Beyond Balance: Embracing the Hats We Wear

I started blogging to try to find the balance between raising my family and working on my writing career. I interviewed close to a hundred moms and dads who seemed to have found that balance. Three years later I AM still searching for that balance.

I’m starting to think balance is the wrong term to use. Sure, I have tasted moments when all the plates I’m spinning stayed up in perfect harmony. Doesn’t happen often, but when it does it’s a beautiful site. But it doesn’t last. Plates come crashing down sometimes one at a time, sometimes all at once.

More often than not, “balance” looks more like a juggling act with one ball up in the air as I’m desperately grasping for the other. Again, not a pretty site.

Maybe the problem is in the word. Balance implies that all things are equal, evenly weighed on a scale or in this instance equal in my life. But should things be equal, in balance? I’m starting to think the answer is no!

Instead of looking at it as trying to find the balance between family and work, why not see it as simply wearing of different hats. No balance involved there. You just put the family hat on your head, smash it done so it won’t fall off and wallah! It’s family time. The time for you to focus on being mom or dad. Time to schedule movie, pizza nights or a day at the park. Then when it’s time to switch hats, grab the work one. If you’re like me, I have more than one work hat. There’s the mom hat, and the homeschool hat, the writer hat and the housekeeping hat. They all need to worn throughout the day, but my problem comes in when I wear one of those hats longer than the other. Usually my writer’s hat. And then the other hats hardly get any head time! I didn’t even mention the faith hat, the church hat or the service hat. I’m sure you can come up with a half a dozen more, but you get the idea.

So is it really a matter of balance (think spinning plates or juggling balls) or is it all a matter or priority? Allotting a certain amount of time to wear each one of the hats. I think that’s the real answer to the balance question. Sounds easy, but it’s not. I know! Some hats are more appealing than others, and our hand gravitates to the one that fits most comfortably on our head, but all need to be worn to find that “balance.”

Having come to this revelation will I suddenly trade my plates and balls for hats? Probably not right away, but it sure helps put life into perspective and changing hats beats keeping those plates and balls from crashing to the ground!

Thanks to Laity Lodge for challenging me to write this for the Family Fun Time Giveaway. I’ve definitely dropped the family ball and I’d love to get acquainted with my family hat at Laity Lodge Family Camp!

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