The Gift of Friendship
Why are we drawn to what we can’t have and to the people who don’t want us? Why is it so easy for some to be a part of a group while others continue to stare from outside the circle longing to be in. I’ve struggled with this feeling ALL my life and it’s so hard to see my kids struggle with the same thing. I want desperately to help, but how can I when I don’t have the answers?
Friendship, true friendship is a gift. It can’t be bought for oneself and it shouldn’t be begged for. To be given something after prodding and begging seems to cheapen the value, lessen the friendship. Who wants a gift that was forced? I sure don’t. But it’s taken me YEARS to learn this lesson, and God’s been speaking to me of late, whispering a simple truth for my life that sounds something like this “don’t chase after friendships that I have not given you.”
I don’t understand why some people are drawn to each other and others are not. I don’t understand why I can easily rally people together but am often forgotten. I don’t understand why my children have to experience the same thing, but I do know that Jesus understands because he’s walked the same, lonely path. He didn’t conform to this world and wasn’t invited to the “happening” parties either.
The only thing I do understand is that God has given me a heightened sense, an awareness of those who feel the same way. I notice the outsider at writing conferences desperately wanting to belong to that inner circle. I notice the insecure child not sure how to fit in. I notice the quiet one in a crowd. Because I have been there and in many ways, I’m still there. And often times I feel God wants me to reach out to them. And many times I do.
Do I still long to be a part of the in-crowd? Do I still feel left out when I hear of others getting together when I sit home alone? Does my heart still ache for my children who are often left out? Yes, yes, and yes. But I know that friendship is a gift and instead of looking for it, I’m asking God to give it to me, to my children. And those he’s sent my way in the last couple of years, months, those whom he hand picked for me are priceless. Though they are not many, I wouldn’t trade them because they have given me a gift. The gift of true friendship.
What about you? Do you chase after things, people that are not yours? And how can you use your longer to reach out to others?
