Seriously Bumming!
I just got a rejection letter today! Not from a publisher, but from the board at ACFW regretting to inform me I’m not the recipient of their scholarship. There were 53 applicants and I knew it was a long shot, but I also believed that I would get it. Hoped that that would be a sign from God that I’m on the right path. But with two homes for the last six months (we hopefully close on the 11th for less than we were asking) and no extra cash at all, it’s highly unlikely (unless I get a contract) that I’ll be going to ACFW in Denver this year. And I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Since ACFW Nashville in 2005, I”ve never missed a conference. At first, I went for the teachings and the editor and agent connections. And I wasn’t disappointed, but it’s the people that I’m going to miss the most. I feel that that illusive contract is just around the corner and by not going this year, it will put me further behind in my writing journey. But ACFW prayerfully considered every applicant, and I guess I’m not needy enough. No, I’m probably not the worse off, but I was really hoping, believing…
Oh well, like with everything else in my life, things don’t come easy for me. Things aren’t just dropped in my lap, I have to work HARD for them. I should probably accept this after 40 years on this earth. This is my life’s path, and I got to walk it. But do I have to like it?
It’s just getting harder to persevere down this path, and I don’t know how much longer I can walk it. I don’t want to over spiritualize this, but not going to ACFW is either an obstacle I need to overcome or a sign that I need to reevaluate my path. Oh, I probably will come to my senses in the morning. But this writing journey steals sooo much of my time and there’s no fruit. NO FRUIT! Why do I keep at it?
