Excuse Me if I Wax
I’ve been waxing philosophical lately.
I’m thinking deep thoughts of intellectual and spiritual enlightenment, reflecting on eternal truths and life lessons. It’s the kind of thing that happens when you reach a major milestone in life. You see that mile marker coming toward you and suddenly you want to turn around and look back at where you’ve been. Holy Cow! It’s been a ride!
You see, next week my husband and I will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. Other than the fact that we’re really too young say “Silver” anniversary, we are a little bit giddy about the event. We aren’t going to have a gala with a big cake in the church fellowship hall, just a quiet dinner at a restaurant with family members. We’ll steal away for a night at a nice local hotel and maybe pick out new wedding bands to replace our current ones, which are shot after a quarter century of daily wear.
But all this planning has gotten me to thinking, “How on earth did we make it this far?” We’ve experienced all the stressors that have laid waste many good marriages. Could it be that we’ve stumbled on to some Secret Truth, the Answer to a Great Marriage or the Fountain of Romance?
My head is hurting from such philosophical pursuit.
The truth is that we haven’t discovered anything earth-shaking at all. There’s no profound gem we’ve uncovered that would make for a best selling book. After all my soul-searching and mental gymnastics, I think the big secret to a successful marriage can be summed up in one simple word.
Kindness.
In the busyness of everyday life, kindness can be the first thing that gets jettisoned as you fight for survival. Snappy remarks, silent jabs, rolling eyes, keeping score, blame…when kindness leaves the room, it creates opportunities for all sorts of gremlins to do their work, and it’s not a pretty sight.
Over the course of 25 years, we’ve had our share of unkind activity. But somehow, we’ve always managed to crawl back to the place where we are willing to be kind, and that’s the place where love can be restored.
And kindness begets kindness. It’s diffused powder kegs of anger and softened our rough edges. It’s turned those dry patches every marriage hits into sweet spots.
I’m grateful for a man who has been kind enough to put up with my quirks and idiosyncrasies. Lord knows I’ve tested his patience more times than I care to recount. Kindness has given both of us room to be imperfect, and yet accepted. It’s an incredible feeling to know that the person who knows you best loves you the most.
Kindness does that. No waxing needed.
