On Hubby and Blogging

It has been brought to my attention that my original post was a bit “bashing.” So in an attempt not to whine and complain about my hubby who is a wonderful, hardworking, fabulous provider and father, here’s the new and slightly improved version. 🙂

My hubby is NOT a reader. If it’s not on tape, or required reading for a men’s Bible study, chances are he’s not going to read it. So when he came home on Friday and told me he spent an hour reading my blog I should have been ecstatic. And I’m truly appreciative of the fact that he would take time out of his busy work day to read my blog, but I guess I was expecting a “Wow! You’ve done some awesome writing. Great job!”

Instead I got “now I know where you’ve been spending all your time.” Now I know he thinks I’m a great writer and that my site looks awesome. He’s even told me so, but at the time, that’s not what I heard. He probably said some great things after that but my mind immediately blocked out his words and went into “deciphering hidden message mode” which to me said:

“Gee, honey, now I understand why the laundry is never done, and dinner isn’t on time when I walk through the door. I’ve always wondered where you were when it’s time to put the kids to bed, now I know. Uh, didn’t you give up writing?”

I’ve come to realize that that wasn’t him talking. That was MY GUILT ad libing for spending too much time this summer on the computer when I claimed to have given up writing? Over the past couple of months comments from my kids and husband have confirmed that I’m still on the computer a lot.

All this happened as I was heading out the door on my long awaited writing weekend. Doubts, insecurities and tears oozed from me. All in that one little moment I felt it happening all over again. Did I trade one idol in for another?

I wanted to believe that I had given up my idols but this new obsession seems to be growing out of control. And I know it, and I’ve already determined to set some boundaries. I guess I was just taking advantage of the scheduless summer. Now it’s back to routines, and blogging is going to have to be scheduled in with the rest of my life.

So for the record, my hubby is a wonderful guy who encourages me to take these weekends away, and I am truly grateful he has no problem keeping the kids.

Sure, he still doesn’t “get” my writing, but not many non writers do. But I know my defensiveness with my writing stems from my insecurities about my writing. Several people have commented over the months that maybe writing isn’t God’s plan and that maybe He has something better. Something I can’t possibly image. Maybe they’re right. Maybe they’re not.

Birds have to fly. Fish have to swim. They don’t question God’s will for their lives. And I have to write!! I am a writer. Whether or not God’s will for me is to be published will be determined. But I will keep pressing on until God changes my heart or reveals another plan.

But first and foremost I have to bring glory to God and if my writing gets in the way, then He’ll take it away. I know that from experience.