Why?

I think the most dreaded word in the English language is the word WHY?

Why you ask? Well, most of our unanswered questions from God start with the word why. Go ahead, take a moment to ask your own why question of God. So, did you get an answer? Maybe you did, but chances are if you’re like me, you didn’t like the answer.

Why is one of those words for me that stirs up more questions than answers. It’s a word that can often depress me.

Why is there such evil in this world?
Why can’t I lose my extra pregnancy weight?
Why do my kids love to push my buttons?
Why do I have to go through trials and suffer?
Why is homeschooling so hard?
Why do others have writing mentors?
Why do others move quickly in their writing career while mine crawls at a snails pace?

Those last couple of questions were the ones I faced the first morning of the writer’s conference. And it’s so easy to give the pat answer…because it’s God’s will or it will happen all in God’s timing, but the truth is, it still hurts. When you’ve been longing for something for so long and see no fruits of your labor, then it hurts!

But that’s not where God left me. After I went through my why not me monologue, I gave it over to the Lord, again. It’s not my job to get published. That’s God’s job. And he reminded me that it’s not for me to know WHY he chooses to do things in a different way. Why someone who may have just begun his writing journey gets a book deal and others have to strive for years and years and years.

He also reminded me I need to take my eyes off the prize and keep them focused on the road ahead. Along my path to publication I think I lost my voice and became more concerned with perfecting the craft than with writing God’s heart in the way only I can.

Well, I’m back on the path. I’m renewing my vision for my writing that God has called me to and when He thinks that voice is ready to be heard, it will be.

Will I still ask the question why? Most definitely, but I will hopefully be content when God chooses not to answer.