Putting it all together to write your hook!

Hey Everyone!  Happy Fiction Friday!  For the last month we’ve been talking about HOOKing the reader you’re your story.  I hope you remember the SHARP acronym!

S-Stakes

H – Hero/Heroine Identification

A – Anchoring

R – Staring the story on the RUN

P – The problem or Story question.

Today, I’m going to give you just a handful of examples of how you might incorporate these elements!

This is from my newest book, Finding Stefanie.  The book actually starts out in Stefanie’s pov, but I had much less trouble with her Hook…so I’m going to show you my versions of the HOOK for the hero’s POV.

Set up: Lincoln is a movie star, and he has a secret that could destroy his career.  I was looking for a fun opening that would tell the reader who he was and hint at his angst.

Version 1:

Lincoln Cash had picked a beautiful day to cheat death.  Seventy five degrees, with a slight wind scattering the cirrus across the crystal blue skies, and lifting the sweat from neck and below the collar of his tuxedo.  Fifty feet below, the surf broke and sprayed against the pier, beckoning, tantalizing.  With the smell of the open-air grills situated along the beach stoked for spring break fever in  Florida, and the ecstatic cheers from his adoring public, yes, it couldn’t be more of a perfect day to prove that once again, he was invincible.

So – we have Anchoring, Hero Identification (we understand that he’s famous, and an action hero of some sort), and Problem (can he live up to his fame?).  We’re missing Run, and Stakes (because we haven’t really hinted at what will happen if he doesn’t make it.)

I discarded that, and went with a more introspective open:

Lester Carter had three good reasons he might drive his silver two-door Aston Martin Vanquish off the end of a two-story pier into the rolling surf of the
Atlantic Ocean.  The first, of course, because Dex has asked him to, and Lester owed everything to Dexter, the director who discovered him.

The second reason, Lester, aka, action hero/movie star Lincoln Cash, held closer to his chest, a secret so guarded, Lincoln might be more acquiescent to revealing his real name and perhaps the address for the vacant lot that he’d once shared with the homeless in Houston, Texas than divulging his primary motivation for throwing himself off buildings, running from explosions, jumping on bucking broncos and generally abusing his body within an inch of a not-so-secret death.Yes, Lester appreciated the fame, the money, the cars, the adoration of fans, especially women across the globe.  Liked being able to call Spago and get a table without waiting, liked knowing that even the president stocked up on his DVDs.  But what kept him going, through all the bruises, and loss of privacy, and tabloid accusations and even the occasional crazed fan, could only be attributed to a little girl named Fanny.

This was heavy on Stakes and Hero Identification, but lacked Anchoring, Problem and Run.  And, it was too long to get to the real hook.

Moving on, I tried this:

Lester Carter just might be the greatest actor that ever walked the earth.  Not only had he pulled off the greatest charade of the century with his new found persona, but audiences the world over believed he could practically leap tall buildings, bluff any villain, escape from sure death, withstand any torture, and save the day in style.  He had cars, money, and women, — James Bond had nothing on Lester Carter, aka, superstar Lincoln Cash.

For a while, he’d even believed his own publicity.

But in about ten minutes, everyone in the world would know he that was a fraud. He glanced again at the silver two door Aston Martin poised to launch off the end of a two-story pier into the rolling surf of the Atlantic Ocean and a chill brushed through him.

This had Stakes, Hero Identification, a touch of Anchoring, and Problem. It lacked Run, but felt closer.

Still, I wasn’t loving it.  It was still a bit long.  And, I wasn’t sure I had the right hero identification – he still felt too invincible for the reader to connect to.  So, I tried something more succinct and closer to home:

Lincoln Cash had managed to hang onto his action hero status through stunt accidents, bad lines, scathing reviews and even the occasional tabloid scandal.  But he never thought his career would be taken down by a button.

A simple one inch pearly white button, the top button, sewn into the silky designer shirt.  It had tangled his fingers and as they fumbled, it prolonged the scene until Dex had to call “Cut.” Silence descended on the closed set, thirty people staring at him as he released the confounded button and watched his hands shake.

I liked this because Lincoln felt more human.  And it had most of the elements: Stakes (His career is on the line), Hero Identification (We know who he is, and his feelings of frustration), Problem (what is wrong with him?), Run (the situation has already happened). We’re missing some Anchoring, however, so I fine tuned it and ended up with:

The invincible Lincoln Cash—as his press agent called him—had survived jumping out of airplanes, rolling from fiery car crashes, leaping from stampeding horses, and falling from sky-soaring buildings. He’d even weathered bad lines and an occasional tabloid scandal.

So it seemed particularly ironic to him that he could be taken out by a button.

Just a simple, pearly tuxedo button, no bigger than his fingernail, one down from his collar, sewn into his designer shirt. He should have ripped it off, made it a part of the scene, but instead he’d fumbled with it as his director, Dex Graves, and beautiful Elise Fontaine looked on with a host of other grips, makeup artists, camera people, and extras.

Watching his career crash into smithereens.

Now – to read the rest, you’ll just have to pick up Finding Stefanie, out in stores the end of July!  (And if you want to read the first scene, with Stefanie click here).

Now, here comes the FUN!  We’re going to have a contest over the next three weeks and the winners – we’ll have 10 in total – 9 runners up who will receive a copy of Finding Stefanie, and a grand prize winner who will receive Finding Stefanie and a CBD gift certificate for $50! (So, of course, they can stock up on other Susan May Warren books. *g*)

Here’s the rules:  WRITE A HOOK. Use as many (preferably all!) the elements of the SHARP acronym.  Email me the hook and list the elements you’ve used.  The best three for the next three weeks will be posted HERE on Fiction Friday!  The final and WINNING entry will be posted on the last week of July (with MUCH fanfare!).

Send your entries to:  booktherapy@susanmaywarren.com, and put in the subject:  WI – HOOK entry!  I can’t wait to read your amazing HOOKS!!

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