The Paschal Death Rebirth
I feel like I’ve been in a spiritual desert for a while. Even though I’m engaging in some spiritual activities like reading short devotions and watching messages on TV, nothing is moving me like it did in the beginning of this year. I think part of it is that I was wrestling with some things that made me question spiritual truths. The other part is that I had a friend I was able to share my spiritual struggles and insights with. I no longer have that and nothing is moving me as I walk through the dry desert searching for a cool drink of water to refresh my soul.
Today in an attempt to hear from God, I opened up a trusted spiritual friend I’ve journeyed with before, “The Attentive Life” by Leighton Ford, and found my soul stirred. On page 146, the Paschal death spoke to me. To paraphrase, there are many deaths we will die in our lifetime: the death of our childhood, youth, dreams, spirituality and for me in addition to all those, my marriage, motherhood, daughterhood, and many budding platonic and romantic potentials due to the disposable and transient nature of relationships in 2022, and frankly, my busy life and responsibilities which sometimes prevent me from showing up in the lives of others.
If I were to dwell on all the things I’ve lost, the weight would be unbearable. One of the most freeing and precious lessons I’ve learned these last 7 years is how to grieve and move on. Most people get stuck because they mask the pain. But if there is no pain, no death, there is no growth. I’ve been learning this and using this to transform my life, and help others transform their lives, but when I read it today, it hit beneath the surface.
In essence, Ford says these many deaths we die, some small, some huge, may be God’s way of bringing transformation and new life. And Jesus concurs in John 12:24 “Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”
He says, Paschal death “is just as real as physical death and opens us up to deeper and richer forms of life.” Paschal death is painfully real, even if others can’t see it. But unless a part of us dies, we cannot be born again. Through every one of my Paschal deaths, I have healed, been set on another path full of new possibilities, and born anew. I’m sure I’m not done “dying” and that thought could send me into despair if I saw it as a death. But if I see it as giving me new life, that’s a whole other perspective full of hope.
So today I’m excited to reflect on this thought: What has to die in me to bring about further transformation in myself and others?
Are you brave enough to ask yourself, what needs to die in you for you to be become new?
