Man-World

My son got into a tussle with a bully in the hockey dressing room this week. The kid had picked on one of the smaller boys, and Grayson had had enough. He stood up and gave him a taste of his own medicine.

“See how you like it,” he told the tough guy.

News of the incident spread like wildfire through the ranks of kids and parents. A quiet leader, Grayson has never thrown a punch or gotten physical with any teammates, so it was making headlines even before we left the rink.

In the days that have followed, I’ve simply been amazed at the “attaboys” and thumbs up that have come his way. My own husband nodded his approval, saying, “you’ve got to stand up to a bully.” Grayson had earned some serious man-cred in that moment, and I shook my head in bewilderment.

My first reaction when I heard about the fight was to purse my lips in disapproval. Raise my eyebrows a bit. Really, was it necessary to get into a skirmish? After all, I’ve always thought that a guy ought to turn the other cheek. Walk away.

“Oh, no,” my husband assured me. He patiently tried to explain the hierarchy of boys, the Alpha-male thingy and the need to earn respect from their peers. Huh?

What I’ve realized is that the Man-World is awfully different than the Woman-World. Men know what it takes to be a man. They know they’ve got to stand up for something. They know there is a time to fight for what is right.

Even if it’s in a locker room.

So I kept my mouth shut and started taking mental notes. My husband and son swapped war stories and then I listened as my husband talked to him about being a man. I looked at my 14 year old son and thought he looked a little taller, a little less boyish. It was as if I’d glimpsed the future and felt the past slip away, just a tiny bit.

He’s entering the Man-World I know so little about, and it’s bittersweet.