Real Faith
Yesterday my faith was rocked. I even wrote a post called “The Unwanted Step-child of God” (yet to be posted,) and I meant every word at the time. It was written out of pure emotion and doubt in God’s love and provision. Seems like that little island where I was resting peacefully just days ago got turned upside down and inside out. Fear wrapped its sneaky hands around my neck and started to choke out my hope and faith.
Me. The one who’s been preaching about keeping your eyes straight ahead, not back in the past.
Me. The one who’s been working on being present and enjoying the moment, not looking to the right or left.
Me. The encourager suddenly the queen of doubt. I let fear and worry creep in and I let it pull me down into the pit of despair.
I admit, I threw an adult temper tantrum yesterday and wallowed in the pit for a while. Apologies and extra kudos to everyone who climbed down in the pit with me and spoke life, even when I didn’t want to hear it.
I had let fear of the unknown and worry for what I didn’t have (mostly finances and answers,) hi-jack my mind, joy, and faith. Not even two hours of dancing helped silence the worry in my head. Thank God His mercies are new every morning. And I knew they would be.
Nothing has changed from yesterday. Still no answers or movement, but I woke up with the words “real faith” on my mind and these thoughts.
According to scripture, “Faith is the assurance that the things revealed and promised in the Word are true, even though unseen, and gives the believer a conviction that what he expects in faith, will come to pass.”
To me, real faith is not about praising God just when life is good, even “sinners” do that.
It’s about believing that God loves you and is working for your good, even when you don’t believe it.
It’s about trusting him when you think he’s being unfair, especially when you think it’s unfair.
It’s about loving God even when you’re mad at him and throwing a tantrum.
Trusting he will still love you while you are mad at him.
Turning your heart back to him and trusting again when you’re done with your tantrum.
Surrendering control and everything you want, again, and again, and again.
Trusting he’s got this all under control and knows best even if you don’t like it or agree.
Faith is believing and hoping again when it’s difficult to believe and hope again, but you do it anyway.
Real faith is trusting God through the storms of life even if they keep knocking you down and all you want is for God to rescue you.
It’s about working out your salvation with fear and trembling (Philippian 2:12). It’s about “going to the very source of our salvation—the Word of God—wherein we renew our hearts and minds” (source: https://bit.ly/3eksK2v) even when we doubt the words we’re reading.
Real faith is messy.
But God is always ready to cleanse, restore, and heal.
