The Devil and the Angel
I screwed up again. And amazingly, I felt entitled to. (Insert yucky “ew” sound here, please.)
So here’s how it played out. Months ago I agreed to let go of our cleaning service, because we had to cut costs. Now if you’re a busy mom (If? Yeah, I heard that snicker.), sometimes that can be the difference between sanity and chaos. In other words, I was loath to give it up, but I did when my husband said that everyone would chip in and help.
I had one condition. Just one little condition. My only request was that I didn’t have to beg to get the cleaning done. Yes, spoken as a mom who KNOWS how things tend to work out.
Which inevitably happened. And has kept happening. So, I think I finally blew a gasket. I can remember the moment now so clearly. (Thanks to God who very vividly pointed it out to me.) I stood in front of my favorite wall hanging quilt, fussing with some cinnamon pinecones. Hubby and I were “discussing” how this arrangement wasn’t working. I pointed it out again. My brain kicked in and said, “You should stop now.”
But guess what? Another little voice quipped in and said, “Just say it. You’ve suffered enough. You’re entitled to say it.”
And I did. I nagged harder and brought home my point in a neat little dig. “I told you…” You can fill in the rest.
Yes, I’ve gone to my husband and told him I’m sorry. He hears those words a lot lately. I can only imagine what he’s thinking. And sweetheart that he is, he always says, “It’s okay. I’m fine.”
He’s fine? Interesting word choice, but I’m glad. And I’m glad this happened.
Why? Because I believe at that moment, I forgot to fight. I didn’t pick up my sword and beat the enemy’s influence off. Can’t you just see the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other? Let me tell you, that’s exactly what it felt like. I’ve never experienced anything quite like that, and believe me, I won’t forget it.
Time to get those index cards out and start memorizing some verses. Next time I’ll make sure my sword is within easy reach.
Praying and believing,
Dineen
