Self Doubts

As I sit here trying to put the finishing touches on my one sheets and sample chapters I am filled with an overwhelming doubt in my call and abilities as a writer.

What brought this on? Well, besides the scramble and the stress and pressure to make everything perfect, I realized that the momlit I’m brainstorming may not really be a momlit, but women’s fiction. So I’m confused as to how to present this WIP at the conference.

And then there’s the everyday reminder of how many awesome writers there are in the blogosphere. Other blogs have hundreds of subscribers and comments. Their storytelling far surpasses mine in the arena of humor, while mine tends to be on the heavy side, and that’s when I question myself.

Should I be going to this conference at all?
Will I make a fool of myself thinking I can write?
Will editors roll their eyes and chuckle behind my back after they read my stuff?
Am I even prepared to talk with an editor or agent after 6 months of not writing?
Am I fooling myself into thinking that just because I like what I write others will also?

So many doubts all of a sudden rising seemingly out of nowhere. I’ve always had confidence in my call and my ability to write. I don’t think I’m doubting that. But I guess I’m doubting whether I’m good enough to stand out in the crowd of all the great writers at the conference and here on the web.

I know God is not interested in the numbers. And it is up to Him to promote my writing. All I have to do is be obedient to the call and write. Whether He uses me to touch one or one hundred, it really shouldn’t matter. Either way I God will be glorified.