it all. My scene didn’t flow. It was choppy. I had a dangling stimulus with no response. Why did I ever think I was good enough to get published? Jeff said he liked the dialogue. He was just saying that to try to make me feel better. He didn’t mean it. I shouldn’t waste my time writing.”

BLURRED BOUNDARY Thinking:

“I have so many commitments, I don’t have time to write.”

PEOPLE-PLEASING Thinking:

“I’ve got to do everything I can for everyone else. It’s the only way I can feel good about myself.”

PESSIMISTIC Thinking:

“I’ll never find a time in my life when something isn’t falling apart. I have too much stress and my life will always be too chaotic for me to ever be able to settle down and write.”

HELLO – IT’S MARGIE –

I played with the first seven traps, if you like, get creative and fill in the rest. :-)))