Don’t Care How I Want it Now!
I hate to admit it, but sometimes I feel like Veruca Salt whining about not getting what I want. I’m constantly battling the pull to look at the bounty of others while ignoring the scrumptious meal in front of me. Like Veruca, in my own life, I’ve thrown more spiritual tantrums than I care to remember. If I wasn’t screaming, “Daddy, I want it now! Give it to me,” I was questioning why He gave good gifts to others – things I’ve longed for – and not me. While my head knows He’s a good Father who doesn’t want a “bar of chocolate” to spoil the smorgasbord he has planned for me, my foolish heart sometimes questions His love. Am I the only one who’s experienced this?
Even Jesus questioned God’s plan and begged for his life – a different life than what he was handed. “Father, remove this cup from me,” he pleaded before his death as drops of blood poured off his face.
While I can’t imagine Jesus whining to his Father like Veruca Salt, the bible makes it clear he was in emotional agony as he wrestled with the path God put him on. A path I believe he could have said “no” to, but didn’t.
Accepting God’s direction for your life is a lot like wrestling with what you want and accepting what you have. Many times it can be like going through the grieving process. Jesus’s own bargaining in the garden of Gethsemane was clear. “I don’t care how, save my life now,” he pleaded. (My paraphrase.) And he needed a miracle fast because his time was running out. But his miracle never came.
I wonder how long it took Jesus to utter the next words to his Father in Heaven, knowing the plan God had for his life would ultimately lead to his pain, suffering, and excruciating death. “But please, not what I want. What do you want?”
In the bible, Jesus’ surrender comes right after his desperate plea to be saved, but I’m not sure it was said in his very next breath. Having wrestled with God many times myself over the years, and praying my own “whatever it takes, Lord,” I know what it takes to get to that place of surrender. It’s messy, and something you don’t do quick, easy, or lightly.
But when you finally accept that the Father knows best, no matter how much you disagree with Him, there is peace and strength for the journey set before you. And when you are able to accept and cherish the blessings in front of you instead of looking at what everyone else has, that’s when you start to live your extraordinary life! And perhaps, that’s what having “it now,” joy in your life, is really all about.
