Compassion Over Condemnation
Last week, when circumstances and choices I made had me feeling like my halo got dinged up of my own volition, I found myself at a crossroad. I could beat myself up and cry “woe is me! I’m such a wretched sinner,” like my too-hard-on-myself self is prone to do over the smallest things, or I could accept my humanity, offer myself love and forgiveness, and do better next time. It’s taken me years to adapt that mindset, but I also knew I needed to embrace God’s grace to dust myself off and keep moving forward.
Many times in my life, even while reading the Bible, I’ve felt more condemnation (whether other or self inflicted) when I didn’t “measure up.” Certain scriptures would shine bright on my “sin” making me feel worse than better, so I picked up a book that I knew would offer me insight and the grace I needed. The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning.
I’ve gained so much insight and blessings from this book already, but today the story about a man at an Alcoholic Anonymous meeting, who confessed he fell off the wagon after seven years and stayed drunk for days, stood out to me. In his own guilt and shame, he confessed his sin to the group.
“Phil’s voice choked and he lowered his head. I glanced around the table-moist eyes, tears of compassion, soft sobbing the only sound in the room.
“The same thing happened to me, Phil, but I stayed drunk for a year.”
“Thank God you’re back.”
“Boy, that took a lot of guts.”
“Relapse spells relief, Phil,” said a substance abuse counselor.
“Let’s get together tomorrow and figure out what you need relief from and why.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
“Hell, I never made even close to seven years.”
Instead of condemnation, he was met with compassion and encouragement. He already knew he had fallen short. Being reminded of it was not what he needed.
It’s take me a while to learn (as I keep failing and being reminded,) that to heal and grow, people need compassion and encouragement, not condemnation! And I especially need to offer myself grace and compassion when I fall short.
Lord, forgive me for all the times I offered self righteous condemnation instead of compassion. Help me, to be that kind of person that loves first, especially when my human nature wants to point out what’s wrong and fix it! And thank you for forgiving me first, even before I’m able to forgive myself. Continue to teach me that having compassion for myself, not condemnation will help me heal and grow so I can help others heal and grow.
