When You're Not the Only One in Your Family with a Dream
From the Editor: I’ve been thinking a lot about my personal goals, my children’s dreams, and what I want my family to look like. Unfortunately, all three are often in conflict with one another at different times.
I knew from a young age that I wanted to write, and I’ve never doubted the calling, though I’ve struggled often with finding the time to pursue my dreams. I started my first novel right after I got married, then I had my first son and writing took a back seat to the demands of mothering.
I didn’t know there were writing support groups like ACFW, and I didn’t have writing friends to encourage me. I didn’t know I could write and raise children like so many do now, though in a way I’m glad I didn’t know. It allowed me to focus on my children and hold on to my dreams, knowing that one day my chance would come. So I set aside my WIP for ten years or so, had three more babies and did occasional magazine work. But my heart wanted to return to fiction.
I thought when my fourth child was two that it was finally time to start working on my own dreams of being published. Little did I know was that at the very same time God was calling me to homeschool.
What ensued there after was this stressed out mom trying to learn how to homeschool, be a good mother and write. Unfortunately, I felt like a failure on all three fronts at one time or another, somehow getting off balance at different times until my priorities became so out of whack that I had to sacrifice my writing and dreams for a season. The grieving process was real and painful. But in that grief Writer…Interrupted was birthed, and I started to interview other moms who seemed to do it all.
I grew as a mom and writer.
The other day I read something from Mary M. Byers that resonated with me.
“When you say yes to something in your life, you automatically say no to something else.”
I wish I would’ve understood that sooner. Then maybe I wouldn’t have been so anxious to move on to the next stage of my life and career. Maybe I would’ve savored each moment just a little longer.
Now that my kids are older and have dreams of their own, I’m trying to balance theirs with mine. It’s a never ending learning curve as I adjust and evaluate just how much dream pursuit this family can handle. How much I can handle and do before I burn out.
Will there be some regrets and what ifs? Probably, but if I remember that when I’m saying NO to the pursuit of someone’s dream (including my own,) I just might be saying YES to something more important!
What are you saying YES to today? And what are you willing to wait for?
