Generation NeXt Marriage

by Tricia Goyer

Do you still find yourself humming the love songs of the 80s and 90s? Do you still believe that every marriage should be between soul mates? But — do you wonder how you can succeed at love and marriage when the generation you grew up in didn’t?

Marriage isn’t what it used to be-it can be better than ever.

If you are a Gen Xer, your marriage has challenges and potentials that no other generation has known. A Gen Xer herself, Tricia Goyer offers realistic help to achieve the God-honoring marriage you long for. She includes:

Ways to protect your marriage despite the broken relationships modeled in your youth
Stories, suggestions, and confessions from fellow Gen Xers facing the “What now?” question of real-life marriage

Advice from the ultimate marriage survival guide: the Bible

Stats, quizzes, sidebars, and study questions related to this “relationally challenged” time in history

Practical helps for negotiating kids, work, sex, money, and dirty laundry-sometimes all in the same evening

If you are part of a generation of adults who don’t want to bow to their culture or live and love like their parents did — this book is for you.

What I say:

What I love about Tricia Goyer’s Generation NeXt books is that she doesn’t claim to have all the answers. They don’t read like you’re going to marriage counseling or a parenting seminar, instead it’s a light read with heavy insights from other GenXers on marriage and parenting.

I found chapter four to be something God’s been dealing with me. It’s all about Finding balance and being stressed in life. If you’re a regular reader, then you know I’m looking for balance in all areas of my life, though I rarely talk about my marriage. I have several reasons why I don’t mention my husband here much, mostly because while I bear my soul in almost all areas of my life, I’d like to keep a part of my life somewhat protected.

But I will share that hubby and I come from different backgrounds and grew up in completely different families. My parents divorced when I was six, his was the typical all American family in the 60s. Yet, what both of our families lacked were Godly role models of what a husband/wife relationship looked like.

This chapter helped remind me that I need to respect my husband and make an effort to show him that I respect him. It’s still a challenge for me to do this, since I didn’t see this type of respect modeled for me. I grew up in the home of an independent and strong mother who had help from an equally strong grandmother. It’s much easier for me to lead in the home, than to allow my husband space to take his rightful place as leader.

Another thing this chapter helped remind me is that though we may plan out every area of our lives, after 16 years of marriage, we’ve gotten lazy with planning time for one another. I haven’t gotten everything scheduled of figured out, but it’s so nice to know neither do the contributers in Tricia’s book. They’re learning and growing, just like me!

If you’d like a copy, leave a comment. Two lucky winners will win!

Oh…and Tricia wants me to tell you you can win a date with your spouse Love Gen X Style!

Share your story and WIN a dinner for TWO to the restaurant of your choice! ($50 maximum)

Tell us the story of how you and your spouse met. If you have photos, send those along, too! All the stories will be published on Tricia’s blog.

The winning story will be the one with the most comments…so tell your friends. A winning story will be chosen at the end of the blog tour and will be published in Tricia’s monthly newsletter! (Just think, you’ll be famous!)

Contest entry form for Generation NeXt Marriage blog tour!

What they say:
“Where do Gen Xers find the priceless principles to make a marriage work? Most didn’t get them in the homes they grew up in, and they didn’t get them from the TV or movies they watched or music lyrics they listened to. But Tricia Goyer, an Xer herself, offers real help and real hope for the Gen X marriage and insightful truths for all who work or minister to those in the Gen X age group.”
-Pam Farrel, best-selling author of Men Are Like Waffles-Women Are Like Spaghetti, Red-Hot Monogamy, and The First Five Years

Generation NeXt Marriage is a much-needed marriage manual for a generation ready to make the most of marriage. Thoughtful, interactive, well researched, and exceptionally relevant for couples who want to thrive in their marriages, this book is a must for beginning and continuing young couples.”

-Elisa Morgan, CEO, MOPS International and publisher, FullFill magazine

“Tricia Goyer refuses to play the ‘blame game.’ This extraordinary Gen Xer, raised in a blended family, steps up to the plate and speaks to ALL generations — but especially to her own. She is gifted and blunt. She shares that it’s time to really LIVE and LOVE YOUR HUSBAND GOD’S WAY — and tells the reader just how to do that. Tricia is young enough to be my daughter and wise enough to be my mentor. This book is GenXcellent!”
-Nancy Cobb, author of How to Get Your Husband to Listen to You

Five unique marriage challenges faced by Gen Xers and how to tackle them!

1. Gen Xers saw more divorces than successful marriages. The divorce rate doubled between 1965-1977 and Gen Xers were the victims. 40% of us spent time in a single-family home before age 16. We grew up in families with step-moms and half-siblings and living every other weekend with a different parent and faced the loneliness and alienation of our splintered families. As married adults, Gen Xers can meet their spouse’s need by speaking encouraging words, which are like gold stars to a Gen Xer’s heart — and by never using the D-word. As author Madeleine L’Engle once said, “There are a lot of marriages today that break up just at the point where they could mature and deepen.”

 

2. Without role models, many GenXers turned to music, movies and television for examples of healthy relationships. Now, we often model our relationships after television sitcoms. We are good at quick comebacks and sassy remarks, without taking time to consider the other person’s heart. We also want our problems wrapped up in thirty minutes or less! Instead, Gen Xers need to understand that unrealistic expectations can hurt our relationships. We also need to treat out spouses with honor and respect, even when we don’t feel like they deserve it.

 

3. Our teen relationships were intense and often included sexuality, leading to intense breakups and the resulting baggage. By the time many GenXers walked down the aisle, they’d experienced several “pretend-marriages.” Spouses can break free from these bonds when we realize the truth about love, the truth about emotions, and the truth about intimacy. It’s knowing that what we had in the past wasn’t love — and emotions don’t rule. True intimacy is choosing to share our hearts and our struggles with the one we’re committed to for life.

 

4. Gen Xers were starved for quality time, so they appreciate balance. Doing too much stresses us out. The first thing Gen Xers need to do is realize the impact of our faced-pace lives, and then make plans for peace. It’s cutting out things that won’t matter ten years from now and focusing on the things that will.

 

5. Gen Xers were labeled the “slackers” and the “grunge” generation. The generations before didn’t think we’d amount to much. Because of this, Gen Xers strive hard to prove themselves. We aren’t content just “living life,” we want to reach our full potential. Spouses can encourage each other to follow their heart dreams. This starts with asking your spouse out his/her dreams, then offering encouragement and support!

 

We’ve winner! Contest closed!