A stopping place for your child
Early birds and night owls alike can relate. Uninterrupted screen time disappears like my friend Michelle’s whole wheat chocolate chip peanut butter cookies. And whether you rise early and write, or burn the after bedtime hours we all still have to find a good stopping place. Life tends to begin anew at daybreak. Families need their breakfasts, and if you homeschool–as we do–you’ve got to be ready to don that different hat. Coffee aside, how to switch gears?
Disconnect. Easier said than done, but seriously. Disconnect from the research and the writing, from the emails and the blogs and focus on what in real life needs done next. Use a timer if you must. Choose to do this with joy, not begrudging time away from the WIP. This is possible (vows a mom who’s guilty of feeling guilty for preferring my fiction to my family at times). I know God rewards this honoring of priorities. He’s redeemed my heart for home and family when it was perilously close to flat-lining.
My oldest came to me as I was writing this last night. Finished with brushing her teeth and the whole pre-bedtime routine, she stood behind me at my desk and noticed the title of this post. I paused and looked over my shoulder. She remembers when she’d come inside the house from playing and would stop to listen, seeing if mommy was on the computer. Sure enough, the clickety-clack of the fingers hitting keys was her daily answer. I swiveled in my computer chair and pulled her into my lap.
“Mommy, can you come rub my back for a little while?” says this half-grown eleven year old, so beautiful and awkward on the verge of adolescence. My right-hand mini-me. Lord, how can I say good-bye to her in seven short years?
And because I’m a little more drawn to her these days than my WIPs, I sling an arm across her shoulder and we enjoy scratching each other’s backs and in the process, have a heart-to-heart discussion about some things that are worrying her.
The difference between now and then–then being back when she dreaded coming inside to be welcomed by computer keys clicking–is that I’ve learned to separate the two worlds. In other words, I’ve learned to be available. To not always be mulling over a fresh plot, or stewing chickens alongside character dialogues. Being able to disconnect and know that I can pick it up later after I put first things first.
Maybe it’s not as simple as “finding a good stopping place in your day.” If your life seems too “big”, simplify where possible. We simply cannot do it all, yet in moments of optimism, we like to think we can. Take me. I love my children to pieces, am addicted to the homeschool way, have such diverse interests as writing and chicken farming, yet for the past two years my writing has been crowded out to make room for volunteer work and friendships. Recently I backed out of two high-stress volunteer areas and oh the blessed relief! Becoming more organized and intentional about housework conserves time. Getting the dishes done after supper and picking up the odds and ends of our busy days, for instance, makes a brand new morning more palatable to us creative types.
There’s no easy answer when it comes to carving out time to write while fulfilling our God-given desires for nurturing our family. The good news is that many published authors are successful at balancing career and family. If it’s a true calling, then you can be assured that God will bless it.
God is faithful and He’s created us to be passionate about many things. Luke 16:10a says,
“He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much…”
My prayer is to be faithful with all these things.
